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Original poster

Condoms in husband’s work suit

243 replies

ForTealSwan · 21/05/2025 01:54

Trying to think rationally and not jump to conclusion.

Today my husband wore his work suit, that he hasn’t worn for a year. He asked me if I could check his back pockets as there was something there he couldn’t get out, and I pulled out condoms.

He giggled at the sight of them and when I asked, he said he didn’t know why they were there.

Could there any innocent explanation?

It’s the same brand that we use, so it couldn’t have been handed at an event or whatever.

Thank you

OP posts:
YourSignalFadedIntoAnotherWorld · 22/05/2025 09:41

ForTealSwan · 21/05/2025 14:45

What do I do now? Do I just leave? I’m so confused

I would. There's no logical explanation other than he was or is hoping for a side piece.

TheAmusedQuail · 22/05/2025 09:50

I would tell him that if he has been unfaithful, he needs to move out of your home and live somewhere else.

And ask him if he is deliberately ending his marriage.

He needs a massive shock @ForTealSwan. Give him one.

CitizenofMoronia · 22/05/2025 09:52

BIN BIN BIN!!!. christ, hes got a porn addiction, you row over webcam girls, hes lied to you about going out for dinner with his EX and your trying to find a rational explanation for him having condoms in a suite you KNOW he has no reason to have condoms in! . He's cheated on you. at least once.

LittleBitofBread · 22/05/2025 09:54

PyongyangKipperbang · 22/05/2025 00:24

Oh mate....

To answer your earlier question "Do I just leave?", based on this, yes you fucking well do.

Have you been looking for a reason to leave? Sounds like you have. And you should. He is a manky, lying piece of crap.

Show quote history

Yes, this.

TY78910 · 22/05/2025 10:00

Based on the drip feed here I’d be going through all this shit with a fine toothcomb and arranging to see a solicitor

rainbowstardrops · 22/05/2025 10:03

ForTealSwan · 22/05/2025 00:20

He said he doesn’t remember, I have already had a chat with him.

he also said that admittedly, if he had found them in my pocket he’d have been furious and thought I was cheating and maybe even left me.

I just don’t know. He’s not going to give me any explanation.

this isn’t the first time he can’t explain himself. He’s used “I don’t know” and “I can’t remember” many times before.

His ex worked next to his office. There was one time where he were planning on going out, him, myself, his ex, and his three other friends. I even picked the restaurant and everyone agreed.

he then told me the plan was cancelled and he was just going out with his two guy friends as a guys night so I didn’t need to come anymore, he also said they weren’t going to that restaurant but to a random place next to his workplace, turned out he lied to me and wanted to be with his ex and his friends alone.

he also has a severe porn and sex addiction and we have had countless arguments over him going to webcam girls.

Show quote history

That’s quite a drip feed!
I was originally going to suggest that maybe it was a clumsy way of trying to have an impromptu shag with you but after what you’ve said now, I’m not entirely sure why you’re still with him anyway?

lovescats3 · 22/05/2025 10:05

You need to get an STD appointment

ScandiStyle · 22/05/2025 10:16

I'm really sorry but looking at your update I'd assume he's been unfaithful.

But also that you've had your suspicions for a long time and buried your head a bit (and he knows that , which is why he's playing silly games with you - ie lying.)

His 'ex' - is this a wife, partner, long term girlfriend who's still on the scene?
She may be one of several who he's been seeing.

You don't need to put up with being treated like this. You're worth far more.

Veganpug · 22/05/2025 10:33

ForTealSwan · 22/05/2025 00:20

He said he doesn’t remember, I have already had a chat with him.

he also said that admittedly, if he had found them in my pocket he’d have been furious and thought I was cheating and maybe even left me.

I just don’t know. He’s not going to give me any explanation.

this isn’t the first time he can’t explain himself. He’s used “I don’t know” and “I can’t remember” many times before.

His ex worked next to his office. There was one time where he were planning on going out, him, myself, his ex, and his three other friends. I even picked the restaurant and everyone agreed.

he then told me the plan was cancelled and he was just going out with his two guy friends as a guys night so I didn’t need to come anymore, he also said they weren’t going to that restaurant but to a random place next to his workplace, turned out he lied to me and wanted to be with his ex and his friends alone.

he also has a severe porn and sex addiction and we have had countless arguments over him going to webcam girls.

Show quote history

This info needed to be in the start of the information
Of course he's dicking about ,he has form ..

Veganpug · 22/05/2025 10:35

CitizenofMoronia · 22/05/2025 09:52

BIN BIN BIN!!!. christ, hes got a porn addiction, you row over webcam girls, hes lied to you about going out for dinner with his EX and your trying to find a rational explanation for him having condoms in a suite you KNOW he has no reason to have condoms in! . He's cheated on you. at least once.

This .
Sorry ,but you can't believe a word he says
He can't even be arsed to come up with a shitty excuse,he knows saying. can't remember. is enough to get him of the hook

Pancakeorcrepe · 22/05/2025 10:53

That’s one hell of a drip feed. You need to leave this man!

SoMuchBadAdvice · 22/05/2025 10:54

TY78910 · 22/05/2025 10:00

Based on the drip feed here I’d be going through all this shit with a fine toothcomb and arranging to see a solicitor

Zip It Episode 2 GIF by America's Got Talent

Based on the dripfeed I'd reach the sort of conclusion that would get either my post, or the thread removed.

