Well I've just lost my daughter due to the Supreme Court ruling. s

[Lucelady]

So as not to drip feed she's a Ftm trans person and a universty student.
I've just been called a TERF, JKR supporter and transphobic. We've had four years of peace and understanding with her not wanting any surgery or hormones. She listened to the ruling last week and we chatted it through. The last few days she's been glued to the Internet and her phone. Now it's all changed and her 'friends' have called for action. What that action is I've no idea.
She's stormed out.

@arcticpandas shes a natal female who dresses in 'male' clothing but wears cosmetics and jewellery.

She uses a male name at university and with her friends.

She has ticked the parental contact box at university due to a previous safe guarding issue.

On what grounds have they contacted you?
In all honesty, this isn't about the SC ruling or anything like that. She needs help. I don't know how you put up with such awful behaviour, but I think you need to get some support and advice, because this is no way to live.

Yes it does.

My DD is starting in Sept. I have permission to contact the uni and, in fact, have been doing so for several weeks regarding DSA, accommodation, general support etc. Your children chose not to tick the relevant boxes, probably because they felt well enough to be unsupported (fab for both them and you), but many students choose to allow their parents to have access. I am not even alone as I have several friends with children with medical issues, dyslexia etc who all mediate on behalf of and along side their children.

Curiouser and curiouser

It doesn't sound like you've lost her but she's carving out her independent identity?

Surely it is obvious to anyone that the OP is very upset, and understandably so.

... but not managing very well?
Most young adults carve out their identity without being so abusive.

Agreed @CautiousLurker01 .DD is disabled but not ASD.

Disabled students have additional support.

Would a change of therapist work as she seems as confused now as she was when she started out in this journey even though it was quite a while ago

The BI boyfriend may be adding to the confusion

She sounds thoroughly confused and, in my view, very manipulative. Her response doesn’t sound to be much to do with the court ruling.

@MissFenellaPrism yes of course not in an abusive way. Hopefully uni provide good support at present

Do you find that the university support has been effective?

Yes, I hope so, but I was wondering more about charities and support networks?

There might be some truth in this.
I've unexpectedly recovered from a major illness. Had I died she would have had a fair bit of money. However her older brother said tonight she was crying her eyes out when they were operating on me. I am very upset because she's one of the nicest people I know. Not a bitchy bone in her body and usually not one to attack others.

The University have a very prominent TRA on their staff.

The problem is that if you say anything this particular group tries to slam you and then several of them start calling you names, seen it across several media outlets. Just keep trying, even if it's just a 'am thinking of you' hopefully she will talk to you about how she is feeling in time

I'm actually bored by the sheer staggering entitlement of these perpetual stropping toddlers! 'Waahhhh!! How dare you have a different view to me, you evil horrible person!! I am the righteous one!! Now what's for dinner and give me money on top of the free rent and board I get from you in my mid 20s!!'

Nobody in Thailand thinks ladyboys are women, including the ladyboys.

I'm sorry to hear that she said that. It must have been very hurtful. You've obviously had a turbulent time. It can't be easy dealing with this and I genuinely think you're going to have to get a lot more support and advice. Can you access anything for her at the moment?

There is every possibility the “boyfriend” is also a biological female. What I’ve seen is the friend groups can be very complex in terms of identity. When my close relative lesbian uni student tells about her friends it gets complex because the genders, names & attractions are all not obvious. They are very insular group, only socialize with their own/group.

Her sister invites her to join her friends and she never goes along - refuses to be around heterosexuals. Tho happy for sister happy to join the non-binary.

@Whooowhooohoo by BFF is a lesbian so she knows that's not an issue.

However they don't appear to see much of each other.
She doesn't socialise with many heterosexual people so that's a good point.

Unis are cesspits where wrong thinking is preached as gospel. Hence all the trans women are women nonsense, anti-semiticism and justifying 7/10, etc.

You are probably far too nice and have always been with her. She is probably not scared of anyone in your household, all this 'we are friends, our children and us'. It is not too late though - either give her the freedom she craves by showing her the door (and withdrawing all financial support), change the locks and tell her to come back when she is happy to abide by your rules - i.e. no nonsense in your house. How long are you going to take this shit from her? Do you have any other children? Even if you don't, this is no way to live, write her off until she is ready to come back a normal person.

A young family member attended one of the unis mentioned earlier. Her best friend there was a trans man who had a double mastectomy when she was only 20.

The family member's mother expressed her disquiet over this and was told "Mum! You're soooo transphobic!"

If they WERE FTM then they'd use he/him or he/they pronouns and have a male name. You'd also call them your son.

It sounds like you've questioned it but never had a decent answer. Are they perhaps more non-binary or gender fluid? Do they wear binders?

Or is it that you still use she/her/daughter within the family because he's given up trying to get you to use his correct pronouns and name? And you don't call him son?