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Well I've just lost my daughter due to the Supreme Court ruling. s

671 replies

Lucelady · 21/04/2025 18:52

So as not to drip feed she's a Ftm trans person and a universty student.
I've just been called a TERF, JKR supporter and transphobic. We've had four years of peace and understanding with her not wanting any surgery or hormones. She listened to the ruling last week and we chatted it through. The last few days she's been glued to the Internet and her phone. Now it's all changed and her 'friends' have called for action. What that action is I've no idea.
She's stormed out.

OP posts:
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Lucelady · 23/04/2025 08:43

@Clockface8 yes.

OP posts:
Clockface8 · 23/04/2025 08:44

Lucelady · 23/04/2025 08:43

@Clockface8 yes.

Says it all really

don’t dignify it

smile and nod

CautiousLurker01 · 23/04/2025 08:45

Lucelady · 23/04/2025 08:26

The DD did speak to me last night. Nothing about the SC ruling or the Prime Minister. We had a discussion on her homemade dough balls!

She's back at uni next week but only for a few weeks before recess.

This is/was very par for the course in my house. Deep breaths and enjoy the dough ball moments as they keep them grounded in the knowledge you love them, despite the heated rows. They show that you’ve let the anger/resentment go (no matter how hurtful it was at the time), even if you’ve not changed your mind on the thing you argued about.

You’ll laugh about this one day. Hopefully together, over your DGC’s dirty nappies…

AthWat · 23/04/2025 08:58

Clockface8 · 23/04/2025 08:34

She went from… your OP to this?

Quite the turnaround!

To be fair all the OP actually said was that she had gone out to talk about a protest with her friends.
The title said "I've lost my daughter!" but the actual post said nothing of the sort.

BMW6 · 23/04/2025 09:13

Sounds like you're her whipping boy.

Inapickleiam · 23/04/2025 09:27

Clockface8 · 23/04/2025 06:35

I read these threads and I feel eternally and profoundly grateful that both my teens seem singularly disinterested in all this, and instead much more focussed on… just being a teenager ie studying, sport, friends, socialising, eating!

The same with all the friends.

Blessed relief

Edited

I felt similarly until year 2 of Uni. It was quite a shock.

Lucelady · 23/04/2025 09:29

@AthWat
I did try to change the title but that's still not possible on mumsnet.

On Monday she said she wasn't staying

OP posts:
Lucelady · 23/04/2025 09:30

BMW6 · 23/04/2025 09:13

Sounds like you're her whipping boy.

It does feel like that at times.

OP posts:
wombat15 · 23/04/2025 09:30

FrippEnos · 23/04/2025 04:55

And yet here you and @DeskJotter are,
Putting your view forward with no threats of violence against you and people happy to debate your side of the discussion.

So, I am not convinced that you understand what an echo chamber is.

It's pretty much an echo chamber in most threads relating to trans issues though.

ergosd · 23/04/2025 09:31

wombat15 · 23/04/2025 09:30

It's pretty much an echo chamber in most threads relating to trans issues though.

the truth is louder than fiction …

popefully · 23/04/2025 09:33

I have always assumed a man who felt like a woman hated having male genitals.

Some do, and some others think that being a woman is down to your inner feelings of gender identity and nothing to do with female/male bodies. So a woman could be a male or female person, but with an indefinable characteristic that makes them a woman. (And likewise for men).

That's why clarity is needed, particularly in law and particularly about laws relating to sex.

AthWat · 23/04/2025 09:38

Lucelady · 23/04/2025 09:29

@AthWat
I did try to change the title but that's still not possible on mumsnet.

On Monday she said she wasn't staying

Did she say "I'm not staying here, I'm going out!" or "I'm not staying here, I'm leaving home forever and never seing you again!"?

BigFatLiar · 23/04/2025 10:19

She's a young woman who dresses as a male. She's a transvestite. Same as a man who dresses in 'women's' clothes but doesn't want to be a woman and isn't doing it 'theatrically' like Barry Humphries or Dick Emery.

She's probably getting lots of confusing messages about labels for her sexuality/behaviour. I'd just try and be there for her as her mum. Ignore the labels.you

Cerulean67 · 23/04/2025 10:31

BigFatLiar · 23/04/2025 10:19

She's a young woman who dresses as a male. She's a transvestite. Same as a man who dresses in 'women's' clothes but doesn't want to be a woman and isn't doing it 'theatrically' like Barry Humphries or Dick Emery.

She's probably getting lots of confusing messages about labels for her sexuality/behaviour. I'd just try and be there for her as her mum. Ignore the labels.you

Ignore the labels? You just labelled her yourself.

MostlyGhostly · 23/04/2025 11:55

A young woman was in tears at a work meeting yesterday over the ruling. There’s a lot of hyperbole about at the moment

Clockface8 · 23/04/2025 13:28

Inapickleiam · 23/04/2025 09:27

I felt similarly until year 2 of Uni. It was quite a shock.

Prior to this had your son not given the slightest indication re his sexuality, views on this issue, preferences?

Inapickleiam · 23/04/2025 14:08

Clockface8 · 23/04/2025 13:28

Prior to this had your son not given the slightest indication re his sexuality, views on this issue, preferences?