🤐

KTSl1964 · 22/05/2025 11:02

Cheater - sad to say - look after yourself and I hope you have some real life support - sorry it's such a rough time for you. X

uuuuu · 22/05/2025 11:07

ForTealSwan · 22/05/2025 00:20

He said he doesn’t remember, I have already had a chat with him.

he also said that admittedly, if he had found them in my pocket he’d have been furious and thought I was cheating and maybe even left me.

I just don’t know. He’s not going to give me any explanation.

this isn’t the first time he can’t explain himself. He’s used “I don’t know” and “I can’t remember” many times before.

His ex worked next to his office. There was one time where he were planning on going out, him, myself, his ex, and his three other friends. I even picked the restaurant and everyone agreed.

he then told me the plan was cancelled and he was just going out with his two guy friends as a guys night so I didn’t need to come anymore, he also said they weren’t going to that restaurant but to a random place next to his workplace, turned out he lied to me and wanted to be with his ex and his friends alone.

he also has a severe porn and sex addiction and we have had countless arguments over him going to webcam girls.

Show quote history

Get rid.

uuuuu · 22/05/2025 11:09

He’s a mega liar, will say anything, get the fuck rid - hope you don’t have kids with this weirdo

Nikki75 · 22/05/2025 11:09

Sorry you are feeling this on you birthday of all days.
Honestly very confusing he may not of used them but the fact they are in his pocket like just in case he needs them would be enough for me to kick him out.

UpsideDownChairs · 22/05/2025 11:10

WayneEyre · 22/05/2025 01:25

You don't need proof

THIS

I spent a stupid (in retrospect) amount of time, knowing, but without solid proof before I called time on my relationship. You don't need proof is exactly what I wish I'd heard and actually felt earlier.

Jujujudo · 22/05/2025 11:16

It’s horrible. I found condoms hidden away a while back and after an entire day of utter devastation, I got myself together and quietly told him I’d found them. I diff do not ask questions, I just waited. He immediately said without shock or hesitation that he uses them when he wanks so it doesn’t make a mess, and he hides them so the kids don’t find them. I had no reason to suspect anything until then, and I had to believe him or start an argument. Try the same technique. Just wait quietly for him to tell you and decide if you believe him. What a horrible situation, it’s extremely upsetting.

ItGhoul · 22/05/2025 11:20

ForTealSwan · 22/05/2025 00:20

He said he doesn’t remember, I have already had a chat with him.

he also said that admittedly, if he had found them in my pocket he’d have been furious and thought I was cheating and maybe even left me.

I just don’t know. He’s not going to give me any explanation.

this isn’t the first time he can’t explain himself. He’s used “I don’t know” and “I can’t remember” many times before.

His ex worked next to his office. There was one time where he were planning on going out, him, myself, his ex, and his three other friends. I even picked the restaurant and everyone agreed.

he then told me the plan was cancelled and he was just going out with his two guy friends as a guys night so I didn’t need to come anymore, he also said they weren’t going to that restaurant but to a random place next to his workplace, turned out he lied to me and wanted to be with his ex and his friends alone.

he also has a severe porn and sex addiction and we have had countless arguments over him going to webcam girls.

Show quote history

Maybe you should have mentioned his long history of lying and sex addiction in your first post, because that puts quite a different slant on things.

If he'd never shown any signs of straying before I'd be inclined to think it was just a mistake, but that as this is his work suit, he works next door to his ex, has lied to you to be with her without you present and apparently has a 'sex addiction' and repeatedly pays camgirls to do things for him online, I think it's pretty clear what's happening here.

I'm not sure why you haven't left him over the camgirls and the lying, to be honest.

Frustratedmumpleasehelp · 22/05/2025 11:39

MrsElijahMikaelson1 · 22/05/2025 08:46

That’s a big drip feed. Run dont walk

Show quote history

This.
Gently OP, you gut is already telling you to leave. Don’t ignore it.

MerlinsBeard1 · 22/05/2025 11:41

He has cheated or had the intention of cheating. He forgot the condoms were there? Then giggled to pass if off as nothing serious.

I don't know if I'm some sort of nutcase when I read threads like these. I wouldn't be tentatively asking advice on MN, my DH would be found with his head up his arse. No joke.

KhakiOrca · 22/05/2025 11:42

Well after your latest update...
Yes he's a cheat.

PrettyPuss · 22/05/2025 11:56

I was thinking that condoms in his suit pocket could be explained as they are the brand you use (and I am usually quote cynical having been cheated on) until I read this:

'he then told me the plan was cancelled and he was just going out with his two guy friends as a guys night so I didn’t need to come anymore, he also said they weren’t going to that restaurant but to a random place next to his workplace, turned out he lied to me and wanted to be with his ex and his friends alone.
he also has a severe porn and sex addiction and we have had countless arguments over him going to webcam girls.'

JHound · 22/05/2025 12:16

Could he be making a joke? It seems like he clearly knew they were there.

Edit I have seen the updates. His behaviour seems quite bizarre

Curvyandstrongblondie · 22/05/2025 12:24

I found condoms in my ex husbands laptop bag, he insisted they were ours. We did use them but hadn’t had sex in so long because I suspected he was having an affair. He was, he’s now married to her. This was 8 years ago and I’m now very happily married coming up to 5 years with a man I trust completely. I also have an autistic son. I know this seems hard OP but you will look back and see this really is the best birthday present you will ever get.