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Daughters wedding

409 replies

PeppyZebra · 02/06/2025 18:36

Needing advice. My daughter gets married in 6 mnth at a church. She was having 3 bridesmaids. Myself and ny husband halve purchased her dress at £2500, paid for a gospel choir and are paying for the church. We are also renting a house near the church for the night b4 and after. Myself, my hubby, ny son, his girlfriend(whois a bridesmaid) and my daughter are staying there night before. My daughter has asked for £150 each from bridesmaids for hair makeup and dress. Two are fine. The other one(best man wife) has said she can't afford it. She has already paid 50.00 for her dress and my daughter said the rest is not to be paid until day of wedding. Works out about 5.00 per week. This young lady and her hubby are not short of money. She works full time, he is a professional rugby player and they have just paid 60 grand cash no mortgage for an extension on their 5 bedroom house. She has messaged my daughter saying she just cannot afford to have her hair and make up done but has confirmed that she has made an appointment to have her make ip done professionally somewhere else on the day and it is to cost nearly £50. My daughter doesn't think she wants her to come to our home on the morning of the wedding with all the celebrations when the other 2 have paid and she won't. Just to point out also when my daughter gave her the link for the dress she ordered a completely different dress than what my daughter asked her to and ended up sending it back. I don't want her to come and I am annoyed that she has put my daughter in such a position and it feels like she is playing on the friendship of her hubby and my soon to be son in law. HELP PLEASE

OP posts:
DappledThings · 02/06/2025 20:52

PeppyZebra · 02/06/2025 19:33

Can I just make it clear through £150 is for the dress hair and make up so essentially £50 each. She has made an appointment for her make up done independent for £45 so she seems to be disrupting the occasion for £55 which we said she could pay for weekly at around £2.00.

Doesn't matter. Bride pays.

MrsPerfect12 · 02/06/2025 20:53

Rickeeeeeeeeee · 02/06/2025 20:27

I don’t think the OP is coming back…

They never do when it doesn’t go their way. 😂

Ewock · 02/06/2025 20:54

PeppyZebra · 02/06/2025 19:33

Can I just make it clear through £150 is for the dress hair and make up so essentially £50 each. She has made an appointment for her make up done independent for £45 so she seems to be disrupting the occasion for £55 which we said she could pay for weekly at around £2.00.

And as others have said, if your daughter wants her bridesmaids to have these she should pay. Utterly ridiculous to expect her bridesmaids to pay for the dress and their hair and make up being done.

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ButItWasNotYourFaultButMine · 02/06/2025 20:54

Your daughter should be paying for those things.

WestwardHo1 · 02/06/2025 20:56

It's amazing what people think is important about a wedding.

ColinCaterpillarsNo1Fan · 02/06/2025 20:56

So if anyone attends a church wedding in 6 months time with a gospel choir where the bride is wearing a £2.5k dress then you'll know that the poor bridesmaids are having to pay for their dresses via instalments.

nocoolnamesleft · 02/06/2025 20:57

The bride pays for the bridesmaids’ dresses, hair and makeup. Or she can’t afford to have bridesmaids. Expecting the bridesmaids to pay is grabby as fuck.

Bandofsisters · 02/06/2025 21:00

PeppyZebra · 02/06/2025 19:33

Can I just make it clear through £150 is for the dress hair and make up so essentially £50 each. She has made an appointment for her make up done independent for £45 so she seems to be disrupting the occasion for £55 which we said she could pay for weekly at around £2.00.

Omg. You’ve actually suggested a payment plan for her. That’s really insulting. It is tradition that the bride pays for the hair, makeup and dress, especially if the bride wants them to look a certain way. In fact this scenario is extremely unusual. If I was ever a bridesmaid and asked to pay, I’d probably decline being a part of it

Princessfluffy · 02/06/2025 21:02

If you are in the UK then the bride should be paying for hair, make up and dress and not the bridesmaid.

