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Original poster

Condoms in husband’s work suit

243 replies

ForTealSwan · 21/05/2025 01:54

Trying to think rationally and not jump to conclusion.

Today my husband wore his work suit, that he hasn’t worn for a year. He asked me if I could check his back pockets as there was something there he couldn’t get out, and I pulled out condoms.

He giggled at the sight of them and when I asked, he said he didn’t know why they were there.

Could there any innocent explanation?

It’s the same brand that we use, so it couldn’t have been handed at an event or whatever.

Thank you

OP posts:
GertieLawrence · 23/05/2025 15:44

You had me at giggled. I mean, he’s either Homer Simpson or Dr Evil and both are a NO from me.

Now we find out all this other stuff. What’s next? Coke addiction?

DrinkFeckArseBrick · 23/05/2025 15:53

Wtf op

You are married to a lying sex addict. Bit of a drip feed. Given his history of course there is a huge chance he's up to no good

Guinessandafire · 23/05/2025 16:02

Got yourself a real prince haven't you?

A ' Prince Andrew' type prince by the sounds of it.

Velvetgoldmine · 23/05/2025 16:14

Why on earth are you wasting your time with him? We are not cats. You don't get nine lives. Don't throw your only one away on such a poor specimen.

Ohwelljusttoday · 23/05/2025 16:28

You said

he also has a severe porn and sex addiction and we have had countless arguments over him going to webcam girls.

there is your answer

TallulahBetty · 23/05/2025 16:30

OP ain't coming back

Yoyokitten · 23/05/2025 16:31

Sorry OP.
Do condoms have an expiry date on them?
I don't know if they do, I just thought you might have an idea when they were bought, if he's not worn the suit for a year.
It all sounds a bit odd though.
I'm sorry about your child too.
Hope you can work it out .
💐💐

Sasha07 · 23/05/2025 16:44

Even without the condom being found, he sounds horrendous. Secretly meeting alone with his ex? Web cam girls? Porn addiction?
He must have ground you down good for you to still be with him. You can do so much better than accepting his shit treatment.

Leave him to his hand/virtual girls/who knows who or what else. He does not respect you. Even if he is good in other ways, this bad side of him is bad enough to counter it all. Please find the strength to walk away, find yourself again and live a happier, better life. 💐

supersop60 · 23/05/2025 16:45

ForTealSwan · 22/05/2025 00:20

He said he doesn’t remember, I have already had a chat with him.

he also said that admittedly, if he had found them in my pocket he’d have been furious and thought I was cheating and maybe even left me.

I just don’t know. He’s not going to give me any explanation.

this isn’t the first time he can’t explain himself. He’s used “I don’t know” and “I can’t remember” many times before.

His ex worked next to his office. There was one time where he were planning on going out, him, myself, his ex, and his three other friends. I even picked the restaurant and everyone agreed.

he then told me the plan was cancelled and he was just going out with his two guy friends as a guys night so I didn’t need to come anymore, he also said they weren’t going to that restaurant but to a random place next to his workplace, turned out he lied to me and wanted to be with his ex and his friends alone.

he also has a severe porn and sex addiction and we have had countless arguments over him going to webcam girls.

Show quote history

This was the killer post.
He sounds awful. Life's too short for this kind of crap.

Dontlletmedownbruce · 23/05/2025 17:26

My dh is a real scatter brain and anything could be found in anything. Condoms in his pocket are as likely to be because one was on the bedroom floor and he heard DC approach and whipped it into his pocket, as him having an affair. So I think there could be an innocent explanation. Then I read your update...bloody hell you don't need to find condoms to see the issue you have with him. Maybe is was part of some game with a webcam girl but that's not exactly 'innocent' is it! He has a porn addiction, that's about as bad as it gets.

Artrunner · 23/05/2025 17:30

Could look at the expiration date of the condoms to work out when they were bought? Ie if they are due to go out of date soon and condoms last x number of years, you should get a rough idea of how long they have been in there?

