What do you think of Soft Life / Soft girl lifestyle?

[sintin]

Seen this online a lot, my SIL essentially has this life, she's an artist and does make some money at this but my DB who is a high earner, her DH essentially bank rolls her lifestyle. No kids but she does do a lot in the home and is a great cook and baker but also does a lot of self care, yoga, meditation, reads loads of books etc, the stuff most of us don't have much time for. She is late 40's but looks amazing, can still afford to buy all high end products and have treatments as well as a low stress life. DB also puts loads of money into savings in her name only so she's financially set, they have been together for 30 years since their teens.

I am not married and I can't decide if I am envious of her lifestyle or if I think its just lazy, I have to admit it does have its appeal. I feel like life is much harder without the income of a partner and that would be with both of us working. Some women I work with do only part time and have higher earning partners so their lifestyle is still good on their income.

Anyone else intrigued by soft girl life?

How so? She presumably cooks, bakes, cleans, coordinates, pays bills, runs the household, runs errands, does all the shopping, etc., I don’t know of any pets who do all of that.

"...if she is happy that’s fine but it sounds a sad existence to me. Doubtless she finds that it takes half an hour to vaccum a room and finds that fulfilling and critical to their happy home"

Goodness me, there are some caustic comments in this thread.

You have no idea how much time the OP's SIL spends on keeping the house clean or whether she finds housework tedious or "fulfilling".

Nor does it make their mind dull. Or are you suggesting that even voracious readers, writers and artists are rendered empty-headed by the lack of a high-powered and important career such as yours?

She presumably sits around while someone else pays for things. I know every pet does that!

After more than 20 years of working while child rearing I would sign up to this in a heartbeat! And would not care what anyone thought or what social media was calling it.
I think everyone should be aiming to make life nicer, easier, more comfortable. Sounds like a solid plan!

What do you do outside of work out of interest?

Having the choice to work or not would be amazing.

Why do we have to have a flipping label for every tiny bit of lifestyle choice now?

I mean I don't disagree with your post as such but audio books don't produce more hours in the day. Apart from not actually enjoying the format, I also find that audio books take longer than actual reading since can read faster than what the people reading the book out loud speak

I read and write a lot. I research and breed a variety of rare plant- they’re often the topic of my (published) writing and it requires a lot of specialist equipment, research, and knowledge. I’m 50,000 words into a writing project on a different (fiction) topic that I’m enjoying and am considering shopping out to agents once I have another 30,000- maybe.

I garden (inc. growing fruit and veg), swim, bake, cook, and am in the middle of completing an advanced diploma in a technical discipline (that’s not work-related; I’m just interested in coding). I volunteer with a non-profit (doing a role that’s linked to my day job, on the regulatory side).

I’ve recently lost a lot of weight so I’m focusing on exercise, nutrition. I walk 6km each evening with my dog.

I’m a qualified Mediator so do (paid) mediation and conciliation for a local service on a very ad-hoc basis.

Outside of that, I’m partial to Taskmaster, and My 600lb Life, and love regular and intensive skincare, ideally involving lasers and Botox 😀

It all gives me a nice mix between keeping my brain engaged, preparing my body for long-term stamina, leisure, and brain bubblegum.

If I had more time, I’d like to do something more creative. I can’t draw a straight line but would enjoy some kind of crafty hobby. I love baking but am not good at decorating- would love to do a sugar craft course.
I have a camera and love using it when I’m away, but would like to get better and understand more about what all the buttons and setting do! There’s a local camera club I’d like to join, but just don’t have the time currently and their meeting time doesn’t fit in with my commute currently, so that’d be on the list too.

Sorry, forgot to quote @Conkeringconkers’s post to me.

Yes!

The dandies, stoics, flappers, beatniks, epicureans, mods, rockers, hippies, rations, punks, new romantics, or surrealists would never have gone along with this.

🤨

Love this!! Go you!!

Well there you go.

op mentions that the woman in question has been set up for life with savings in her own name given to her by her wealthy husband. The risks of such a lifestyle may be yours and mine but it isn’t hers. She sounds very lucky. Good for her.

I listen to audio books while doing the housework or while walking to and waiting at the station everyday. We have to be creative with our time but when you look out for it you can find time for reading/listening to audio books.

And we all say we have no time for this and that but if we all added up the time spent on our phones (including reading and responding to this MN forum) we would probably find that we do have more free hours in the day than we think.

I wasn't aware of this term until yesterday. It has certainly given those who consider themselves intellectually and morally superior, free rein to insult and demean other women for their lifestyle choices.

They do if you listen to them while doing other tasks like cleaning, cooking, walking. And you can listen on anything from 1.2x to 2x the speed.

I still have a fairly small kid so I don't like drowning out their noise while I do stuff like cook and tidy - and they object heavily to adult audio books, understandably!

I prefer music when exercising (which is also a hobby, so no complaints) and my commute is so short it's barely enough time to get into a book, plus I'm often doing a few life admin emails and messages then. To me, books are pure escapism so I need to concentrate to be "fully" in it to really enjoy it and right now my life is long work days, small child things and very little else as those activities get me to about 8.30pm daily. I make a point of reading about 20mins before bedtime though when not too tired. I'd love it to be more, though!

It's odd to me how the people who claim to have the sharpest minds, kept sharp by their 'challenging careers', often have the least elastic thought processes.

My parents are both retired, my mum was a GP and my father a professor. They basically live the lifestyle being described. My father just travelled across the world to give a paper at a conference and my mum volunteers 2 days a week in a clinic and has become fluent in Spanish and Italian. They travel, go to plays, operas, concerts, movies, travel, and still engage in their professional interests, although only as much as they want to.

I'd put money on them being as engaged with the world as you are, if not more. Their minds are at least considerably less closed than yours.

Agree. I get this sometimes. I don’t currently work and so it’s assumed my life is easy and I have all the time in the world. Also expected I do more to help out (small school) because I have more time.
I don’t think they want my life with my trauma. But they just see the snapshot of it.

Feminism means women having choices. This is her choice. It wouldn’t be mine. What others feel about it is immaterial.

So does this woman. She’s an artist.

So essentially a kept woman 🤷

Having it your own way every day, all the time without the challenges of the real world and having to make compromises and adjust, adapt, yes people's world can shrink. Volunteering helps, an active social life too. It sounds like your parents have already had fulfilling careers and good for them to be having a well deserved fulfilling retirement. They're lucky.

I have no issue with this at all. Their set up sounds like every single one in an interiors magazine I see where (usually) the female partner is some sort of artist and they have done an amazing refurb of a Georgian pile somewhere. Always, always it is Female partner and her husband who works in finance.