Why do you think people have good mental health ?

[GreenYodaFace]

My dh has very good mental health. I do not unfortunately. I sometimes wonder why !
Is it nature or nurture?
His dad was a very stable person and so is his mum?

I’m sorry you were bullied. (Why didn’t you leave?)

I don’t agree though - there are people everywhere who have been through hell and come out with good mental health.

I think people with good mental health are very resilient
I'm not sure resilience is a reliable indicator of good mental health though. Don't think it's uncommon for people to have to get on with things and keep it together because they're everyone else's support/responsible adult and they don't have a choice. I can't go on. I'll go on.

Empathy fail? Having a bad day?

Are you seriously asking why she didn't leave her workplace where she was bullied? How do you even know she didn't? She probably did when she could? It's not always possible to walk away without another job lined up. I recommend you try and work on your emotional intelligence and manners.

Most mental ill health is trauma.

either current or past.

I have left.

You missed my point though. I have been through other times which were traumatic - or as you put it "been through hell". Other situations which people have said would have broken them. I thought I was someone who didn't struggle that way.
Then this situation broke me. On the face of it, you'd probably say it was less traumatic that some of the other things I've been through. But this was the one that broke me.
And actually only very few people know how much the situation effected me. Very very few.

As I said, it's meeting the situation that breaks you; and it may not be one you expect. It doesn't have to be the worst one either.

@FonSForFew thank you.

I had it explained during as a combination of positive factors that support your MH and stressing factors that put strain on it. So things like stable family life, success in education, friends, contribute positively (maybe this is the elusive resilience) and trauma, relationship breakdowns, illness, poverty etc are the things that can worsen it. Some people don't have enough supports for what life throws at them.

(I'm sure this is badly explained but it stuck in my mind)

I think some of it is learned or hereditary disposition. My grandma was anxious with poor mental health, my mum had quite severe mh issues including a few in patient stays, possibly Bi-polar. When I was a kid she was always worrying, catastrophizing, worrying about every suffering person or animal in the world and how she could help. I too have had a lot of depression and anxiety although no-where near at my mum's level. I do feel my mum projected a lot onto me as a child that led to anxiety. I've tried not to do it with my own kids and hope to god they don't develop problems.. My dh on the other hand has excellent mental health as do all his family.

The gift of knowing how to be happy is very rare. I think I have only ever known one person with this.

In most situations, language can be important-saying you are suffering with your mental health/anxiety/depression (unless, of course, you have a diagnosed mental illness) can make you feel worse-it just sounds so...overwhelming.

I think for most of us, most of the time, we simply have a case of the blues and it will eventually pass.

Mental health has become a fashionable phrase and it seems to focus on the opposite of what it actually says-people seem to use it to mean they have problem with their mental health.

Most of us do not have problems with our mental health but, as part of being human, we sometimes feel miserable, unhappy, upset or blue. It's part of life but , for most of us, they are passing feelings or a reaction to a temporary situation. It's not a medical situation.

I disagree with this and think that it is very dismissive and minimises mental health.
To describe it as “the blues” is insulting frankly.

Depressed or disregulated mental health is powerful and is not just feeling miserable or fed up, and I suspect there are millions of people out there living with undiagnosed conditions.

Temporary stresses turn into long term damage and can take years to overcome or are never overcome for eg grief, that is not a temporary feeling of the blues.
Loss of a job, financial problems, health issues, chronic health conditions childhood trauma are not temporary blues.
Maybe you have chosen the wrong words but this 1940’s view was damaging then and is not appropriate nowadays.

Thomas - I think mrsFlint means that feelings of depression are often responses to difficult situations, as are your examples. Feeling stressed about financial issues problems for example, is not a mental health condition. If the financial stress is lifted the person will feel better - it’s not a medical problem. Depression, medical depression, happens when there aren’t any particular causes and it’s awful (I’m a child of someone who suffered periods of depression despite an otherwise nice life). I think it’s slightly insulting, and definitely unhelpful, when people lump normal emotional responses in with actual mental health conditions.

Steady on. It was a genuine question.

I wondered why she had to stay in a situation that was so damaging to her mentally.

My mum was volatile and emotionally immature. My dad was passive and my sibling unpleasant. I grew up in a very critical environment. I sometimes have to consciously not act like my mother.

I think nature over nurture.

I had a stable childhood. Mum and dad together. No obvious traumas. Had everything I needed. Yet I was always incredibly shy and unconfident and this has been consistent through my life. I was diagnosed with depression and anxiety at 18.

Resilience and adaptivity to change. Good self esteem. Ability to relax and self care. Past trauma can create a framework to manage future trauma.

Interesting the discussions on here; particularly thinking of posts from @NotMeNoNo, @Sandysandyfeet @MargaretThursday and @ThomasShelbysfagend

I'm currently going through an unexpectedly hard situation - think loss of home type stuff - on top of many years of stress through being a carer and divorce. Very little support. But this latest problem with accommodation has broken me and I feel awful. So even though I know this is due to the situation, should I be looking to antidepressants? I'd always thought whenever I've felt down etc it's reactive - something bad has happened, I get upset, I deal with it as well as I can. My parents died young, 2 best friends died, things like that have changed the way I process stuff. But if I can't cope anymore does that finally mean medication will help? After all, it's not going to resolve my housing worries!

Medication manages the symptoms of depression/anxietg, not the causes or circumstances. So yes, it could absolutely help by giving you an uplift in mood and an easier time regulating your nervous system, making it more possible to keep your head above water in difficult circumstances.

I’m all for taking whatever support is available when the shit hits the fan. I’m so sorry you’re going through such a tough time. ❤️