Lavenderblue11 · 23/05/2025 17:38

Tumblingthrough · 21/05/2025 03:16

If they’re the brand you use then there could be a
logical explanation.

Exactly! I would be more worried if it was a brand that they DIDN'T use!

Notimeforaname · 23/05/2025 17:53

He cheated on you

DoggingDave · 23/05/2025 18:10

ForTealSwan · 22/05/2025 00:20

He said he doesn’t remember, I have already had a chat with him.

he also said that admittedly, if he had found them in my pocket he’d have been furious and thought I was cheating and maybe even left me.

I just don’t know. He’s not going to give me any explanation.

this isn’t the first time he can’t explain himself. He’s used “I don’t know” and “I can’t remember” many times before.

His ex worked next to his office. There was one time where he were planning on going out, him, myself, his ex, and his three other friends. I even picked the restaurant and everyone agreed.

he then told me the plan was cancelled and he was just going out with his two guy friends as a guys night so I didn’t need to come anymore, he also said they weren’t going to that restaurant but to a random place next to his workplace, turned out he lied to me and wanted to be with his ex and his friends alone.

he also has a severe porn and sex addiction and we have had countless arguments over him going to webcam girls.

Show quote history

Going off the latter amendment of porn and webcam girls possibly he's tucked them in his pocket for a posh wank.

MyTwinklyPanda · 23/05/2025 19:15

He's a coward and wanted you to find them so you'd get angry and throw him out into the arms of whoever he has been using the condoms with him. Whether their the brand you use or not, he's been playing away and has taken the most childish way out. He isn't worthy of you.

SugarPlumpFairyCakes · 23/05/2025 21:18

God, he's 'orrible, isn't he?

You're really interested in spending more of your life with this guy?

PixieLou71 · 24/05/2025 09:51

ForTealSwan · 21/05/2025 01:54

Trying to think rationally and not jump to conclusion.

Today my husband wore his work suit, that he hasn’t worn for a year. He asked me if I could check his back pockets as there was something there he couldn’t get out, and I pulled out condoms.

He giggled at the sight of them and when I asked, he said he didn’t know why they were there.

Could there any innocent explanation?

It’s the same brand that we use, so it couldn’t have been handed at an event or whatever.

Thank you

Could he be giving you a hint ( if you haven't been intimate for a while)

TeacherForGood · 25/05/2025 07:19

Deleting my post: just read the OP's latest additions.

TeacherForGood · 25/05/2025 07:25

ForTealSwan · 22/05/2025 00:20

He said he doesn’t remember, I have already had a chat with him.

he also said that admittedly, if he had found them in my pocket he’d have been furious and thought I was cheating and maybe even left me.

I just don’t know. He’s not going to give me any explanation.

this isn’t the first time he can’t explain himself. He’s used “I don’t know” and “I can’t remember” many times before.

His ex worked next to his office. There was one time where he were planning on going out, him, myself, his ex, and his three other friends. I even picked the restaurant and everyone agreed.

he then told me the plan was cancelled and he was just going out with his two guy friends as a guys night so I didn’t need to come anymore, he also said they weren’t going to that restaurant but to a random place next to his workplace, turned out he lied to me and wanted to be with his ex and his friends alone.

he also has a severe porn and sex addiction and we have had countless arguments over him going to webcam girls.

Show quote history

"Real" men don't do what you mentioned in the last paragraph: they sort themselves out or get help to restore level-headedness. Plenty of help is available. I suggest making a list of pros and cons regarding you staying in this relationship: then make a decision and stick to it. You will always be able to refer to the justification for your choice, then. Treat this idiotic behaviour as an illness, though, otherwise there will be long-term hatred on both sides, which nobody wants.