Nope. He hadn't had a GF, or BF, just a close knit gang of lads he mainly played (shoot 'em up style) computer games with. Went to a single sex school and the final couple of year were during COVID so didn't develop socially as much as 'normal' I think.
He was quite liberal minded, verging on communism. I am still surprised he is gay, had no inkling. Just a regular, simple, straightforward, academic young man. I still think he's great, just with this significant difference of opinion!

Clockface8 · 23/04/2025 14:10

Inapickleiam · 23/04/2025 14:08

Nope. He hadn't had a GF, or BF, just a close knit gang of lads he mainly played (shoot 'em up style) computer games with. Went to a single sex school and the final couple of year were during COVID so didn't develop socially as much as 'normal' I think.
He was quite liberal minded, verging on communism. I am still surprised he is gay, had no inkling. Just a regular, simple, straightforward, academic young man. I still think he's great, just with this significant difference of opinion!

Out of interest has be always given the impression he was heterosexual?

Clockface8 · 23/04/2025 14:10

Inapickleiam · 23/04/2025 14:08

Nope. He hadn't had a GF, or BF, just a close knit gang of lads he mainly played (shoot 'em up style) computer games with. Went to a single sex school and the final couple of year were during COVID so didn't develop socially as much as 'normal' I think.
He was quite liberal minded, verging on communism. I am still surprised he is gay, had no inkling. Just a regular, simple, straightforward, academic young man. I still think he's great, just with this significant difference of opinion!

And NT?

Inapickleiam · 23/04/2025 14:23

He had never given any impression about sexuality at all, either way.
ND - interesting question, no diagnosis or consideration of assessment, however, yes, he does have some ASD traits.

Bloozie · 23/04/2025 14:46

ergosd · 23/04/2025 09:31

the truth is louder than fiction …

Mumsnet is an echo chamber on trans issues. Whether it's the truth or not has nothing to do with it, and also I'm not saying there's anything wrong with like-minded women coming together around a purpose they believe in. But the strength of feeling doesn't represent the general public's views.

popefully · 23/04/2025 15:05

It's pretty much an echo chamber in most threads relating to trans issues though.

I've been on here years. What happens is:
Most people broadly agree that sex is what makes you a man/woman, and what you are like as a person/soul/your brain/ is not relevant to classifying you as a man or woman.

Many disagree on the details of what the consequences of this should be.

Others disagree with the first point and come here to call names- when they are asked for clarification about what they claim to believe they ignore the question and won't engage, because their aim is not to communicate a sincerely held point of view.

If you disagree then feel free to have an honest discussion, but even on recent threads people still ignore any questions that would give insight into their position (such as "what do you consider a difference between men and woman?" which I ask because I don't understand what people mean when they say man/woman when it's not their sex) or pretend they were asked a different question.

Many on here have been asking pro-genderists and trans visitors for years for an account of what their actual views are - ever since trans changed from meaning "wanting to be the opposite sex" to "literally being X gender". A few posters have been courteous enough to do so but it's surprisingly few - it's often linguistic gymnastics.
And sometimes it's just inarticulate people who haven't really understood what they're criticising, but that's a given for all online forums...

In fact many people who say they are not gender-critical soon discover they broadly agree that sex is real and sometimes it matters. They've been told it means something else.

ergosd · 23/04/2025 15:08

Bloozie · 23/04/2025 14:46

Mumsnet is an echo chamber on trans issues. Whether it's the truth or not has nothing to do with it, and also I'm not saying there's anything wrong with like-minded women coming together around a purpose they believe in. But the strength of feeling doesn't represent the general public's views.

on this subject it does though.
Wake up. Look around. The overwhelming majority of people are GC.
A large minority of screaming activists wave flags asking for terfs to be decapitated and raped. They’re seen as raving loons though. They’ve shown time and time again that they have no intelligent points to make. They were brainwashed by lobby groups to think lobby groupthink is British law and to think that #no debate.
Well, time’s up.

pookie999 · 23/04/2025 15:40

FrippEnos · 21/04/2025 21:22

Dogsasleep

"Their mental health has taken a massive hit since the ruling"

Have they been able to say why?

Because nothing much has changed.

It's like Brexit....just brings all the nasty shitty people out of the back of the cupboard to shout their anti trans rhetoric....the ruling has given them permission to be anti trans, just like Brexit brought out the real racism that lay underneath the thin skin. It doesn't need to be a big change, it's opened the floodgates to anti trans abuse

CautiousLurker01 · 23/04/2025 15:41

ergosd · 23/04/2025 15:08

on this subject it does though.
Wake up. Look around. The overwhelming majority of people are GC.
A large minority of screaming activists wave flags asking for terfs to be decapitated and raped. They’re seen as raving loons though. They’ve shown time and time again that they have no intelligent points to make. They were brainwashed by lobby groups to think lobby groupthink is British law and to think that #no debate.
Well, time’s up.

Edited

Indeed. the latest You Gov polls on this issue (4th in a series since 2018) shows public support has shifted significantly in favour of GC positions with each poll. It’s across both sexes and pretty much all age groups, so not just bigoted 50yo women expressing dismay. This last poll was taken in Dec 2024.

yougov.co.uk/politics/articles/51545-where-does-the-british-public-stand-on-transgender-rights-in-202425

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