What fairly normal things do you not let your DC do?

[Mayflyoff]

I won't let my DC have candles, my 14 yo is not impressed. I also don't let them go on fairground rides, though I'm OK with permanent rides at theme parks. Are there things you don't let your DC do, that their friends seem to do?

I've never had any 'rules'. My DS is ASD so I wanted him to just go with the flow instead of the normal ridged rules. He's in his last year of Secondary and we have loads of stay overs here. I've tried to be as laid back as I possibly can as a parent to encourage my DS to be more sociable. It's worked. He's so outgoing now and a joy to be around.

Only age appropriate games. My DS, who is 17, is counting down to his 18th birthday so he can play the 18 games.
No fizzy drinks
Decent bedtimes even in the school holidays unless we are actually away.
No mobile phone until secondary school

No cola (eldest is 6)
No computer consoles (DS1 drew one out of paper)
No YouTube or Internet on tablets (they are for travelling only)
No TV after dinner and no TVs in bedrooms.
They won't be getting a smartphone til they are minimum 14

Why would you not want your child to play with other children? A play date is just that - making friends and playing. Exactly what children need!

Intrigued as to how the absolute no boyfriends / alcohol / ear piercings are to be enforced once they hit 16! Will you lock them in their rooms? Attend their parties?!

Some ppl aren't comfortable with it and we know the reasons why, we are more aware of abuse and so on .. yes it may seem ott, most cases it will probably be fine but to be honest I'm surprised you need to ask.. do you watch the news , there was a very high profile case in the news . That's not to pass judgement on you by the way but to not understand why some aren't comfortable with it (doesn't mean you need to agree) is odd.

Generally having the phone/watching videos when out and about (age 5). The time for watching YouTube would be winding down in the evening, not out for dinner. I like to encourage to be present.

So sad to ban sleepovers and play dates. Joyless.

@Terribletwoss I don't understand why anyone WOULD give a toddler squash. Sure, once they hit primary and start going to parties etc cake and squash is unavoidable. But why purposely give them juice? All empty sugary calories.

These kids normally went completely off the rails at uni - could spot the child of strict parents from a mile off at freshers week 😆

Mine had no sleep overs. I think you will find that most of us who haven’t allowed them are either victims of abuse or working child protection - or are both. It’s not fair to judge it as being joyless.

Fairly normal things that I don’t let dc do -

go down the slide with another child/ grown up at the same time. If they were too small, they just didn’t go

Juice - only freshly squeezed occasionally, or when eating out; we don’t have any in the house. No squash, no fuzzy drinks.

No Xbox, switch or PlayStation (8yo). We do have a tv game controller and tried a few games online. He finds some 7+ rated games violent so picks those rated 3yo (racing cars).

Youtube is only watched together for ‘boring’ things like learning maths, kids exercise, music lessons, kids meditation, drawing videos.

Im very easy going otherwise and am often encouraging him to do more stuff and very careful before saying no, as he can be a bit anxious.

I don't have mine done, so it feels like a totally unnecessary faff to tape them for PE and deal with possible catching tears/infections. Mine can get them done at 16 if they still want, when they can take responsibility for them.

Sorry but this is wild to me if it's not a joke, a 17 year old can join the forces. I went to university at 17. What do you think will happen if they play an 18 at 17 which wouldn't happen a month or two earlier? Do his friends know and if so do they take the piss, or does he just play normal games at their houses and lie about it?

Nearly 13 year olds dont have smartphones. They're fine!!!

Mine are teens now. There is no way on Earth that they are ever going to have my blessing to ride a motorbike, or be pillion.

Some of these are batshit! Poor kids!

So true 😂 the drunkest and most promiscuous. Thinking in particular of a girl in my halls who had never drunk nor seemingly been left alone overnight. No clue and got wasted and shagged around for a year (maybe more, I didn't stay in touch with her cos she was toooooo messy)

I give my 2 year old squash occasionally. I don't see any need to outright ban things like squash.

Maybe if he wouldn't drink anything else but he also drinks water and milk so in moderation, I just don't see the harm. We brush his teeth well.

Get tattoos.

I told my DCs that tattoos are something they can consider only after reaching 30. DCs are all in their late 20s now, so far no tattoos (at least, not that I know of!).

I did take DD to get her ears pierced when she was 7. For DH, its cultural for girls to have their ears pierced when they are around a year old and my in-laws were observing that DD was late to have her ears pierced.

I let my kids go on trampolines but refused to get one for the garden because I knew so many kids who broke bones on them. They’re now 16 and 20 and still hold it against me.

Pretty much same here. It's worked well with DS1. DS2 is different though, as he also has ADHD and there are more issues with impulse control, so we've had to be more structured about things with him. We couldn't have sleepovers until he was secondary school age because he just got too overexcited and wouldn't sleep and would be overwhelmed and cranky the next day.

DS1 is the type of kid who creates his own structures and routines and has never been particularly keen on doing things because they're trendy or everyone else does them. DS2 is much more motivated by fitting in though, and definitely likes taking risks, so that's been more challenging!

I'm quite relaxed apparently, the only big one is:

They are not to get into cars with teenage newly qualified drivers.
Eldest will be 16 in August, so her cohort will be turning 17 from September...
DH and I agree, we both know other people's kids that have died in crashes.

I am now very conscious that really at this stage of parenting I can advise, I might ban things verbally, but realistically I will not be there to ensure they don't get into a friend's car. It is a terrifying thought!

I guess some of these explain the explosion in MH issues/ Anxiety in kids.

Mine was only no piercings before 13, When they could care for it themselves and sports could be worked around.

Because it is physical mutilation, and looks awful? And you know that there are class-based objections too, surely?