Random Man, Stupid Comment

[CrickityCrickets]

Bit of background: I've been struggling with disordered eating and calorie restriction for the last few months. I'm on the waiting list to be assessed by the doctors etc.

Today I had a moment of rationality and decided to go to Costa and have a hot chocolate and a slice of cake. Random Man in the queue next to me decided that it was his place to comment on my cake and said 'OOOh naughty but nice!'.

FFS.

Oh go on, live a little.

I expect they'd sense it from quite a distance.

I think it’s only on MN though. I don’t know anyone in real life who doesn’t have a well developed sense of humour (well maybe my ex, his humour’s a bit cringe and awkward).

I learnt this on a MN thread a few years ago and was very pleased when I remembered it last year:-
‘Did I ask for your opinion random man?’
The man I said it to gulped like a goldfish and wandered off.

This. It has got to the stage people can't have a friendly conversation anymore. Everyone is constantly triggered. It is really exhausting.

But like…why?? The guy was just making a wee bit of conversation. It blows my mind that people can be so rude, just because - god forbid - a man - speaks to them.

I doubt they’d say it if the guy was drop dead gorgeous.

Ok then

Doesn't change what I thought personally though

Maybe it’s certain generations.

This.

This wouldn’t bother me.

You really are grasping at straws.

But a bit of conversation would be ‘ooh that cake looks nice, I think I will have one’; not a judgement that a woman is being ‘naughty’.
It smacks of all women should be keeping an eye on their diet, don’t want to get too fat for the men.
Sorry @OurManyEnds Im not getting at you, but once you start listening how man feel that they can police women’s behaviour you can’t not hear it.

I agree. And for those going on about it being an advertising slogan from the 1980s, yes I know. And I thought it was pretty cringey even as a kid. And it's definitely cringey now.

You’re talking about telling people to “p off” and “f off” when they dare to simply speak to you! That’s pretty much the definition of ‘aggressive’ in most peoples’ books. You mention men a lot; I’m curious, would you react this way if a woman spoke to you or made a passing joke? Besides anything, you don’t know what type of day a person has had. In this case, for example, they could have just lost their mother who used to love that cake slogan… okay, imaginative, but you just never know!

But @Fairylizin the advert that the man was quoting it's the cream cake that is both naughty and nice. No judgement is made upon the person eating.

I don’t understand what he said wrong? Sounds like he was just making conversation or trying to make you smile? My god you can’t say anything these days

But it’s a well known catch phrase and not referring to the act being naughty but rather the cake being naughty (a treat) but nice! Why does everyone overthink things and take offence these days 🤦‍♀️

I'm a man. I once treated myself to some kind of mocha choca whipped cream frattapino things. The woman at the next table smiled, amused, and commented. We then had a really nice conversation. It was great.

Nah @FairylizIm in my late 40s and work in the car industry. Trust me when I say I know what a prick sounds like and how to respond.

This wasn’t that, it was a completely banal pleasantry, and the subsequent ‘I’d have told him to fuck off’ posts are just ridiculous embarrassing hyperbole.

Jesus Christ. How on earth do people live being constantly offended by innocent comments?

How do you all get through the day when you have to see misogyny and derision in everything.

It was just a bloody comment.

Maybe if people unwound a bit we wouldn’t have so many claiming that they’re struggling with their mental health.

Rubbish

Yep!!

Random man would be unlikely to have a single thought about women and their relationship with food. This is a stretch. Honestly.
I asked my dh and my 2 adult ds. They said they don’t really talk to people in queues so wouldn’t be in this position but that they had no idea what people were talking about with regards to pass ag or some woman and her food issues any more than they would think of anything if someone said ‘yeah I could do with a cuppa’ if they saw someone making a cup of tea

The woman isn’t naughty ffs. The cake is. The cake is a naughty but nice treat.