Well I've just lost my daughter due to the Supreme Court ruling. s

[Lucelady]

So as not to drip feed she's a Ftm trans person and a universty student.
I've just been called a TERF, JKR supporter and transphobic. We've had four years of peace and understanding with her not wanting any surgery or hormones. She listened to the ruling last week and we chatted it through. The last few days she's been glued to the Internet and her phone. Now it's all changed and her 'friends' have called for action. What that action is I've no idea.
She's stormed out.

We can laugh at such a ridiculous situation. And it is ridiculous. We either laugh, or cry. Some of us choose gallows humour. If being 'different' didn't impact on, and hurt so many people - half the population, it wouldn't be an issue. I bet you wouldn't call a trans person out for laughing and mocking at feminists. And they do so continually.

OP is listed as guardian and the uni can contact her and speak to her because her daughter is disabled. GDPR does not cover that, as permission is granted. Stop accusing people of lying when you don't know the first thing you are talking about.

I just wouldn’t laugh at and mock someone just because they’re different to me. Regardless of views it’s bullying and unnecessary. But it’s showing MN to be the nasty environment it’s always been so carry on.

You underestimate grammar school girls a bit here. I was one and we did not blindly follow authority figures in school. On the surface we may look biddable and well behaved compared to other types of school but we can also be an unforgiving bunch who do not suffer fools gladly. And who are more than happy to question teachers. Sometimes just for fun.

For goodness sake, no one is mocking the PERSON. They are making light of the SITUATION. It's completely different. It's not Mumsnet that is showing up as nasty.

You do you, but making fun of someone’s beliefs isn’t making light of a situation. You’re using your views to belittle someone’s beliefs and lifestyle. Defend it all you like but it’s still bullying.

Her daughter has a DISABILITY hence why the OP is her advocate.

Well that's how it seems to work on this matter. The TRA must be listened to, lauded, agreed with and celebrated for their bravery, stunningness and general amazingness! Their rants and pontificating must be heard unendingly and the platform is theirs for ever. But remember.... no debate, so no-one else is allowed to speak or an opinion, or your using words is literally violence and as the poster above threatens.... you're causing suicide. .
CAPITULATE WITHOUT QUESTION!!!

I work in a university, and the ticked box does not cover the university contacting an adult's parents about the name they use.

Yes, the same applies. There is no context where the university could or would contact the adult student's parents to ask about name choice.

You can live anyway you like. No-one cares.
But the fact of the matter is that people are born male or female. You don’t have to fit into a stereotype of those, you can be any sort of male or female that you like. You can be a male who really dislikes his male body and chooses to change it, but in the eyes of the law you are still a male.
Thats not stopping you from dressing how you like or living how you like. Nobody wishes you harm. Nobody cares, frankly, because everyone is too busy living their own lives and dealing with their own problems.
But the law states that a female is one that is female from birth. As a result, you should not use female-only facilities and spaces.

Perhaps your community should put their efforts into trying to get separate gender-neutral facilities rather than the vitriol and hatred bing aimed at women who just want a safe place to go to the toilet?

Op your daughter is an absolute and unequivocal gem compared with your DS.

Don’t lose her over this

It’s not a breach of GDPR if OP, as she states, has been given permission to speak to them. Like I do. And yes, my DD’s past history of trans identification may come up as will the fact that her birth name was changed by deed poll during secondary school so some of her documents differ. FYI you can only gradate and take exams in your legal name - ie what is on your birth certificate or deed poll and is evidenced by your passport/driving licence etc, so if OP’s DD ‘goes’ by a male name at college (which is fine, anyone can asked to be called/addressed as Fifi Tinkerbell in class if they wish) unless it is also their legal name then their official uni documents will need to align with their legal paperwork. FYI, yes, this has already come up for my DD.

Jesus Christ, what is wrong with these overgrown babies? Why are they so easily groomed? What has university become? Not a place for free thinking, that's for sure.

I honestly think not enough hardship or real life conflict is taking its toll on society and young people are just making up things to kick off about.

Can't imagine how your daughter will react when some middle aged, white solicitor tells her to do something! Or is it only you she disrespects in this way?

Hear hear

I think unisex public toilets are as bad if not worse. There is a row of unisex toilets I recently visited. The cubicles were on one side & sinks on the other. As I was leaving there was a man obviously in a rush & acting like he was entering a male toilet. He unzipped his trousers in full view before actually entering the toilet.He didn't expose himself but I saw what I wish I hadn't been subjected to. I'm not easily shocked although I was definitely disgusted.

You agree then, that the words of 2 people of over 200 (posts in this thread) should be representative of an entire group?

People read the words of 200 people who are serious but that ask questions that the "other side" can't answer about the views they claim to hold, and the words of two people who are flippant and taking the piss, and decide that the logical conclusion is that "everyone on mn" is toxic and taking the piss.

That's the level of debate some people who don't regularly post here try to have. Avoid the actual discussion of views (presumably you think there is some difference between men and women but are too embarrassed to say publicly what you think one difference is) and look for something to call names on.

I don't have a gender identity, same as many trans people. I wouldn't say that makes them different from me.

The thing I criticise is the dishonesty, misogyny and homophobia that underpins gender ideology. The forum is known for that.

If you don't understand it I'm happy to discuss it if you're willing to engage honestly. If you aren't, then just ignore this post or pretend I've said something I haven't.

Loving and protecting your child is helping them to live in the real world, and teaching them that they are not the centre of the universe. They need to understand that other people have views that will not align with theirs, and that that is part of life.

I must have missed the bit in the parenting manual where it says you have to give your child everything they want without question, and subjugate yourself for their benefit. That’s clearly why there are so many entitled, selfish young people at university these days, treating their parents with contempt. No thank you.

I'm not a liar. She uses two names and it was part of a wider discussion.

Am I the only one to find that post from @TooScaredToBeIdentified absolutely chilling? It’s pure cult speak, bearing no relation to reality at all. How are we ever going to address this huge mental health issue in young people, it’s frightening?

The supporters of this ideology are the most humourless people on the planet. They live their lives lecturing women on how to understand something that isn’t real or rational, that is harmful to us, and then scold us when we laugh amongst ourselves. I would tell them to get a life, but they would no doubt consider that to be transphobic, because everything except complete compliance and acceptance of everything they do and say is transphobic apparently.

We truly are living in dystopian times.

So why are you still here? Just to scold women who can see that the emperor has no clothes?

Yes, I know all about legal name on docs at uni, etc.

The fact of the matter is, the uni could not and would not discuss the student's name use with a parent. It would not come up under any of the possible reasons they would have to discuss things with a parent - e.g. permission to discuss disability arrangements, serious mental health concerns.

Do you have adult children? Once they are adults the time for teaching and thinking you're in charge has ended. It is their life and they are entitled to live it as they want.