Well I've just lost my daughter due to the Supreme Court ruling. s

[Lucelady]

So as not to drip feed she's a Ftm trans person and a universty student.
I've just been called a TERF, JKR supporter and transphobic. We've had four years of peace and understanding with her not wanting any surgery or hormones. She listened to the ruling last week and we chatted it through. The last few days she's been glued to the Internet and her phone. Now it's all changed and her 'friends' have called for action. What that action is I've no idea.
She's stormed out.

Calling you hateful names is not OK.
She's acting like a brat who didn't get her own way.
This kind of behaviour from these activists is despicable.
Leave her to stew and do not back down.

If she's used those names against you, I can only imagine you were unsupportive and agreed with the ruling?

Just as she shouldn't call you names, you also have no right to dismiss her wants and needs in life.

I am really sorry to hear this.

Concerned that "universities are extremely captured"...I work at a university, they are seriously wrongly portrayed in the media...

You: this is an echo-chamber
Me: what are we missing?
You: …
You: I’m out.

Let her get on with it. It's not your fault and she's got to learn that in life we don't always get our own way. It sounds like you've been walking on eggshells for years. Don't put up with the bullying.

@MustWeDoThis my position is that third spaces are needed.

I don't want transpeople to be attacked or feel unsafe. Why would I?
New public buildings have unisex spaces it's retailers who don't want to adjust.
The Primark in Birmingham has a choice of changing rooms, mixed, male, female & cubicles over five floors.

We live ruraly so I don't see the mixed changing rooms, my DD doesn't use single sex spaces.

Can someone link the news story please? I have a trans child and missed this

May I ask although this has being going on for many years to the point of having to save her life (so sorry you both went through this) do you think there is a possibility it was & still is a phase given all the confusion placed on young people nowadays?

I feel they have enough to cope with as they enter puberty without being encouraged & influenced by people in authority to question their identity. If your daughter as you mentioned wants children it sounds like there could be a chance she will come out of the other end accepting & feeling good about her original identity. Time will tell & I wish her well.

It seems to me that God had the right idea.. just male & female.. however did we get into this mess? I don't wish to upset anyone, I guess I'm old & don't understand, but aren't lot of these kids pretty mixed up to begin with?

Or maybe she lost her daughter because she is all the things her daughter called her?

I have trans friends in their 60's- it's not just 'these kids' that are trans. God clearly had an 'idea' to mess things up a bit for some people. I cant recommend enough educating yourself before you make statements like this.

Stop telling women to “educate” themselves into believing people can change sex.

I also know several older trans people who transitioned years ago. They did so without a big fuss , just got accepted by everyone no problem. Not one of them threatened any women or called them terfs or threatened to rape them. They didn't cancel or get anyone sacked for not agreeing with them. I still see them now living happily with their partners ,working going to the pub living normal lives.

@HerNeighbourTotoro I'm none of the things my daughter called me.
She changes her dialogue like the weather.
I've been supporting trans rights for decades. I have employed two TW in my career. We have an open household and all her friends are welcome.

I know my daughter and she has had lots of issues including SA and bullying. She's vulnerable and easily influenced.
My only confession to not being there for her when she first announced her ftm, my father had recently tragically died.
She has many friends and a father and older brother living at home. She has never attacked them.

I’m so confused….so your daughter, who was born biologically female, wants children and is still known by her given birth name (female I’m presuming) and who has a boyfriend, is playing at being ‘male’ at Uni by wearing men’s clothes……have I missed something?!
I think I’d just reply with ‘yes dear’, ‘okay dear’, ‘whatever makes you happy dear’….

I totally understand your worries. It’s not easy for us parents. I just think you’ve had four good years and I know you don’t want to throw that away so please ignore the posters who would love you to escalate the situation for vicarious drama. It’s just one row. If sh still wants to talk, I’d be inclined to say that I was sorry she felt threatened and that’s the last thing you want. Find any point of connection. If she wants children that’s a good sign and I’m sure you’d like to be in contact with her and any future grandchildren. Fingers crossed!

My husband, her father does just that.

Her older brother being the son who scammed you out of money? (Scammed being your word)

the older brother who point blank refuses to contribute anything to the family home despite earning more than you?

And? What’s her response to your husband?Her father

Sounds like he's got the right idea.

Nothing.

So there we have it op

I can’t fathom why this hasn’t been your response to her

Just “yeah ok. Right, who fancies a stir fry for dinner tonight?”

Because it's their truth.

OP. I feel your pain. My dd changed her name when she started uni, she’s now 21 and due to leave soon. I have tried so hard not to make a huge issue out of her gender, I try hard to call her by her chosen name but I can call her ‘he’ because she’s not very masculine at all and is still my daughter. I have to listen to her talk about testosterone and how some of her friends are starting it, this Easter she’s gone into great detail about what it will do to her body and I have to just sit back and listen? Because she’s an adult and I have no say. All I hope for is that when she returns home she changes her mind, but sadly I don’t think it will happen.