Do all babies learn how to eat anyway?

[bananasinabowl]

I have decided to do Traditional weaning as the fear of my child choking is too much. She had a tongue tie when she was a baby so feeding issues have been with me since the beginning. I really wanted to do BLW but now the time has come, I have chickened out. She always sticking out her tongue or trying to lick something etc but I just can’t imagine her knowing how to chew.

I did a first aid course last week and nope, that didn’t make me any less anxious. Probably made me worse to be honest knowing hard you have to give back slaps to a baby if they are choking. I just can’t imagine doing it. I’d freak and cry.

So therefore I have started her on purées this week. I am not sure when to change textures etc but I am hoping I can follow her lead.

When are they able to eat what I eat comfortably? Everyone eats eventually right?

You can also choke on purees (or aspirate), and that would be much harder to get out imo than a lump of something.

I'm sure you know this, but there is a difference between choking and gagging. Don't panic if a baby gags, that's just them figuring it out.

We basically did BLW. (We gave pieces of veg, fruit then bread, meat etc but spoon fed runny foods e.g eggs, weetabix). Mine never gagged or choked. I personally think it's good to introduce a range of textures early, otherwise I think it is more surprising for the baby and they have to keep figuring out the new texture.

My DS wasn't overly interested in food until he was 1. I don't think he actually liked chewing with his gums. As soon as he had more teeth he was away. I felt terrible as everything I read on Mumsnet about weaning was 7 month olds enthusiastically chewing chicken drumsticks. But we got there in the end!

Start with puree you can then move in to lumpier textures and offer finger food things like banana lengthways ( if you press it naturally splits into 3 long segments) her heavily boiled carrots baby sweetcorn etc
Then things like dried cheerio hoops etc

This is incorrect!!

I think you're confusing choking with gagging, @SchrodingersTwat2 Gagging they will clear themselves. Choking they will need help.

@bananasinabowl knowing hard you have to give back slaps to a baby if they are choking. I just can’t imagine doing it. I’d freak and cry. But if it comes to it, you don't think, you just do. You freak later after it's resolved when the adrenaline in you stops and you realise what happened and what you managed to do.

I have weaned 2 children now, the eldest choked aged 4 by shovelling in biscuits and taking too big a bite. My point is choking can happen to anyone at any age.

Just to reiterate what a pp said upthread BLW offers protection against choking as babies learn to map their mouth and develop those muscles. You want them to learn to chew and swallow food, you don't want them to swallow whole food and skip the learning to chew. Starting with puree is fine but don't hold back introducing finger foods or whole foods.

I work with a child who is 4 and will not tolerate any lumpy stuff. He lives off pureed food and petit filous (and I suspect significant amounts of formula milk). I think his mum had a lot to do with where he's at right now.

So, no, eating solid food, biting, chewing doesn't 'just happen' for all children.

Your child will gag. This is NOT choking. It needs to happen to get used to solids.

Do you mean if they gag? Gagging yes, they'll certainly gag more than us as they figure out eating. If they're gagging don't flap, they're usually fine just keep an eye.

However choking is different, it's a medical emergency and you need to intervene asap.

Gagging and choking are different.

OP I was also terrified of weaning as I lost a family member to choking. It is always in the back of my mind even when I eat myself. But it is thankfully pretty rare and babies weaning are very good at learning how to eat. I found that baby eating what we were, all sitting round the table together so we were keeping a close eye, was the best way to do it. They learn an awful lot from observing you eat too 😊

Give food before milk so child is hungry and motivated to try. Talk positively about food e.g. don't say 'I don't think you like that' if they screw up their face

Great advice. More like, that’s a new flavour, was that a surprise, how great is that!!! Next time you’ll know because you are so great at trying things

… or similar hyped up praise!

My kids were allowed the podium of doom. Top 3 things they didn’t want. You couldn’t stop me making it, but you could leave the dish/offending ingredient after one mouthful. Now the list is ‘hot spice’, ham in a sandwich, mushroom risotto. Ham and mushrooms feature in other dishes.

You have had some food advice, bit I'll add one thing from our experience. If youe child is stubborn, you may not get a choice on how you wean them!

We wanted to do purees to gently start the process, but DD has other ideas. Hated them, and hated being fed. Instead, she decided to steal food from our plates.

In order to make life easier, we ended up going with it (though we were also terrified of choking). Probably just as well- a few weeks after, covid shortages and lockdown started, and it made life so much easier to serve the same thing for all!

