Do all babies learn how to eat anyway?

[bananasinabowl]

I have decided to do Traditional weaning as the fear of my child choking is too much. She had a tongue tie when she was a baby so feeding issues have been with me since the beginning. I really wanted to do BLW but now the time has come, I have chickened out. She always sticking out her tongue or trying to lick something etc but I just can’t imagine her knowing how to chew.

I did a first aid course last week and nope, that didn’t make me any less anxious. Probably made me worse to be honest knowing hard you have to give back slaps to a baby if they are choking. I just can’t imagine doing it. I’d freak and cry.

So therefore I have started her on purées this week. I am not sure when to change textures etc but I am hoping I can follow her lead.

When are they able to eat what I eat comfortably? Everyone eats eventually right?

i was also told they are more likely to choke on something non food. Eg a burst balloon bit (hard to dislodge). So long as you’re following guidelines (solid start app is useful to get an idea!) it’s unlikely they’ll have a serious problem that can’t be solved with back blows (fwiw I have 2 children and neither have ever choked on anything - gagged a few times)

Weaning can be very scary and daunting. I've weaned 5 of my own the first was 26 years ago so guidelines were very different to 10 years ago when weaning my youngest.
I did purees with the eldest and followed the recommendation on the jars/tins and books when making my own so we graduated to lumpier food. It was so time consuming for me having to cook then blend and then spoon feed. So when I did blw with my younger children I preferred it as I just gave them a selection of foods and sat with them eating my own food. It meant I could eat and they could join the rest of us at the table without anyone having to spoon feed them.
Baby led doesn't have to be so scary, soft foods to begin with and as baby become more confident you can swap to more trickier foods to eat.

The Solid Starts app is brilliant for showing you how to safely prepare foods.
But in reality I am not sure blw is everything. I did homemade purees and then built up but very slowly. My wee boy is 4 and can chomp away on a burger now. Just do what you feel comfortable with.

Yes OP, unless your child has certain additional needs, all babies will learn to feed themselves. Feeding fashions will come and go, but human beings need food so they will learn how to eat. They’ll also sleep all night. And if you’re lucky they’ll eventually put sun cream on voluntarily!!

Use whatever method suits you best. It all evens out in the end.

I’m reading a book at the moment about the important of face shape for health, and one of the most important things it talks about is chewing in babies.

Babies and children who eat tough foods and need to chew and tug foods regularly with their mouths end up with fully developed maxilla, which means they’re likely to have bigger, clearer airways in future life and straighter teeth in etc, which helps prevent health conditions in adulthood and later life.

It might be a bit tin-hat, but it is quite a compelling take on how modern life is damaging to long term health.

All of that to say, I would be encouraging chewing as soon as your baby seems interested.

Watch the most recent panorama on baby purées. The short answer is no. Without some food and on purées only, a baby won’t learn to eat.

Hopefully this has been done, but incase it's been lost amongst the busy school year have parents of those children been spoken to for consent for referrals?
At 4-5 there shouldn't be issues chewing and it needs further investigation. Make sure its not ignored just because there's a higher amount than usual normalising it in your school this year.

DT’s - now in their mid 20’s were weaned on purées (pouches and jars). Amazingly they have grown up able to eat everything and anything. No fussy eaters.

@Sjh15 are you saying that all the kids brought up on purées, who are now adults, haven’t learned to eat? Because I could have sworn I ate a meal earlier today, proper solid food, needed a knife and fork and everything.

DD1 was with her GM five days a week whilst I worked and GM was of the boil it for two hours and then pureé it to death because otherwise a baby will choke and die opinion. Didn't find out until years later when I was trying to get her to eat more than a tiny scrap of perfectly smooth things that she'd choked three times on pureed banana because it turned into a perfect, sticky glue compared to being able to cough a piece of it out or chew it small enough to swallow in smaller quantities and had therefore not been given any solid food whilst there for four years. As an adult, DD1 still only nibbles at little scraps of anything that isn't soft as she's still uncomfortable with chewing. Her speech was absolutely atrocious as well, because she wasn't getting the practice of using her lips, tongue and teeth to eat three times a day.

DD2, however, was with me and then a childminder. She was grabbing at any undefended plate from 4 months, practising fine motor control at picking bits up, smashing broccoli, pinging peas across the room and fighting for both spoons and anything she could pick up and developed dexterity from putting food in with her left hand, chewing and then a spoon of softer but textured food for her, one for the dog (splat) and one for the cat at every opportunity. And my goodness, did that child learn to talk quickly. I'm sure it was largely with the intent of arguing with her sister, but she went from clear as a bell 'Mama' at nine months to clear as a bell 'No, <sister's name> - you smell' in a blink of an eye.

You know what the signs are of choking, you know how to deal with it if it happens - you've had the training, which means that you, like most parents, will not freeze and cry, you'll instantly pick your LO up and go slap-slap-slap until whatever it is clears. That's why the training is so useful - it enables you to override the 'What do I do? What do I do?/I can't possibly hit my baby, I just can't' in favour of the far more useful 'Choking-whack' instinct.