Toooldtocare25 · 25/05/2025 08:21

So
he makes you find condoms he can’t account for
he sets up a meeting with his ex and uninvited you
he has a porn addiction and refuses to change
when challenged says I don’t know as a reply = I haven’t been able to think of a lie in time

he’s told you if it was the other way round he would leave

sorry but I’d be fucking running a mile after the first bit. He’s doing what he likes and you are enabling him to. and don’t give the .. otherwise he is lovely line . He’s a prize prick and you deserve much better. Imagine he’s a burning building. Get out, close all doors. Stay out.

2JFDIYOLO · 25/05/2025 08:33

turned out he lied to me and wanted to be with his ex and his friends alone.
he also has a severe porn and sex addiction and we have had countless arguments over him going to webcam girls

This is what's known as a drip feed, OP.

The last time he wore the suit was when he was staying at the old place alone to go to his leaving do.

It is exactly what it looks like.

Your choice what you do next - but are you going to inflict a man with this attitude to women on your child?

Lizziespring · 25/05/2025 08:39

I hope you are getting useful advice and support about your child's diagnosis.
The condoms being there unopened could genuinely be something unimportant, especially if he didn't know they were there.
But it's no wonder you're feeling stressed after such big news about your boy. Diagnoses can lead to far more help from school and health services about ways for the family to encompass extra needs.

2JFDIYOLO · 25/05/2025 08:44

Is he also autistic? If you aren't, and your child is, it's quite likely, as it's genetic.

Hypersexual behaviour can be a trait.

www.psychologytoday.com/us/blog/sex-in-the-brain/202007/sex-the-spectrum

Molko1503 · 25/05/2025 09:00

ForTealSwan · 22/05/2025 00:20

He said he doesn’t remember, I have already had a chat with him.

he also said that admittedly, if he had found them in my pocket he’d have been furious and thought I was cheating and maybe even left me.

I just don’t know. He’s not going to give me any explanation.

this isn’t the first time he can’t explain himself. He’s used “I don’t know” and “I can’t remember” many times before.

His ex worked next to his office. There was one time where he were planning on going out, him, myself, his ex, and his three other friends. I even picked the restaurant and everyone agreed.

he then told me the plan was cancelled and he was just going out with his two guy friends as a guys night so I didn’t need to come anymore, he also said they weren’t going to that restaurant but to a random place next to his workplace, turned out he lied to me and wanted to be with his ex and his friends alone.

he also has a severe porn and sex addiction and we have had countless arguments over him going to webcam girls.

Show quote history

Webcam girls alone is enough! I’m sorry OP but it’s very obvious what’s going on to all of us. I think you’re naive if you accept his ‘I don’t know’ ..

Im sorry but if you can’t get in the pocket, you can at least feel what they are through it! This just seems really odd he would get you to fish them out!

Does he usually say and do things to make you jealous? Do you guys not have sex? Maybe he’s trying to make you insecure and make you worry. He’s an arse in every scenario it could possibly be! It sounds like he could be incredibly manipulative - saying ‘I would be furious if I found them’ blah blah. He sounds like he is a very skilled gaslighter.

I have autism and so do two of my children. It will be ok. And you will be ok on your own without this jerk causing an atmosphere/arguments/instability in your home. Get rid.

MolkosTeenageAngst · 25/05/2025 09:32

His ex worked next to his office. There was one time where he were planning on going out, him, myself, his ex, and his three other friends. I even picked the restaurant and everyone agreed.
he then told me the plan was cancelled and he was just going out with his two guy friends as a guys night so I didn’t need to come anymore, he also said they weren’t going to that restaurant but to a random place next to his workplace, turned out he lied to me and wanted to be with his ex and his friends alone.
he also has a severe porn and sex addiction and we have had countless arguments over him going to webcam girls

I would use this as a very welcome excuse to leave and never look back! Regardless of why he had the condoms he has lied to you about meeting his ex, has a porn and sex addiction, goes to webcam girls. Why on earth would you choose to be with a man like that?