Why do you think people have good mental health ?

[GreenYodaFace]

My dh has very good mental health. I do not unfortunately. I sometimes wonder why !
Is it nature or nurture?
His dad was a very stable person and so is his mum?

It is a fairly predictable combination nature and nurture. The role of nature (ie history of MH or ND) means that there is an increased chance that you will also exhibit similar.
Nuture

1. you become more resilient through your own experiences of parental MH (good or bad but possibly you become more resilient with bad as you learn from your lived experiences and may know how to access services and openly discuss MH/ND before they become severe.
2. nuture (lack of through MH) might result in you and your own DC having poor MH and the total sum
3. Education, support and opportunities that are available to you via parents based on your own parents experience of MH may prevent/limit your poor MH to manageable
4. poor parental and ND, insufficient support for family, families amd own MH /ND not recognised or supported = generations of poor MH
5. no known family history or experience of MH/ND and so your needs are slow to be recognised and acted upon, limited parental experience of how to access sevices or forsee what might happen without support
6. Money. Sadly those who can pay are able to access gps (with more than 7 minutes to spare per appointment and who will dig deeper to consider your needs and challenges), therapists and medication immediately. Those who cannot end up on long waiting lists but only after they are so very poorly that they are allowed onto a waiting list and considered in need of support , making it difficult to undo the damage done (e.g loss of employment, relationships, education).

I don't know. My husband has very poor mental health and it is very hard for us to live with.
I have had some difficult experiences, but genuinely wake up every morning grateful for what I have, and looking forward to something.
We had similar upbringing, on the face of it.
I have been heartbroken and lonely, and more, but I'm not sure I have never felt truly depressed or anxious. I think I just doncare what others think of me very much.

I’m not sure but probably a bit of both. The same way some people are predisposed to cancer or genetic disorders, mental health is a chemical imbalance after all isn’t it? But also lifestyle factors play a huge part. I’m not so sure about childhood traumas - sure it wouldn’t help but also I have friends who had the most loving, privileged upbringing and still struggle massively with their mental health.

I think it can be learnt behaviour too. My mum is a very anxious person and I definitely grew up watching her anxiety and some of it rubbed off on me. But I’ve also experienced periods of mental illness (particularly anxiety) that have no obvious cause. Lately I’m finding it crops up at certain times in my cycle. So really…who knows?

In order

1. Resilience and attitude
2. Nurture
3. Nature
4. General well-being

It's hard to have 1) if you don't have 2) and 3) I agree, but it is possible.

Nurture really plays a very small part in anyone’s development, as most studies ever done have shown. We like to think we can shape our children but that’s real not true. Of course extreme experiences can throw our trajectory off course, but other than that we will be as we were always designed to be via our genetic makeup.

So to answer the OP’s question. You had a genetic predisposition to poorer mental health. Maybe ruminating more etc. Doesn’t mean it isn’t possible to learn different strategies the more naturally robust do without thinking

i think nature has also got be a big influence. I think some of us are just wired in a way that makes us susceptible to poor mental health to some degree. In the same way some people are neurodivergent- it doesn’t matter what environment or upbringing they have they will still be neurodivergent.

But, unlike neurodivergence, nurture and life circumstances can also play a role. We

I think nuture has alot to do with it. I had a happy childhood and my DH didn't. The way he will react or interpret something is completely different to how I do. I feel really concerned with all the anxious parents or ones with poor mental health on here. Anxious parents create anxious children, so those kids have no chance

Nurture , ie, if you’re scared of dogs, chances are your kids will be as they’ve learnt this behaviour from you.

Resilience - they deal with matters, or don’t let things bother them, or they simply accept things which others may be bothered about.

Not medicalising issues - One person may accept that they may feel lonely initially if they move to a new town, whilst someone else may interpret thus as depression.

Expection - eg. A child predicted all A*s at a-level, and then ‘only’ get As, may feel they’ve failed, whilst they haven’t.

Sorry for your loss.

Can you explain further as I'm interested. You only need to look at children from deprived families to see most won't be successful, it's very hard to have hopes and dreams and be ambitious when you don't see that around you. Equally very privileged children might not do well in life. But generally speaking your environment and experiences seem to make a huge difference.

Genetics, luck, upbringing, circumstances, biological and social factors ... all of it. It is far too simple to say it's nature or nurture. It's a combination and the interaction of everything.

My husband has a SMI. He had a decent upbringing. He does everything he can to improve his mental health, engages in all treatment etc, challenges thinking patterns and everything you can think of. He couldn't do more, but here we are and he will always be mentally unwell. In my husband's case, nurture alone does not explain it, not even close.

The studies around what may cause or contribute towards developing schizophrenia are very interesting. There is clearly not a simple answer.

I had a difficult childhood with a lot of trauma and also experienced trauma and shitty things happening in adulthood as well. I have certainly had times where my mental health has been awful, but nothing compared to my husband's poor mental health.