There's no nice way to say this - even if you had to break every rib (which you won't, it's more like striking a drum or a box with a flat hand to make a resounding noise than it is something trying to hurt), it would be better than watching your baby die in front of you. So it might not be 'nice' to need to do it, but once instinct and training takes over, it's not traumatic for either of you.

But surely parents are starting their babies on purées and then moving on to lumpier mixes and finger foods when they are a bit older? 25 years ago my DC started at 4 months on apple puree and baby rice. By the time they started nursery at 7 months they were on lumpier meals and finger foods which seems to be where they start off nowadays.

This is the BEST advice! Exactly how I managed things. OP please believe me you will be fine! My eldest gagged a lot on things (look up the difference between gagging and choking) but my second never did.

Yes, my elder DC is 24 and what you describe corresponds to the advice that I was given by the health visitors at the time. We were advised to start weaning with a little bit of baby rice mixed with baby milk. If people are suggesting that starting babies off on purées will mean that they don't learn to eat, that is manifestly nonsense! Any of my DS's generation whose parents followed the standard health visitor advice at the time will have had purée type food as their first "solid" food. Of course they then moved on to lumpier foods and finger foods. I can't remember at what age that was.

I never did complete blw, for a few reasons. I was a little bit worried about choking but also I’m a big ocd and not good with mess (my own issue). But I did try and get a many textures in as I could. Personally I avoided the pouches mainly because they don’t taste like real food and they get used to that, they are also almost too easy for them to eat. He pretty much are what ever we were having (I always ate at the same time to set an example and to make it almost social). I did try easy to swallow food first like scrambled egg, pasta etc. But I would also add and this may have just been my child but I think because I didn’t do blw it took a long time for him to feed himself I’d almost made a rod for my own back there. Re choking, if they do it just instinct to know what to do!!

I loved BLW it was like magic for me. Just put some bits on DS' tray and he'd find a way I found it endlessly cute and quite fascinating. I don't know if there's evidence for any particular outcomes when they're older I just think its easy at the time.

He had amazing fine motor skills as a toddler which I like to (possibly erroneously!) put down to the amount of time he spent picking up peas and posting them into his mouth. I know this sounds boasty but please let me have this - everything else he was behind (walking, talking, jumping etc.) but the wee man could stack blocks and use scissors like a total pro.

I did BLW. So much easier. Gave pouches when out and about. DS just had what we had. Breakfast a big strawberry to suck on. Lunch - made a sandwich and cut into squares. Dinner - whatever we had. Food is for fun and milk is main nutrition until 1. We also ate together and so modelled how to eat. Look at Joe Wicks the Body Coach - he has young baby and just feeds them same as family. Just with a bit less spice. Kids will pick up on your anxiety. Don't try and do solid food when they are starving for milk as it will just make them cross.

Both mine did BLW and spoon feeding, they're 8&3.
Remember a babies gag reflex is higher than an adults so they gag rather thank choke, they're better with finger size food than small pieces...and if anything ever happened you'd not cry, a reaction kicks in...my son pulled tea over himself at 18mths and I just went into strong mum mode that got on with what I needed too

This is what I did with all 4 of my dc and they all progressed perfectly fine and were able to mostly feed themselves between 12 and 15 months. None of them were fussy eaters and they had no problem chewing when they became older.
My 2gc (from different dc) have done blw and it does worry me when they choke. Gd is only 12 months old. She has a good appetite now but I think it took some time before she actually ate anything. I still prefer the traditional method but obviously go along with what my dc want.

The problem is that they bite/tear off finger food into small pieces! It’s crazy…

They chew the bigger bit and bite it instead of putting in a small bit and swallowing.....it's really not crazy

Thank you all for support. I have decided to go through with the traditional weaning approach
She looks tiny in her high chair even with a seat cushion and even though she’s 75th centile in height. She also seems quite wobbly still.
therefore I’ve decided to do the 2 week veg puree (homemade) then mix it up and start doing more finger food when she’s 7 months and start giving what we eat. I’ve bought some self feeding spoons too.
hope for the best.
TikTok isn’t good for me to watch, those meals seem so much hard work.

How did people introduce allergens and in what order?

The order doesn't matter but start them as soon as possible as really they ought to be introduced before 6 months. Do one at a time (for nuts i mixed ground nuts/nut flours into porridge, and later on yoghurt) for the first couple of tastes, then can just keep giving them regularly but don't have to be separate after that.

The order of allergens doesn't matter. I would start introducing them as soon as possible, rather than waiting until 7 months.

These are the allergens to test, and I think the guidance is to wait 24 hours between introducing each one.

Dairy
Eggs
Wheat
Finned fish
Shellfish
Peanuts
Treenuts
Sesame
Soy

Not sure if it will help with ur anxiety but my DS weaned early and by 5.5mo was eating sea food tagliatelle, spaghetti bolognaise, ham sandwiches, basically whatever I was eating and he managed fine and learned to chew very quickly.