Do all babies learn how to eat anyway?

[bananasinabowl]

I have decided to do Traditional weaning as the fear of my child choking is too much. She had a tongue tie when she was a baby so feeding issues have been with me since the beginning. I really wanted to do BLW but now the time has come, I have chickened out. She always sticking out her tongue or trying to lick something etc but I just can’t imagine her knowing how to chew.

I did a first aid course last week and nope, that didn’t make me any less anxious. Probably made me worse to be honest knowing hard you have to give back slaps to a baby if they are choking. I just can’t imagine doing it. I’d freak and cry.

So therefore I have started her on purées this week. I am not sure when to change textures etc but I am hoping I can follow her lead.

When are they able to eat what I eat comfortably? Everyone eats eventually right?

It really isn’t.

What you’re talking about is finger food. Or self-feeding.

That's gagging.

Choking is silent and very dangerous, you should always act immediately for that.

Laughing at the BLW not being a thing until v recently. My daughter is 20 next month and was weaned using baby led weaning. My oldest I did the whole puree thing but to be brutally honest by the time his sister was born 2 years later I didn't have the time to faff with different "baby food" and the kids ate what we ate. Even with traditional puree weaning mums were encouraged to give children soldiers of toast or other finger food and this is just an extension of that.

DD did choke at about 18 months old, not because of baby led weaning but because she shoved a too large piece of watermelon in her mouth before I could stop her. You do go into autopilot and react, a few slaps on her back and it shot back out again. You also quicky recognise the difference between choking and gagging.

The whole idea of purees is very modern, for centuries babies were weaned on lumpy, family foods.

We started on purées and then gradually added in more lumpy stuff along with those melty sticks to hold and gnaw on.
Then moved onto things like a whole strawberry and let LO gnaw on that for a bit, anything we ate we’d give LO a bit to try if it was suitable.
Honestly, don’t sweat it too much. They’ll all get there in the end.

Barring disability, yes they do all learn to eat.

In any case it absolutely does not matter if you choose BLW or purees. Do whatever makes you feel the most comfortable. I think it's quite natural to follow their lead - you wouldn't force her, would you? So you will be following her lead Don't overthink it!

Do you mean if they gag? That’s very different to choking

Do what you feel comfortable with ... then weaning will be stress free which is the aim.
I have every sympathy with your feelings.

I am a grandma and have been heart in mouth watching some of my very small gc tackle food that I consider a choking hazard. I zipped my lip and held my breath! I fed my own children purees and soft melt in the mouth foods. They are now mums and are git as fleas ... they moved onto more grown up food in their own good time.

A lot if these things are just fashions/ fads ... they come and go.

I used this and it was great. No problems with either dc.

Honestly I was worried too and mostly did purées. The solid starts app is excellent to build confidence tho, just a bit at a time

I would do whatever you're comfortable with. But would say, if you're anxious, try and not show it! Like you, I'm petrified of choking! I started off with purees and very slowly introduced lumpier food/strips of toast/pancake etc when DC was about 8 months. And my confidence grew then as I saw how well DC was doing. DC is 2 now and absolutely fine!! Although I still worry about choking!

Don’t stress about it.
My twins are now 5. I started on puréed vegetables (parsnip, carrot, butternut squash, turnip etc) and puréed fruit (pear, apple etc). They quickly moved onto lumpier food (eg bits of chicken shredded into their parsnip purée).
By 7-8 months, they were eating full meals - spaghetti bolognese, roast chicken and mashed potato, lamb and sweet potato stew, etc.

Joe Wicks’s book “Wean in 15” was great. Lots of delicious recipes that I still make now.

For us, weaning was no issue. The twins would have a plate of, for example, roast salmon, peas, sweetcorn, pasta and pesto and just pick up each bit themselves. For saucier food like bolognese, I spoon-fed them.
Now, aged 5, they eat pretty much everything.

That's not what is advised at all

The problem with BLW is that you can’t give baby small pieces of (say) cucumber, as it’s clearly a choking hazard. So instead, you give them a finger of cucumber (toast, omelette, mango, whatever), and what do they do? Gnaw off… a small piece! Which is now a choking hazard in their mouth! No one has ever been able to explain why that’s okay!

Sorry cucumber is a chocking hazard now ? It was a first weaning food here.....

Because they have managed to bite it and it will be irregular shaped and rounded. It’s not ‘unexpected’ in their mouth and they have control of the item (tongue muscle engaged).

BLW is great for some I’m sure. However it wasn’t a ‘thing’ until a couple of decades ago and I’m fairly sure everyone managed to wean their babies quite well for centuries before that.

Do what suits you and your baby. You’ll both be fine.

