Active discussions

Meet the Other Phone. Flexible and made to last.

Meet the Other Phone.
Flexible and made to last.

Buy now

Please or to access all these features

Talk
Chat

Join the discussion and chat with other Mumsnetters about everyday life, relationships and parenting.

Original poster

Random Man, Stupid Comment

161 replies

CrickityCrickets · 11/05/2025 20:30

Bit of background: I've been struggling with disordered eating and calorie restriction for the last few months. I'm on the waiting list to be assessed by the doctors etc.

Today I had a moment of rationality and decided to go to Costa and have a hot chocolate and a slice of cake. Random Man in the queue next to me decided that it was his place to comment on my cake and said 'OOOh naughty but nice!'.

FFS.

OP posts:
blubbyblub · 12/05/2025 19:04

Fairyliz · 12/05/2025 15:37

I learnt this on a MN thread a few years ago and was very pleased when I remembered it last year:-
‘Did I ask for your opinion random man?’
The man I said it to gulped like a goldfish and wandered off.

That would be an extraordinarily rude and frankly bizarre comment to make to someone simply making chit chat. The gulping was probably wondering why the person was so weird and if they had a disorder off some sort

blubbyblub · 12/05/2025 19:06

Kardamyli2 · 12/05/2025 14:08

Aggressive? Seems a reach, but I guess if you don't mind random men making personal comments you'd think that. I take your word about the advert, though I don't recall ever seeing it.

Show quote history

I don’t mind random people making idle chit chat no. That used to be why we had community. People seem to wish for a world where no one engaged in any sort of interaction without pre consent and permission. It’s like some sort of dystopian future

TatteredAndTorn · 12/05/2025 19:08

Sunshineandgrapefruit · 12/05/2025 07:46

It's a normal comment. We shouldn't police language. I can see how it would upset you given your history op but that's not his problem and he probably just liked you/ was being friendly.

This. Exactly. It was a very normal comment and nothing to do with him being a man. He was trying to be friendly and EDs are probably not anywhere near his radar. I have a number of anxiety disorders including BDD so I get that normal things and normal comments can be triggering but that’s the fault of your disorder, not the normal thing or comment or person making them. People shouldn’t have to police their language just in case someone has a disorder and it might upset them.

SanFairyAnnie · 12/05/2025 19:10

"Naughty but nice " was a well known advertising slogan-thought up by Fay Weldon I think.
maybe this bloke was remembering this.

Atreus101 · 12/05/2025 19:14

I think he was just making what he thought was a joke. Well done for having a cake and hot chocolate though. I’ve been there with an eating disorder 💐

MammaTo · 12/05/2025 19:21

I don’t think it was a bad comment at all.

NattyTurtle59 · 12/05/2025 22:25

thecatneuterer · 12/05/2025 13:59

Not that different. It's a normal, friendly comment.

Show quote history

Sorry, I probably should have said "many on MN" as so many comments on this thread demonstrate.

NattyTurtle59 · 12/05/2025 22:33

Fairyliz · 12/05/2025 16:12

But a bit of conversation would be ‘ooh that cake looks nice, I think I will have one’; not a judgement that a woman is being ‘naughty’.
It smacks of all women should be keeping an eye on their diet, don’t want to get too fat for the men.
Sorry @OurManyEnds Im not getting at you, but once you start listening how man feel that they can police women’s behaviour you can’t not hear it.

Show quote history

Oh for crying out loud ........

A sense of humour seems to be very lacking in some people these days. Do you get some sort of pleasure from making life so difficult for yourself? Have you nothing more worthwhile to do than look for the hidden meaning of everything a person man says?

HMBB · 12/05/2025 23:00

Isn’t it just a reference to the old cream cake advert ‘naughty but nice’?
I would not get upset about this.

Havent rtft

Totallymessed · 12/05/2025 23:58

Fairyliz · 12/05/2025 16:12

But a bit of conversation would be ‘ooh that cake looks nice, I think I will have one’; not a judgement that a woman is being ‘naughty’.
It smacks of all women should be keeping an eye on their diet, don’t want to get too fat for the men.
Sorry @OurManyEnds Im not getting at you, but once you start listening how man feel that they can police women’s behaviour you can’t not hear it.

Show quote history

I'm extremely aware of everyday misogyny, but good god, not every random comment from a man is a sign of the grinding boot of the patriarchy 🙄Sounds like a man of a certain age (mine), just making a friendly, maybe silly comment.

Are people ever going to start relaxing a bit, or is the knee jerk, immediate taking of offence going to be a permanent thing now? I'm seriously bored of it.

Musclewoman · 16/05/2025 07:40

BunnyLake · 12/05/2025 13:50

Sometimes when I’ve been offered cake at a friend’s I’ll say ‘ooh naughty but nice’. It’s one of those ad catchphrases that have stuck through the years. Maybe you have to be a certain age to get the reference and not take offence. I’d have laughed and agreed but I don’t have food issues, but I can understand that someone else might.

Show quote history

Well you can't make your issues everyone else's issues and go around getting offended at every little thing.

New posts on this thread. Refresh page