Why do you think people have good mental health ?

[GreenYodaFace]

My dh has very good mental health. I do not unfortunately. I sometimes wonder why !
Is it nature or nurture?
His dad was a very stable person and so is his mum?

I think it’s society, some people struggle to function in society and some people don’t. I have great MH at the moment as a sahm but that will change when I have to go back to work and deal with the stresses of life outside the home again.

I actually think you need resilience for good mental health & that often goes with a bit of hardship &/or trauma.

Nurture, being taught to build resilience

I think it’s a lot to do with personality and nature. I had a pretty traumatic childhood but as an adult I am very calm and balanced. I would say my mental health is really good and I have a positive outlook on life. I’m not immune to stress etc but takes a lot to stress me or bring my mood down. I supposed my childhood has made me very resilient and self sufficient which perhaps has helped me in a round about way

Security, human connection, family with positive mental health, an understanding that life isn’t fair, not dwelling on the negative and a big dollop of luck

This is a big factor yeah.

I think it comes down to managing your mental health in the same way you manage physical health. Everyone knows if you eat badly, smoke and don't exercise then your physical health won't be great. It's the same with mental health it needs to be proactively managed. Through discipline rather than willpower.

There has to be an element of luck. Me and my siblings all raised in the same home. Incredibly happy and privileged childhood. But I have appalling MH and they don’t.

It's a lot easier to have good mental health if you don't have to manage the consequences of poverty: enough money, food, house space, travel etc.

Positive stable relationships also help.

Not having or being effective at managing stress.

Genetics are definitely a factor, too.

Nurture
Also having an uncontrollably anxious mother ensured this anxiousness spread through out the house

Because of her anxiousness she could also be really bitchy at times

I think it's nature. Adult child and i have debated this often. We are both blessed with robust mental health, for which we are greatful.

We've both had times in our lives where that could have gone either way, but we've been lucky, those bad times have not won.

Sometimes I feel a bit "pollyana" on here. But I truly do always see the up side of situations (I nearly broke into a version of "always look on the bright side of life" there, but refrained 😀.)

I think to some extent, I've always found life a tad funny and odd. Why should I, no-one in particular be here at 74, when others, much better than me, are gone? No reason at all, as far as I can tell.

Resilience and positivity
I've had childhood trauma...lost a twin
Had extremely stressful ( or most people would think so ) jobs, carried mental load during marriage, exdh left as he finally decided he was gay when kids were teens, dsd has severe enduring eating disorder and I'm her main carer...

But I am positive, love my life, see good in pretty much most things.

My mother is cynically miserable
My dB is anxiety ridden..

But despite this I honestly think I just at an early age decided to " get on with it"

Nowadays far to much ruminating and looking for something or someone to " fix" the shitty things in life ..when really life can be shitty but pull up your socks , find some joy in some things, go to work, do stuff for other people and stop bloody dwelling on what you feel isn't right or fair ...
I also agree...eat sensibly, exercise, go to work ...all helps

I think nurture is huge, as you say, stable parenting is such an important element. But it's not a guarantee.

Sounds like me and my partner.

For me I think it’s a mix of nature and nurture. I think some of our personalities and traits could encourage poor mental health - in my case it’s traits such as overthinking, overanalysing and being introverted.

My partner is introverted too and loves his own space but when he is annoyed with something he gets it out there and forgets about it. He genuinely forgets as when I raise it he shrugs it off. He loves to sort out issues as they arise, whereas I tend to fester on things for a while until it drives me crazy. He is also so optimistic - he has gone through a lot over the past year but is so positive - whilst my outlook on life is more realistic and boarderline pessimistic.

I work hard to be positive and just live - as opposed to being in my head alot but it’s hard.

So I feel you OP. I think one can learn how to take care of their mental health but it takes a lot of self awareness and discipline - at least for me it does anyway.

There is definitely at least some physical component. Any serious surgery can affect MH. When I had brain surgery or treatment I was told it was one of the higher likelihood outcomes compared to other types of surgery. Bad luck i have not had stable MH since it. The treatments that work are anti depressants that also help with epilepsy

I need more resilience though and don’t think I developed it in childhood. At the moment I’m low just because I’m talking to
a lot of people through work that are distressed. I don’t manage to empathise and help and move on. Which means I can’t work after even basic calls

I’m not sure about this theory. What about the (many) Holocaust survivors who have shown incredible mental fortitude and positivity all through their lives? And others who have suffered unspeakable trauma?

I think there is a genetic element to mental health — if your parent suffered from depression you are more likely to. But then again this could be learned behaviour from childhood.

I also think physical health has more to it than we think, especially hormones and gut health.

Plus — and this is unpopular — anxiety and depression can be downward spirals of thinking habits. That’s why CBT and similar are often effective. You have to change the way you think and build beliefs and patterns.

I had a difficult childhood and a couple of traumatic experiences and I’ve had several prolonged periods of poor mental health.

Then I tackled my thinking patterns and challenged my beliefs and now my mental health has never been better.

So to a certain extent it’s a choice.

Hormones

Secure attachment style

Diet & lifestyle

Luck and blessings

Social cognitive profile (personality)

1. the genes you inherit from your parents. There is a much bigger genetic component to personality traits than most people recognise.
2. the conditions in the womb as you developed: was your mother stressed? Poorly nourished? Abusing drugs or alcohol? Fearful / unhappy / in physical danger? Injured in any way?
3. Your birth: was it dangerous, were you injured in any way? Was your mother available to you throughout and able to be with you straight after? Was there any trauma?
4. the first 3 years of your life. Were you subject to stress, fear, abuse? Were you properly nourished and cared for? Were you with your mother and other trusted caregivers? Were you and to form strong, reliable attachments to people who loved you and protected you? Were you allowed to explore while bring kept safe?

so nature and nurture. and a huge amount of luck.

Being loved, praised and being around positive people. But also bad things happening gave me resilience as a child which means I can block bad things out really well. So a mixture really

Great question.

I think daily habits come into it.

Research on longevity and well-being found a community that took a daily glass of wine scored really high.
I think it was the culture of making time everyday for yourself, without guilt, to relax, catch up with friends, have your community etc was as good for you as whatever is in the wine.

Eat crap food, don't exercise, smoke, binge drink - you won't be at peak health.

What are the mental health equivalents? The good habits... Manage stress, spend time doing what you love and relaxes you, have connection with loved ones/loved pets....

Nurture for sure.

My DH has good mental health. His parents are very kooky but they’ve always been supportive of him.

My parents are, in many ways, more sane than my in-laws, but my mother is very critical, competitive and negative, so I’ve suffered a lot with shit mental health.

Yes agree with Holocaust survivors, so many were very positive people and so grateful for life, didn’t sweat the small stuff any more.
It really does depend on brain chemistry and how you deal with it.
I’ve been through many losses and with each one I am straight away trying to find silver linings, my brain just does it. And then blocks out bad memories while still appreciating the lessons those bad things taught me. I wish I could share this ability with others

Nurture mainly but some MH issues can have a genetic element such as schizoaffective disorders.

Agree with this. Yes, we know childhood trauma or adverse experiences significantly impact MH, but outside of that I think it’s down to disposition and temperament.

That’s so weird, I’ve had loads of bad stuff happen to me. Put it in a box, don’t think/dwell on crap. I love my life!