Getting baby milk was hard enough during that period. Having to source additional stuff for purees would have been even more problematic! (Luckily, she was fascinated by food, so it worked for her, and she isn't a fussy one now)

Even now, at 5, we have a 'try one bite' rule. It's ok if you try it and don't like it, but you need to try it as exposure to different things is good.

It’s also not a thing in many countries around the world.

Also, don't be alarmed by the contents of tjeie nappy after eating banana for the first time. It can look weird. I had to text a friend with several kids to ask whether it was something to worry about!

This is a great image to know the difference between gagging and choking. Save it to your phone and try to be familiar with the difference. It's been around for years but is still relevant.

I recommend talking to your health visitor.
Like a PP said, purées alongside soft finger foods (eg very boiled carrots) moving to lumpier purée & a wider range of finger foods. When I was making puree I would give the puree carrot but a couple of cooked carrots too ie just leave a couple out before blending.
Whilst a child will eat something, many children have very narrow diets.

Well ok - I hadn't heard of it! He's a year older than your DD though.

https://www.bbc.co.uk/future/article/20230728-baby-led-weaning-what-are-the-risks-and-benefits

Some intersting stuff here.

I think you mean if they gag.

If they choke - which means there is no sound coming out of them as the food is blocking their airway and they cannot breathe - you'd better lie the baby along your arm and whack them on the back to try and dislodge it...

DT’s are mid 20’s. I’d never heard of blw and wouldn’t have been something I’d have wanted to do anyway.
We used jars and pouches - started on the six month range which we spoon fed them. They grew up liking everything and anything. Never had fussy eaters.

You do occasionally see stories on here of people who have been afraid of weaning and put it off and that does cause problems down the line.

But yes, given the chance to try new things babies will get it eventually (and entirely at their own pace)!

We started with purées and baby wasn’t too fussed, he seemed more interested when offered real food. His personality has always been “I can do it myself” So he always refused attempts to be spoon fed. That made it slower in some ways, but by the time he started nursery at one he was much better at feeding himself than his peers.

I’d also be wary of too many melty snacks, there’s been some news recently that babies/toddlers are not learning to chew properly and becoming adverse to proper foods.

It does seem terrifying at first but you’ll be amazed by how quickly baby does get it. Good luck x

My Children are late 20s to early 30s. They learned to eat fine we did wean slightly early back then but mine were prem so I waited to nearer 6 months, but did purees etc, I understand BLW I also worked with babies and toddlers but you don't have to do it if you don't want, don't be afraid of gagging though that is normal.

With my first child I was the same as you so we did puree weaning. He moved onto proper solids around one and now eats perfectly fine.

Second child would not tolerate purees so rapidly became a baby led weaning girl (despite my fear!). She’s just turning one now and has done really well with it. Despite only having two teeth she can eat so many things! Far pickier than her brother at this stage though 🤷🏻‍♀️

I have 3 boys, youngest had a v severe tongue tie. Only once have I had to slap a back like I meant it and that was a bit of cocktail sausage. (And he wasn’t truly choking)

at a certain age, kids put everything in their mouth and, in my view, they’re better off if they’ve got an idea what to do with it.

my second child introduced himself to solid food by swiping a chip off my plate and shoving it in his mouth! Perhaps that’s the extreme end of baby led weaning 🤣

I did BLW with both my children. Looking back, it was perfect for DS1. His personality is one where he likes to feel he has autonomy. Leaving out a small selection of food and letting him pick what he liked the look of worked brilliantly. He was happy being in charge of his own destiny😆 DS2 was a different story. There was very little interest from him. I did briefly try purée in case this might be more successful, but it made no difference. His diet has always been very restricted, despite huge effort and plenty of choice. He has other issues affecting his diet now, but that’s another story.

I never had any issues with them choking. Just gagging a bit. Children gag on purées too. Both my DC were still being breastfed, so I was happy they were having their nutritional needs met (and obviously formula fed babies are similarly catered for) and didn’t panic too much when most of the broccoli and carrots ended up on the floor! I found it all good fun, more so with my eldest, but generally it was an interesting and enjoyable stage in their lives.

Correct.

BLW is NO purees…by definition, there is no ‘mix’ of purees and BLW. It’s a mix of purées and finger food instead.

BLW can be purees too, it's more about letting baby feed themselves rather than you feed them. So this can be loading a spoon of puree and letting baby feed themselves.