Page 6 | Condoms in husband’s work suit

ForTealSwan · 2025-05-21T00:54:50+00:00

Trying to think rationally and not jump to conclusion. Today my husband wore his work suit, that he hasn’t worn for a year. He asked me if I could check his back pockets as there was something there he couldn’t get out, and I pulled out condoms. He giggled at the sight of them and when I asked, he said he didn’t know why they were there. Could there any innocent explanation? It’s the same brand that we use, so it couldn’t have been handed at an event or whatever. Thank you

IpsyUpsyDaisyDoos · 22/05/2025 06:49

ForTealSwan · 21/05/2025 02:25

He used to wear it to his office a few times a week.
We moved to an other office in a different area where the dress code was different so he stopped wearing it.
We moved back so he wore it again.

I believe the last few times he’s worn it was when he stayed behind for a few days in our apartment to wait for his farewell party. I was in our new house that week so we weren’t together.

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Could he have found them at the apartment after you'd packed up and moved, and stuck them in his pocket rather than waste them? Might have forgotten he'd done that.

I may be clutching at straws for you, but I'm hoping it's something as innocent as that.

TheGreyQuail · 22/05/2025 06:51

After reading your posts only, not really sure why you are still married tbh.
Severe porn addiction, cam girls, lies about things, acts like a young child about things caught in seam of his clothling and he needs mummy to sort it out for him?
Forgets can't remember numerous times about potentially suspect things and the night he lied about when he was actually 'meeting' his mates ex.
What would you say to a friend ie Jane who shared this with you about her dh?
Communist convention comes to mind for red flag waving.
Not to mention this discovery is made the day after your ds' autism diagnoses and on your birthday.
He's a) a complete warped twat, b) testing your reaction, 'she loves me I'll blag it out' or c) he's telling you he's possibly going to /has cheated.
Using your own brand of condoms can be better explained than random brand.

NCTDN · 22/05/2025 07:06

I’m very naive but even I would have alarm bells ringing with this.

ScandiStyle · 22/05/2025 07:13

After your update OP it does appear that he's been having sex- or hoping to- with someone else.

I appreciate you're very distressed, but at the same time he's telling you a load of porkies and you appear to be giving him the benefit of the doubt.

There isn't some 'condom fairy' leaving them there.
HE bought them and put them there.
He's either already had sex with other women or was hoping to.

Please don't accept his pathetic excuses and 'don't know' responses.

I suggest you see a family solicitor and start planning for him to leave.

ScandiStyle · 22/05/2025 07:15

IpsyUpsyDaisyDoos · 22/05/2025 06:49

Could he have found them at the apartment after you'd packed up and moved, and stuck them in his pocket rather than waste them? Might have forgotten he'd done that.

I may be clutching at straws for you, but I'm hoping it's something as innocent as that.

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Your reasoning makes no sense because if he'd done what you suggest, he'd know!

IButtleSir · 22/05/2025 07:19

ForTealSwan · 22/05/2025 00:20

He said he doesn’t remember, I have already had a chat with him.

he also said that admittedly, if he had found them in my pocket he’d have been furious and thought I was cheating and maybe even left me.

I just don’t know. He’s not going to give me any explanation.

this isn’t the first time he can’t explain himself. He’s used “I don’t know” and “I can’t remember” many times before.

His ex worked next to his office. There was one time where he were planning on going out, him, myself, his ex, and his three other friends. I even picked the restaurant and everyone agreed.

he then told me the plan was cancelled and he was just going out with his two guy friends as a guys night so I didn’t need to come anymore, he also said they weren’t going to that restaurant but to a random place next to his workplace, turned out he lied to me and wanted to be with his ex and his friends alone.

he also has a severe porn and sex addiction and we have had countless arguments over him going to webcam girls.

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Well this is one hell of a drip-feed.

In your position, I'd be done.

Gyozas · 22/05/2025 07:24

ForTealSwan · 22/05/2025 00:20

He said he doesn’t remember, I have already had a chat with him.

he also said that admittedly, if he had found them in my pocket he’d have been furious and thought I was cheating and maybe even left me.

I just don’t know. He’s not going to give me any explanation.

this isn’t the first time he can’t explain himself. He’s used “I don’t know” and “I can’t remember” many times before.

His ex worked next to his office. There was one time where he were planning on going out, him, myself, his ex, and his three other friends. I even picked the restaurant and everyone agreed.

he then told me the plan was cancelled and he was just going out with his two guy friends as a guys night so I didn’t need to come anymore, he also said they weren’t going to that restaurant but to a random place next to his workplace, turned out he lied to me and wanted to be with his ex and his friends alone.

he also has a severe porn and sex addiction and we have had countless arguments over him going to webcam girls.

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Oh.

AnonWho23 · 22/05/2025 07:25

ForTealSwan · 22/05/2025 00:20

He said he doesn’t remember, I have already had a chat with him.

he also said that admittedly, if he had found them in my pocket he’d have been furious and thought I was cheating and maybe even left me.

