Well I've just lost my daughter due to the Supreme Court ruling. s

[Lucelady]

So as not to drip feed she's a Ftm trans person and a universty student.
I've just been called a TERF, JKR supporter and transphobic. We've had four years of peace and understanding with her not wanting any surgery or hormones. She listened to the ruling last week and we chatted it through. The last few days she's been glued to the Internet and her phone. Now it's all changed and her 'friends' have called for action. What that action is I've no idea.
She's stormed out.

Honestly on this issue I think we need to look to the East. Thailand have been dealing with it fairly openly for years with minimal upset and Trans is treat as a third gender. Maybe start a conversation asking how it’s dealt with in other countries around the world and what solution works best.

What’s bisexuality got to do with trans?

You haven't lost your daughter to anything, she is being VU. Everyone needs to accept the ruling and move on.

I'm not sure starting to refer to trans women as lady boys is going to help OP much but I'd love to be a fly on the wall if someone suggested this at a DEI meeting 😂

She sounds like a thoroughly confused young woman or someone who likes to create drama around themselves.

It is difficult being a young adult and the world genuinely IS more difficult now than thirty years ago say.
Yes, young adults are often dogmatic and pushing to extremes.
However, one sure fire way of alienating them completely is to be patronising, dismissive, even downright rude as so so many people have been on this thread. Why not start by accepting that they feel what they feel and think what they think and that those feelings and thoughts are valid

Time to pull back a bit OP. At 21 it’s time she learns respect. Yes, she’s upset, but to speak to someone who by the sound of it has been a calm place in her life, hey - not acceptable. Let her be, I’ve a strong feeling she will come to see the stalwart you have been and it sounds, continues to be. Set boundaries over this, let her rant to others.

To speak to you in such a disparaging way is not acceptable.

I find this whole thing confusing. If she’s happy being called she/her and she wants children and she’s happy being called her female name… is she not identifying as a female then? It sounds like she is simply playing being male at uni around the rest of her ‘cult’.
Surely that’s different to a ‘real’ FTM trans person?

She’s experimenting with what’s available nothing to worry about. Don’t try and ‘help her’. It’s a process - youll only slow it down. She will be fine.

My DD has signed permission forms allowing me to liaise with the uni on her behalf (she has ADHD and autism). I don’t plan to abuse the privilege, but I am totally permitted to contact the uni and her tutors as needed.

Sorry if I seem stupid but this is where I get confused. You say your child is ftm but doesn't want to take hormones or have surgery, essentially keeping their body the same. So how do they see themselves as male? My family member is ftm and currently changing their body.

So brainwashed in other words. Guess that could apply to my niece and her support for Farage and Reform, she cannot listen to different views and shouts at her mum when she asks her what their policies are, just keeps saying "Nigel will tell us when he is ready" and "Stop the boats". Her whole personaltiy seems to have changed. She is 21 too, like the OP's daughter,

I' sorry OP but your daughter sounds quite unwell. I would be more worried about that...

Maybe I'm thick but I don't get it. Is your DC a man or a woman? And they want to be a man or a woman? It's really not clear.. Do they understand that they can't change sex? They can pretend to be whatever and some people will play along but basically It's biology.

To me she doesn’t sound trans (ftm) if she still refers to herself as female, wears make up, doesn’t have an issue with ye calling her by her female birth name

Why do you think she is trans, does she want to have bottom and top surgery?

Does her boyfriend go sides himself gay or straight?

@sugarrosepetal my DC wants children.

She did want surgery but I refused to pay for it overseas.

Me too!😄

@Lucelady I can only advise not panicking. Take a step back. Don’t discuss this particular issue and reiterate that you love her unconditionally, even if you disagree on certain issues. The hugs will always be on tap is she needs them.

They do circle back (and away, and back again… it’s like a dance designed to drive you insane), but they need to know you are there regardless where you both stand on this (and other) issues. Make sure she knows the door is always open.

I think I would just let her calm down for a while. She sounds like she is quite immature and a bit performative with her trans identity. It’s absolutely not ok for her to be screaming and shouting in your face in your own home no matter what the subject and that does need addressing when she’s calmed down.

I agree.

University students are all adults and the unis have absolutely no contact with parents.

The boyfriend is bi sexual. I've never met him but others have.

Confused reader here.

Your daughter sounds like a stroppy teen and a spoiled little madam. How dare she be rude to you in your own home! At 21 why is she spending time in her room?

Wearing “male brands” doesn’t make her “male” btw .

A "torrent of abuse" is NOT a teenage rant.
Her behaviour is completely unacceptable. Has she had any kind of counselling? She is obviously a very troubled person. I'm sorry to hear that you're bearing the brunt.

This. How can she be a ftm trans person if she says she's a woman and goes by her female name and is happy with she/her pronouns?

Absolutely. I've had 2 go through university, and this doesn't happen.