Struggling to keep a secret..WWYD

[Luanaa]

Obviously I cannot say what the secret is (sorry). All I can say though, is that it involves a relative who is about to make some awful decisions which will most likely go horribly wrong for them, and could possibly cause a lot of hurt to those close to them.

It’s shocking behaviour to be honest but I believe it could (potentially) be prevented if the rest of the family knew and intervened.

However I have been sworn to secrecy and gave my word I wouldn’t say anything to anyone. We are talking about a semi vulnerable person so it’s quite a frightening position for me to be in and definitely easier (but maybe not wiser) to just try to forget about it.

Whilst they are not breaking the law, it’s not something most decent people would dream of doing. It could have a long lasting negative impact on this person and those close to them.

Is anyone able to offer some advice based on little information?! I feel like it’s a huge burden on me.

Generally confidentiality is trumped by concerns about the persons safety or welfare.

But of course if you break their confidence it will affect your relationship going forward and they might never trust you again.

It might still be the right thing to do though.

If you have serious welfare or safety concerns, and breaking confidence might make a difference then I would do that.

If they're just making an unwise choice you don't agree with.... just try and wipe it from your mind

Based on your updates, if sharing the secret and breaking trust is unlikely to make a difference to their choice anyway then I think you're right to tell them your concerns and then leave it there.

You are taking this very personally. I wonder who let you down?

Or what secret he/she kept that blew up someone else's life.

I think that people who choose to break promises without a good reason are less worthy of respect than people who don't. And we know which group you fall into.

Apparently you can't see that 'without a good reason' is exactly what I and others have been saying. And OP has a good reason to break the confidence.

Do you consider yourself the sole artbiter of what is a good reason? And you don't feel that ruining innocent people's and their children's happiness or their financial security is a 'good reason'. OK then. You do you.

But you're setting yourself up as the sole arbiter of what a good reason is. And your 'good reason' is anything that you disapprove of. While I rely on the democratic will expressed through laws on what is legal and in what circumstances should someone not be allowed full agency over their actions. Still, busybodies will always find like-minded people to gossip with.

Ok, darlin'.

Bless your heart.

Bye bye!