I just don’t know. He’s not going to give me any explanation.

this isn’t the first time he can’t explain himself. He’s used “I don’t know” and “I can’t remember” many times before.

His ex worked next to his office. There was one time where he were planning on going out, him, myself, his ex, and his three other friends. I even picked the restaurant and everyone agreed.

he then told me the plan was cancelled and he was just going out with his two guy friends as a guys night so I didn’t need to come anymore, he also said they weren’t going to that restaurant but to a random place next to his workplace, turned out he lied to me and wanted to be with his ex and his friends alone.

he also has a severe porn and sex addiction and we have had countless arguments over him going to webcam girls.

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Fuck that. End the relationship and walk away. Get an STI test as well.

Treesandsheepeverywhere · 22/05/2025 07:27

The dripfeed is because you're in denial OP.

That should have been the first line of your post.

You know what to do.

SoMuchBadAdvice · 22/05/2025 07:33

ForTealSwan · 22/05/2025 00:20

He said he doesn’t remember, I have already had a chat with him.

he also said that admittedly, if he had found them in my pocket he’d have been furious and thought I was cheating and maybe even left me.

I just don’t know. He’s not going to give me any explanation.

this isn’t the first time he can’t explain himself. He’s used “I don’t know” and “I can’t remember” many times before.

His ex worked next to his office. There was one time where he were planning on going out, him, myself, his ex, and his three other friends. I even picked the restaurant and everyone agreed.

he then told me the plan was cancelled and he was just going out with his two guy friends as a guys night so I didn’t need to come anymore, he also said they weren’t going to that restaurant but to a random place next to his workplace, turned out he lied to me and wanted to be with his ex and his friends alone.

he also has a severe porn and sex addiction and we have had countless arguments over him going to webcam girls.

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"he then told me the plan was cancelled and he was just going out with his two guy friends as a guys night so I didn’t need to come anymore, he also said they weren’t going to that restaurant but to a random place next to his workplace, turned out he lied to me and wanted to be with his ex and his friends alone.
he also has a severe porn and sex addiction and we have had countless arguments over him going to webcam girls."

Deja Vu.

Azureshores · 22/05/2025 07:40

ForTealSwan · 21/05/2025 02:04

He said something was stuck there and he couldn’t reach because of the seams

I feel rubbish
Yesterday I found out my son had autism and now this, feel even worse as today is my birthday too

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He's a narcissist and wanted to ruin your birthday?

Azureshores · 22/05/2025 07:51

ForTealSwan · 22/05/2025 00:20

He said he doesn’t remember, I have already had a chat with him.

he also said that admittedly, if he had found them in my pocket he’d have been furious and thought I was cheating and maybe even left me.

I just don’t know. He’s not going to give me any explanation.

this isn’t the first time he can’t explain himself. He’s used “I don’t know” and “I can’t remember” many times before.

His ex worked next to his office. There was one time where he were planning on going out, him, myself, his ex, and his three other friends. I even picked the restaurant and everyone agreed.

he then told me the plan was cancelled and he was just going out with his two guy friends as a guys night so I didn’t need to come anymore, he also said they weren’t going to that restaurant but to a random place next to his workplace, turned out he lied to me and wanted to be with his ex and his friends alone.

he also has a severe porn and sex addiction and we have had countless arguments over him going to webcam girls.

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Oh sorry just rtft. Yes, he's cheating my love. And he's a massive, lying, disgusting bellend.

IpsyUpsyDaisyDoos · 22/05/2025 07:59

ScandiStyle · 22/05/2025 07:15

Your reasoning makes no sense because if he'd done what you suggest, he'd know!

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I know that, I'm just hoping for OP it's something like that.

And a year ago, maybe he's forgotten. My DH forgets where he's put things within about ten minutes.

I'm clutching and I'm aware of it. Which is why I said it in my original post.

Thisisittheapocalypse · 22/05/2025 08:12

ForTealSwan · 22/05/2025 00:20

He said he doesn’t remember, I have already had a chat with him.

he also said that admittedly, if he had found them in my pocket he’d have been furious and thought I was cheating and maybe even left me.

I just don’t know. He’s not going to give me any explanation.

this isn’t the first time he can’t explain himself. He’s used “I don’t know” and “I can’t remember” many times before.

His ex worked next to his office. There was one time where he were planning on going out, him, myself, his ex, and his three other friends. I even picked the restaurant and everyone agreed.

he then told me the plan was cancelled and he was just going out with his two guy friends as a guys night so I didn’t need to come anymore, he also said they weren’t going to that restaurant but to a random place next to his workplace, turned out he lied to me and wanted to be with his ex and his friends alone.

he also has a severe porn and sex addiction and we have had countless arguments over him going to webcam girls.

Show quote history

That really paints quite the picture of him, and it's not a good one.

Double standards, aka projecting had it been the other way around.

Evasiveness.