I expect ‘baby eats what we eat’ or goes hungry was the old way. That’s what we did, but I mushed it a bit for a while. My kids eat pretty adventurously.

I can remember being terrified of DS choking. He ate purees really easily. Then he went out with his DGF at 6 months and shared a plate. He loved eating at the table and soon picked it up. He always had Weetabix for breakfast that was mashed in milk and then a dippy egg with toast soldiers which really improved his co ordination even though sometimes he didn't eat much egg. He would also watch other DC eat.

It's just about steady progress.

I honestly didn’t overthink it or follow any method (probably did without realising). Like you I was really nervous about choking but started on purées and then added in finger foods when comfortable.
Just started with really soft finger food, avacado, bananas and boiled carrot type stuff then moved on as he got more teeth.

Now 21 months, he eats well and no real difference to my friends BLW babies. I’m sure your little one will be fine!

I have a very strong fear of choking too so I get where you're coming from but you have to remember it is still unlikely, and instincts will kick in if they do start choking - you probably won't even have time to panic or cry before you start giving back blows, the crying will come later. But its still not likely to happen - gagging yes, that will happen, but actual choking is unlikely (but important to remain vigilant and not leave them eating by themselves when they're small)

I have two children, the first I did BLW with because that was all the rage 14 years ago. It honestly went fine, she never choked, I barely recall her even gagging. With my youngest I learnt more about allergy prevention so I didn't wait until 6 months to do BLW but instead started with purees at 4 months to reduce the risks of him developing allergies (especially as he was higher risk as his dad is allergic to nuts) and that went fine too. Started with pureed green vegetables, then adding in the major allergens and pretty soon I was just mushing up with a fork whatever we were eating and it was so much easier than BLW because I didn't have to pick foods that were easy to self feed so was easier to get a wider variety of foods in him, especially iron rich foods which is important as he was breastfed. I also introduced herbs and spices early, unlike with DD (bit harder to put spice on a cucumber stick I suppose!) before 5 months I think.

And he is the better eater than his big sister, far less fussy.

BLW was all the rage when I had mine, I read the book, believed in the philosophy, but found it a complete pain in the arse. Don’t over think it, how many people do you know who don’t feed themselves? Just try something each meal time, you’ll likely go for a mix of mushed up food and food they can grab themselves.

I've weans 3 dc when the advice was different each time.
#1 Advice was purees on the dot of 4 months. The HV nearly cried when I said I hadn't yet stated when she was 1 week over (and still gaining weight). Apparently she'd never learn to chew...

#2 Advice was purees somewhere between 4 and 6 months. Dd2 knew better though and adamantly refused all solids until about 9/10 months when big sister put a chocolate button in her mouth. A week later she leant over and took a lick of my ice cream. After that she thought she might have some solids. Only thing she ate well for ages was tinned sweet corn though.

#3 Advice was not before 6 months or they will die from obesity/allergies/anything else. I spent a certain amount of time reassuring first time mums that the population would have died out if that was the case! I didn't wean him at 6 months because that was just before Christmas and we were going away, so that made it easier. About 7 months we were at a café and he leant over and grabbed a piece of toast, so I thought we might as well start.

All are adults. All eat fine, as do their peers. And the one with health issues/allergies is #3.

My fil was handed over to adoptive parents at 6 weeks fully weaned. He eats fine too as long as he didn't cook and has managed to survive so far to 80yo without any allergies or dying from obesity.

Don't worry. Do what you want to do and they'll be fine.

If they do choke, you'll probably find you naturally do just turn them over and bang their back, it's actually fairly automatic reaction. Most of the time a little choke resolves itself if you wait a moment. You can bang fairly hard, babies are far more robust than they feel, but make sure their neck is supported.

You're setting your child up to have a phobia of food!
She'll sense that you're scared and worried and she'll be the same!
BTW more babies choke on puréed food than do by BLW - but it's your child!

Majority of Italians do not do BLW, my daughter was not interested in food do I followed the Italian paediatrician way, did my son pure with vegetables (loads of them) meat (rotating different types including lamb), fish (again loads of types), bought everything top quality, steak cooked, puree it, parmisan, olive oil, slowly adding couscous, small pasta, and slowly growing the size of pasta. I would also pure fruit. At 10 months she went to nursery, they tried small pieces of veg or fruit, but she refused it, despite all the other kids having it, so they puree it for her. slowly started having solid food at 16 months… and went from there. She is 10 now, she east EVERYTHING, even tried snails in France this weekend (did not particularly like them but she ate 4!). Loads of my friends who were judging me for the purées now have fussy kids who eat nothing! So really it is about variety, have a good healthy diet as a family and then it all will work out!