MyRootinTootinBaby · 02/06/2025 21:02

If she can’t use who she wants to do her make up for cheaper, then she shouldn’t be paying for it. She shouldn’t be paying for it anyways as a bridesmaid, but it’s extra cheeky to say she has to pay for it and then specify who she has to use that makes it more expensive for her. If it’s “only” £100, why isn’t the bride paying for it as she should?

SerafinasGoose · 02/06/2025 21:02

You certainly seem to know a great deal about this woman's finances, OP.

You are overreaching yourself. These things are none of your business.

Sevenamcoffee · 02/06/2025 21:04

nocoolnamesleft · 02/06/2025 20:57

The bride pays for the bridesmaids’ dresses, hair and makeup. Or she can’t afford to have bridesmaids. Expecting the bridesmaids to pay is grabby as fuck.

Exactly, this is why I only had one.

OneWittySquid · 02/06/2025 21:04

CF springs to mind I can't believe she expects them to pay for the privilege for your dd day I suspect they are paying for a hen and will be expected to give a gift.

MrsKeats · 02/06/2025 21:06

When my daughter got married we/the bride paid for all the bridesmaids dresses, make up, hair etc.

StScholastica · 02/06/2025 21:06

What on earth?
Even the Princess of Wales did her own make up. Who do these brides think they are,?

Bananafofana · 02/06/2025 21:07

I paid for my bridesmaids’ hair, makeup, dress, shoes, earrings, tights - and matching new underwear!

never have I ever heard of a bridesmaid having to pay for her own hair, makeup and dress (apart from on mumsnet).

MolkosTeenageAngst · 02/06/2025 21:07

PeppyZebra · 02/06/2025 19:33

Can I just make it clear through £150 is for the dress hair and make up so essentially £50 each. She has made an appointment for her make up done independent for £45 so she seems to be disrupting the occasion for £55 which we said she could pay for weekly at around £2.00.

If the bride wants her bridesmaids to look a specific way with her choice of hair/ make up and dress she needs to pay for them. If it’s only £2 a week why can’t your daughter pay?

Silvertulips · 02/06/2025 21:07

I think you are the CF’s

Its expensive being a guest let alone a bridesmaid - always extras, hen, gifts, drinks the night before, BM traditionally buy their own shoes and that’s it.

craigth162 · 02/06/2025 21:08

PeppyZebra · 02/06/2025 19:33

Can I just make it clear through £150 is for the dress hair and make up so essentially £50 each. She has made an appointment for her make up done independent for £45 so she seems to be disrupting the occasion for £55 which we said she could pay for weekly at around £2.00.

Why should she though? Your daughter siunds awful.

momtoboys · 02/06/2025 21:10

I am Irish but married an American and I was gobsmacked when we were married that the bridesmaids in the US were expected to pay all or at least a portion of their dress and incidentals. Grabby lot.

RealEagle · 02/06/2025 21:10

I’m still laughing at the £5 a week payment plan,I’ve heard it all now

MayaPinion · 02/06/2025 21:11

This isn’t America. Bridesmaids don’t pay. It doesn’t matter if they’re millionaires. Bridesmaids don’t pay.

ReadingSoManyThreads · 02/06/2025 21:11

Very poor etiquette to have the bridesmaids pay for anything. The bride (or whoever is paying for the wedding), should be paying for the bridesmaids dresses, shoes, hair and makeup.

Oceanwinds · 02/06/2025 21:11

I have actual second hand embarrassment for you and your daughter op. I can't imagine asking someone to be a bridesmaid and then expecting them to foot the bill for everything 🤣 most definitely yous will be the talk of the town.

Coconutter24 · 02/06/2025 21:12

PeppyZebra · 02/06/2025 19:33

Can I just make it clear through £150 is for the dress hair and make up so essentially £50 each. She has made an appointment for her make up done independent for £45 so she seems to be disrupting the occasion for £55 which we said she could pay for weekly at around £2.00.

How is she disrupting the occasion? Can your daughter not just say to her once you’ve had your make up done will you come to where we are before X time.
I don’t get what the drama is??