I’m sure there are a whole myriad of reasons but from my own experience I think a lot of it comes down to resilience.

I was brought up in an environment where confidence and resilience were seen as essential traits to try and develop. That resulted in me being ready to go through life knowing that pretty much whatever happened I’d be able to manage and get through it.

From both a family and professional perspective I spend time with a lot of similarly minded people and as such don’t really know anyone who claims to have MH issues. I’m sure there are some who aren’t 100% but had it not been so well advertised in the media and online I’m not sure if even know it was a widespread issue.

Personality is a good indicator. Many of us have had the same upbringing but our future selves are dictated by our peers,intelligence,self esteem and health.

Primarily having a stable upbringing with secure attachment figures who model healthy emotional regulation and relationships. Also a childhood free of things like war, domestic violence, etc, anything that puts us in a state of vigilance and floods us with cortisol basically. I think our early years are the most significant in forming how we relate to ourselves and the world around us.

Otherwise in adult life I think very important factors can be seen in the bottom of the pyramid in Maslow's Hierarchy of Needs, such as having our physiological needs met (food, water, shelter, etc), then family/connection/social ability etc.

Genetics also play a part. Some psychotic illnesses have genetic components.

And then finally things like if you're NT, disabled, being an ethnic minority in your country, LGBT, etc. These groups are all at higher risk of mental illness.

Primarily having a stable upbringing with secure attachment figures who model healthy emotional regulation and relationships. Also a childhood free of things like war, domestic violence, etc, anything that puts us in a state of vigilance and floods us with cortisol basically. I think our early years are the most significant in forming how we relate to ourselves and the world around us.

Otherwise in adult life I think very important factors can be seen in the bottom of the pyramid in Maslow's Hierarchy of Needs, such as having our physiological needs met (food, water, shelter, etc), then family/connection/social ability etc.

Genetics also play a part. Some psychotic illnesses have genetic components.

And then finally things like if you're NT, disabled, being an ethnic minority in your country, LGBT, etc. These groups are all at higher risk of mental illness.

I had a birth mother with recurrent mental illness, was prem, fostered and adopted. Had a physical medical condition, was an hugely anxious child and early teen, experienced repeat SA as a child and many times as a teen. Had an adopted parent who was a drunk and who had a breakdown. Had a teen pregnancy, lost the baby to the care system and had quite a hedonistic time. By 19 I had a levels and was at uni and have never skipped a beat since. Boringly and relatively successfully professional, lovely friends, great family, happy children and interests in gardening and cycling. Have never experienced any mental health issues since about 16. Objectively this surprises me. Have had plenty of challenges in life, losses of friends, some health issues and for a time a child who was unwell but while appropriately sad or worried I have never been unwell. I can’t work out what it says about nature or nurture but my birth family continue to have members with problems ranging from depression to psychosis and schizophrenia.

Well, in my case:
Therapy
Venlafaxine
Mirtazapine
Levothyroxine
PIP award
HRT
Summer

So, as you can see, I don't have good mental health all by myself! It's still a bit shaky, tbh, and I could use some more therapy but I've had my lot. My childhood was quite high in ACEs, which has a proven association with poor mental health and negative life outcomes. But then, my dad, the source of most of these events, was probably not fantastically healthy in the mental department so who knows how much of it is genetic?

People are really interesting. I'll never stop being fascinated by the way we all live in the same world yet have totally different personal experiences of it.

@Dancer777, I'm as resilient as hell! I can only suppose I'd be even madder if I weren't. Or dead, I guess ...

This. 100%

Things fade extremely quickly from my brain.

I was sharing a series of events that had happened to me with someone who had similar experiences the other day.
This person became extremely upset, gripping my arm asking me how I carried on breathing, putting one foot in front of another after surviving such trauma. ( she asked about my experience btw)

I rarely think about it.

I consider other traumatic events that I have lived through to be much much worse and way more impactful in terms of almost unsurvivable.
But again it’s only occasional triggers that make me think of them.

Im pretty much unfazed by it all. I carry on and appreciate life.

Genetics, luck, and a good-enough upbringing.

I mean for me, I don't see as resilience as linked to success necessarily? Any triumph against adversity might show resilience. I admire people who can take positives from situations, have rewarding interactions and empathise with others, whether or not they achieve any actual 'success'.

Also I agree with some PPs that things seem to fade quickly away from my brain! Or at least the related emotions do. I don't know, it's hard to articulate to be honest.

Nurture really plays a very small part in anyone’s development, as most studies ever done have shown

You're wrong, in fact the opposite is true.

They are rich / don’t need to work full time or for much money.

My brother used to ask why I had good mental health and he had very poor mental health. We both grew up in an abusive household. He killed himself 4 years ago. I can only perhaps say in my case it was nature not nurture.

I am so sorry for your loss.