Memory issues when he doesn't have them.

Addiction to porn, etc

Cancelled a night out mysteriously ... and looks like he went out with his ex ... opportunity at about the right time.

EasternEcho · 22/05/2025 08:14

If he used to wear suits to work at the time when his ex worked next to his office, I think the answer is quite straightforward.

EdithBond · 22/05/2025 08:19

Oh dear! Given your latest update, it seems he has no respect for you.

How old is your DS? Is it his child? Any more DC? How long have you been together/married?

What’s your financial situation? Are you financially independent?

Are you friends with his ex? Otherwise, why would you be going to dinner with her? What sort of an ex is she? Ex wife? Do they have kids together? If ex-gf, how long were they together and was it just before he met you?

He appears not to care that he:

Is addicted to porn
Pays for ‘webcam girls’, despite knowing you object
Meets his ex with friends, having disinvited you
Asks you to remove condoms from his pocket on your birthday, then laughs
Claims he can’t remember why the condoms are there (as if it’s a natural occurrence), yet last wore the suit to a party/working late
Tells you if it was the other way round he’d be furious, assume you were cheating and maybe leave you.

Clearly no respect for you. Appears to be pushing you to end the relationship because he’s too weak to do it. Certainly has a sexual interest in other women and appears eager to cheat (taking condoms to work) if not already done so.

Do you want to stay in a relationship with someone who has no respect for you? This guy sounds like an a-hole.

I’d be consulting legal advice about a divorce, gathering evidence of his finances for the financial settlement and moving myself into a position to get my own place with my DS.

Mumof2heroes · 22/05/2025 08:19

Geeboo1 · 22/05/2025 05:31

My husband and I got married last year and I realised afterwards that a married lady with 2kids he told me they were family were having an affair until a year before we got married. After I found out he agreed to cut ties with her. I am 6months pregnant and we had a minor disagreement recently, I found out he has resumed contacting her again and she wants to move to the city we live in. I’m not sure how to go about the situation

Oh Geeboo please leave him, he will never be faithful and your marriage will be filled with hurt and heartache. This is the honeymoon period when you should both be head over heels in love and feel blessed to be married to one another. Please protect yourself and don't stay because of the baby, leave for the sake of the baby and for you to have a good life in the future. I say this with love and kindness ❤️ 🙏

Tumblingthrough · 22/05/2025 08:30

OW could have planted them there in the hope you would find them

Imbusytodaysorry · 22/05/2025 08:30

PyongyangKipperbang · 22/05/2025 00:24

Oh mate....

To answer your earlier question "Do I just leave?", based on this, yes you fucking well do.

Have you been looking for a reason to leave? Sounds like you have. And you should. He is a manky, lying piece of crap.

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I agree with this ! LTB

MadamCholetsbonnet · 22/05/2025 08:34

Given your last post 🤮

Why are you still with this pathetic loser?

MrsElijahMikaelson1 · 22/05/2025 08:46

ForTealSwan · 22/05/2025 00:20

He said he doesn’t remember, I have already had a chat with him.

he also said that admittedly, if he had found them in my pocket he’d have been furious and thought I was cheating and maybe even left me.

I just don’t know. He’s not going to give me any explanation.

this isn’t the first time he can’t explain himself. He’s used “I don’t know” and “I can’t remember” many times before.

His ex worked next to his office. There was one time where he were planning on going out, him, myself, his ex, and his three other friends. I even picked the restaurant and everyone agreed.

he then told me the plan was cancelled and he was just going out with his two guy friends as a guys night so I didn’t need to come anymore, he also said they weren’t going to that restaurant but to a random place next to his workplace, turned out he lied to me and wanted to be with his ex and his friends alone.

he also has a severe porn and sex addiction and we have had countless arguments over him going to webcam girls.

Show quote history

That’s a big drip feed. Run dont walk

Pipsquiggle · 22/05/2025 08:46

Condoms found in a pocket
Severe porn addiction
Severe sex addiction
Pays for webcam girls

It's a no from me.
Please see a solicitor. Make plans to leave him or he leaves where you live

MummyJ36 · 22/05/2025 09:08

He sounds like a real catch 🙄

Everyone will tell you to walk away (including me) but only you know if you’re willing to listen to your instinct.

Calliopespa · 22/05/2025 09:13

StarsandCucoos · 21/05/2025 06:38

Was it a clumsy attempt by him to start sex? If you usually use condoms then it'll be this.

Like he thought 'I'll put a condom in the pocket and ask her to see what's in there...she'll surely be overcome with immediate lust for me'

Because I have no idea why an adult would ask another adult to go in their pocket.

Edited

That’s what I’m thinking.

A clumsy come on.

Calliopespa · 22/05/2025 09:15

MrsElijahMikaelson1 · 22/05/2025 08:46

That’s a big drip feed. Run dont walk

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Oh yeah huge drip feed.

Sorry op.

There are lots of people here who can support with your DC’s diagnosis btw.