Messy situation - pregnant with wfb's baby

[Namechanged140525]

Very tricky situation, I am neither of these people, but I'm trying to help as much as I can but don't know what advice to give. I am friends with Sarah and know of Joe.

Let's call the woman Sarah and the man Joe.

Sarah is a British citizen, she is 45 years oldand has four children, 20, almost 18, 13, and 10 (two eldest and two youngest have different fathers)

Sarah divorced her first husband after he became a drug addict, her second husband suddenly passed away. A year or two later she met a 20 year old man, Joe (now 24), non-British (this is relevant for the story) on a dating app. They dated for a couple of years but decided to break up as Joe's parents are very religious and wouldn't accept Sarah.
Sarah and Joe remain best friends and have casual sex.
A while later, Joe announces that since his student visa's expired, he has to move back to his home country (all his family including parents and siblings still live in the UK).
Sarah offers to go to his home country and the two youngest kids to visit.
Sarah falls in love with the country despite not speaking the language and decides to move there a few months later with her two youngest children.

Joe and Sarah are still casual, he sometimes sleep over at hers, he doesn't have a permanent address and airbnb hops, but she stays at his from time to time too. Joe gets along with the children and even accompanied them and Sarah on the kids' first day of school.

Sarah unexpectedly gets pregnant. Joe asks her not to tell his parents and suggests an abortion, Sarah wants to keep the baby and tells his parents, in the hope that they will make him see some sense.
The whole family blocks her and Joe ghosts her, move out from his airbnb, and is nowhere to be found.

Sarah is a (smallish) social media influencer.
She calls him out and publicly posts his name and socials.

Joe is unaware of it and shared all his details including his phone number on said socials.
He doesn't want to be a father, he is now engaged to a girl his age as his parents disapprove of the age gap.
Joe and Sarah live in a religious country where having children out of wedlock is a crime.

What would you do?
Also, would you let Joe know?
Sarah refuses to take down his details

Sarah is being a massive fool and was extremely reckless to move her children to this country.

I'd advise her to move back to her home country sharpish. She's old enough to know better.

He's been a prick and really is not worth her time. She has children to consider and needs to be more sensible than this.

She doesn't want to move back. She says costs of living in the UK is a lot highet and she basically escaped poverty. She is also adamant he is not the reason why she moved.

I am scared about what her not being a citizen of his country means in terms of custody for the unborn baby. She doesn't have any actual right to reside in the country either, she leaves the borders and re-enters every few months.

Sarah is going to get herself in a whole heap of trouble.

if it’s the religion I think it is then depending on the country and how much they actually enforce these provisions the male will get away with it and she will be in a whole heap of shit.

she seems to have literally posted on social media she has committed a crime (again, if it is the religion I think it is then extra marital sex is itself generally considered a crime).

she should at a minimum take down the post and ideally leave the country which she clearly has no understanding of the culture of it.

She sounds absolutely nuts! What was she thinking, taking her children to that country? What were they both thinking, not protecting her from getting pregnant? It's obvious his family wouldn't want to have anything to do with her - she's crazy to think they would. She hasn't done one thing that's right.

She spoke to a lawyer and apparently since she is not a citizen of that country, she can't get arrested.

Sarah is ridiculous and she is putting her children in danger. Moving them abroad for a casual shag is one of the most selfish things I’ve read on here. The age gap is also gross tbh

Sarah is an absolute fool and she clearly doesn’t care about her children’s wellbeing

British citizens are regularly arrested in many many other countries. If you are physically there you are subject to their laws.

the British embassy will sometimes try to help you out if you haven’t been a total muppet.

Eg this case where an 18 year old British boy had sex with a 17 year old in Dubai and is now in jail there.

https://www.bbc.co.uk/news/articles/czr32zmyz6ro.amp

She thinks they are safer there. She said that gang culture and violence in UK schools was the determining factor in her decision. She uses newspaper headlines as evidence to back up the fact that the UK is unsafe.

The kids do seem happy there, but I worry they will resent her when they are older

Is Sarah in the emirates? Please tell her to return home. She is clearly waiting for Joe to change his mind and is hanging around for him. Once that child is born his family will pressure him to take the baby and cut her out.

Thank you! I will forward this to her

You can get arrested anywhere if you break the county’s laws, unless she is a diplomat and can claim immunity. If she is where I think, She will end up in prison with a very long sentence.Her children are at risk. Ask her to make you their legal guardian if she is not able to care for them. She is being extremely foolish

That's my worry exactly! I am scared Joe's mum will want to play mum to the baby and Sarah ends up losing him/her.

When I mentioned it to her she laughed in my face and said this wasn't Iran (in reference to the movie Never without my daughter).

No she isn't in the Emirates

She’s definitely an idiot but Joe aside, if she’s not there legally then what are the kids doing for school, and how is she going to deal with healthcare during her pregnancy? It really doesn’t sound as if she’s thought any of this through.

The kids go to a British private school, the school didn't ask for their residency permit.

She also goes private for healthcare.

Sounds odd but she is definitely there yes? Not just pretending to be? Honestly, she sounds unhinged. Poor children.

That's possibly the silliest legal opinion I have ever heard.

Is it ok to murder someone in the country because she isn't a citizen, or steal something or break any other law? Of course not. How will she feel when they kick her out of that country without her baby?

She thinks she can't get arrested because she's not a citizen? Wth? There's literally a news story on the BBC front page today about a British teen arrested in Georgia.

That’s very unlikely to be true

Sorry OP but this makes no sense to me. Sarah has enough money to regularly fly backwards and forwards to the uk from this country and pay for private schools and healthcare there, but not enough to live safely and comfortably in the uk? And she can arrange accommodation and schooling without legal residency? Please explain.

Sarah is irresponsible and selfish. She acts more like 15 than a mature woman with a family. She needs to grow up and get a grip. Probably better if Joe's mum adopts the baby as Sarah isn't even capable of behaving in a remotely sensible way.

I don't think that you can do anything, and I don't think that you can contact Joe.

What I would do is make sure that the kids have your contact details; that they have access to their own passports (eg if they're in a safe they know the combination etc) and that you have enough money / credit or whatever to be able to get them home in an emergency.

I agree.

None of this adds up at all.

If this is real then she sounds monumentally stupid.

I think this is one of those situations where you need to find as many case studies / articles as you can of this going wrong and make her see light. I wonder if the consulate can signpost you. Or women’s aid…

Depends where she is I suppose. Her UK wage could translate in to millions in some places.