Why do you think people have good mental health ?

[GreenYodaFace]

My dh has very good mental health. I do not unfortunately. I sometimes wonder why !
Is it nature or nurture?
His dad was a very stable person and so is his mum?

I think nurture, but not just when your younger, anything in life can affect it

Nurture plus good timing.

I currently have very good levels of confidence and self esteem. As I have historically. Like your DH, I'm very stable and had a very consistent and stable childhood. I think that matters.

But I'm not immune to mental health struggles. I had around 6 years of plunging confidence which, at its peak just after covid (when lockdowns ended), resulted in some quite extreme agoraphobia. My MH at the time was linked to money worries and lack of direction or purpose. Finding a job I loved solved that.

Probably more nurture than nature.
Starting with stress in the womb and any traumatic experiences even when very very young. Possibly stress from mothers/main carers being passed on to very young children imprints the young brain in a specific way.
I think it is all shaped at a very early age, up to 5 or so.
Stability, safety, a calm environment, predictability, routines - all up to a point obviously because normal life has a degree of chaos and adaptability is very important, these things probably help in younger years.

My personal theory with zero professional knowledge.

Brain health is one of the biggest unknowns. Very fascinating and so difficult to explore and understand.

As an aside, women's brains are directly affected by hormones all their lives. Another big unknown these hormones balances.

Honestly, a shit memory.

I don't get bothered by frankly awful things that happened in my childhood as I don't really remember them. Even bad stuff now, I don't go over things. I get hurt but then move on. I don't have any control on it, I just don't really remember. (Ie when I re read diaries I've forgotten how bad things were)

There is a ton of research out there. Childhood, yes, but also lack of trauma, gut health, sleep, exercise, good friends, health generally, minimising bad stress, a dose in luck and and and….

I'm the other way round. My childhood was not great, but that makes everything now feel light & optimistic.

I have a wonderful ds, we get on well, we have a nice home I have a career, no major worries. It's summer. No-one gets to spoil it. I'm having a lovely time giving ds a much better childhood. 🙂It 's hard to feel down when things are so good.

Good job, good relationship, having all parents etc.

I always refer back to the explanation that if nothing bad has ever happened to you, you always "look on the bright side" but if something terrible has happened, you wait for it to happen again. (or again and again in some cases )

I've got a friend who believes in positive thought. She says that if you "think positive" you'll have a great life, she actually said it was a sort of faith or religion for her. But that's ridiculous and insulting to many who have had major traumas, or lots of micro aggressions over the years, who just feel terrible about pretty much everything. Needless to say she's never had any problems and her life is genuinely good of course!

Not ruminating.

After years of up and down mental health I have linked my anxiety pretty much entirely to hormones but I appreciate there are probably many different reasons for peoples poor MH. My daughter also had terrible anxiety until she went on the progesterone only pill and she was fine after that. Now I am peri menopausal I notice the second half of my cycle (when progesterone peaks) I feel great then for my period and the few weeks after that (my cycles are about 12 weeks long now) I do struggle with anxiety and low mood/irritation.

I think genetics/personality type has a significant amount to do with it. My family you could cut down the middle of people who struggle with their mental health and others who have excellent mental health and even with the kids in the family it was really obvious from them being very young what way it would go and as they've gotten older it's been proven correct

I believe it's all about being loved and feeling secure in childhood. Doesn't matter about wealth and material things.

That said, my parents found it hard to demonstrate their love and it's something I struggled with when I entered adult relationships.

Luck:

• Are you someone that has had a stable childhood, with no significant trauma?
• Are you genetically predisposed to anxiety?
• Are you NT?

All factors. Then factor in the everyday stressors of family, work, housing, money, relationships … they all have an impact on mental health. I honestly think it’s luck of the draw

Probably a bit of both, by good mental health I guess you mean not overly worried/ anxious etc as opposed to being fortunate enough not to have for example bipolar or psychoses. There are things that help with the former, the past is the past, try to leave it there, ruminating doesn’t change it, don’t stress about things totally outside of your control, you can’t change them, try not to worry about what might happen as it equally may not

Nurture

I disagree with some of the suggestions that people with good mh haven’t experienced trauma.

My family has experienced some very tragic deaths of young family members. Dh’s family haven’t and when they lost an elderly relative dfil fell apart. He’d never faced death before and losing his dad (in his 80s) affected his mh for years. He had no resilience.

I’ve experienced trauma but I have a loving family who are also quite tough outlook of “shit happens, have a cry, take a breath, head up and onwards”. It’s not that we can’t be sad, but there’s no wallowing. There’s always someone better off and someone worse off.

Nurture definitely but I think nature plays a part too. My Dad is incredibly steady and I am too, Mum and two siblings more highly strung.

I’m not excessively emotional either way. I don’t believe that anything ‘happens for a reason’, rather that everything is random which means I don’t take it personally when things don’t go my way and I mostly ere toward the glass being half full.

I’m quite easy to please too which I think helps, I sat in the garden earlier with a glass of wine and the dog, admiring my flowers and was pretty content with that as my Friday night activity!

My life would be very boring to a lot of people but bar a couple of months postpartum, when I burst in to tears at the drop of a hat, I have been lucky to never struggle with poor mental health.

Probably nurture. Me and my OH have both had very stable backgrounds, both have 2 parent households and have lovely extended families. Neither of us have had any significant trauma apart from the loss of grandparents which is a natural part of life, neither of us have any mental health problems (touch wood). I think if you’ve been brought up to feel safe and secure, it builds an inner confidence and self assurance.

Edited to add that it’s also helped being brought up to not dwell on stuff.

Well one of my birth parents had severe mental health issues (as did his mother), so either it's nurture or I didn't get those genes.

Good diet and getting enough sleep
Good exercise levels
Time outside in nature
Not dwelling inside your own head
Appreciating the little things and not focusing on things you can't change

Once the worst has happened though you know not to worry about small things. Bit much matters very much.

I’d say nurture. I think filling your time productively and feeling a sense of achievement is really helpful to mental health.
i know a few people who’ve given up work after having children but slumped into depression once the children are older and don’t need them at home. Obviously not everyone who doesn’t work has depression and it’s not a cause but certainly some people I know have too much time on their hands and it hasn’t helped.
Definitely something in getting out for a walk.
i had a very challenging few years a while back and having had depression when I was younger I was worried it could happen again, but it didn’t, and I put it down to keeping busy, walking a lot and looking after myself during the hard time. I also have a solid relationship and happy children (19 and 17) and that helps a lot.

Due to people not in general studying good mental health. Poor mental health is studied to cure, profit and solve. Good mental health in general is ignored

Nurture, good eating habits, exercise, not having money worries, having a reliable support network. Known that you are loved.
Also, I think people with good mental health are very resilient. They understand life has ups and downs and when something goes wrong or doesn't work out the way they wanted/expected, they don't ruminate about it. They pick up the pieces and move on. They always think the future will be better than the past even during difficult times.
My DP is an optimistic. His MH is way better than mine for sure.

My family were all extremely grounded, there’s autism in there but I suppose with very little money and not a lot of extra life worries (not rich but middle class and dad worked from home, helped out a lot). I’m disappointed in myself- I always thought I was grounded and positive like them but in the last year I’ve fallen fast when things haven’t gone well and a doctor recently tentatively asked if I wanted help for emotional issues when I started bawling

I look at my friends but I have no base point for comparison- the ones I see as less stressed have both parents, no kids, haven’t had severe money worries or had to move a lot. They’re in relationships that are going well, have decent jobs