A thread for those who don’t have friends in real life.

[Showmethefood]

Hi everyone,

I don’t know how to start this thread, so we’ll just go with being plain honest! I’m in my 30s and I don’t have any friends in real life! Of course I have acquaintances/people I can chat to if at certain events - but no real life friends 🙈

It’s really hard to feel accepted for who you are sometimes, and so many of us have to alter our personalities to try and fit into the work environment (or even to fit in with our families). So, I wanted to start a thread for all those who don’t have friends in real life. A place where people can come and leave updates on how their day has gone, how they are feeling, what their interests and hobbies are, and just have a good chat!

So, a little about me:
Im married and have a teenager.
I have a gorgeous cocker spaniel.
Ive almost (one year left) completed my degree in psychology and counselling.
I have just written my first children’s book and am currently in the process of self publishing it.
Im starting a new job in a school this Friday.

Please feel free to join and let’s keep this thread a safe place where we can (hopefully) begin to make some friends and not feel so alone. ❤️

@Littletreefrog I’ve definitely been there! This time, however, I think I’m going to struggle and will need to spend time cutting the words down. I love the question we’re debating, but trying to make sure you back up every point is hard work, and I detest all the referencing 😱

I loved psychology even though I only got as far as doing an A level at an evening class years ago, doing the referencing is tedious even though I understand why it needs to be done.
@MoneyBall1 sorry to hear you lost your social network after becoming ill, it does seem to be a common theme friends drifting away when things get tough

I have a group of school friends who are scattered around the world. We chat on the group chat when it’s someone’s birthday etc but can’t remember when we all saw each other last. I had 2 very close friends at work. We were a tight group for about 8 years but then I got promoted to be their boss. I hoped it wouldn’t change things but it did. They started socialising without me and I’m not going to lie it hurt a lot. I spend a lot of time on my own. My husband works shifts and my son studies abroad. I’ve ended up getting a second job in the evenings just to try and keep busy. I thought I was doing ok but my boss asked me the other day if I was lonely. Once I thought about it I realised that I really was and it actually really surprised me.

Hi @Katieweasel welcome. Thanks for posting. I had the recognition of loneliness not long ago too and it surprised me. I’ve always thought I liked my own company and was happy on my own, and to an extent I am but the loneliness does really hit hard sometimes.

Tonight’s read 😁

i have a busy week at work so resting all day today. I’m reading a book called ‘the death of us’ by Abigail Dean that popped up in recommended books for me on Amazon. I’m really enjoying it - have any of you read it? It’s a lovely day today here - v sunny and warm. I hope you all have lovely, relaxing days!

@MoneyBall1 never read that - I’ll take a look. 😊

Morning everyone. Anyone got anything exciting coming up this week? I've started the week off by moving from the obese to overweight category so that has set me off on the right foot.

Hi, I’d like to join this thread please?

I’m mid 40’s, married (to an utter twat so no, he’s not my friend) with 3 children (19, 17 & 13).

I’ve always struggled with making friends. I can talk to anyone and everyone - and do all the time! But I never seem to make a deep friendship. And I tend to consider everyone “friends” and have realised that most of them don’t consider me a friend - I’m an acquaintance at best.

i did have a couple of close friends when I was younger, but they moved away (one to Australia) and our connection just isn’t the same now.

A bit about me - I work full time so that keeps me busy. It’s almost 100% WFH since Covid, so I don’t have the office connections anymore. Out of work, I play Pokemon Go - I have started to make friends with the local group, but I don’t have any of their numbers and I don’t think I can imagine seeing any of them outside of a PoGo situation if that makes sense. I enjoy reading but never really get the chance, I play an online game and I do have one close friend in that (he’s my “game husband” according to his wife) but we never talk outside of the game, although in the game we do tell each other about our families, home life, work etc.

there we go, my sorry existence on a page!

Fantastic achievement. I'm slowly approaching the same, and hoping the weight loss will be a confidence boost.

Hi
yes it is so awful and terribly sad. I am so broken but going very gently on myself right now and just managing what I can x

So glad I found this thread. Over the years, I've had lots of people who I thought of as friends, only to realise that it was completely one-sided and exhausting. Meet-ups would always involve me listening for about 2 hours of them monologuing and then, 2 minutes before we'd all have to dash off, they'd say, "Anyway, LadyLucksalot, what's going on with you?", then their eyes glazed over and that was that. It was miserable feeling so invisible and ignored, even in the middle of a group.

I had an epiphany a while ago and stopped being so available. Most of them never got back in touch!

I'm very happy in my own company, which is just as well really as I'm self-employed.

Introversion is a very good tool for writers. I've also self-published a few books. Being a life-long observer is a hard-won superpower, isn't it? I reckon we would all make excellent secret agents.

Well done, @Littletreefrog ! I can't say that I have anything quite as exciting to report, as I am in work all week (and this weekend). I just hope that it is peaceful and that everything runs smoothly!

Ooh, what genre of books do you write, @LadyLucksalot ? I love to read and write, and yes, being an observer makes you pick up on a lot of things that other people miss!

@Tillow4ever , it is not a sorry existence if you have things that make you happy in it, even if they're the tiny things. I hope that you have had a lovely day today.

I haven't read Abigail Dean's The Death of Us yet, but I enjoyed one of her previous novels (Girl A). Have you finished it yet, @MoneyBall1 ? Did it live up to expectations? I'm always on the lookout for new books to read!

Hi everyone and welcome to any newbies ❤️ how has everyone’s day been? I finally finished the essay yesterday morning and sent it in! Got to start preparing for final uni exam now 😂🙈

Well done @Showmethefood

I’ve had a busy day with work being crazy busy, but I did get to go out for a walk in the sunshine to meet a couple of other local Pokemon players to do the “raid hour” this evening. Ended up being just 3 of us but luckily myself and the other lady that came along are quite experienced now with very good pokemons as the 3rd player was a young guy who has only just started playing. Luckily the 2 of us can duo most raids so we could help to carry him so to speak.

So not majorly exciting but it was a nice evening. What’s everyone else been up to?

Hello. I am solo SAHP, so no partner and dread that day DC flee the nest!

My best (and only) real true friend is moving away, which I'm heartbroken about. Too far to see regularly. Other than that I have 3 friends (if I can call them that) who I see anything about 2-4 times a year.

So feel lonely and struggle with things around the house a lot of the time. I've tried to go to social groups but find it hard to talk to people in a large group setting and it's different people everytime I go to a meet up.

Have nothing in common with neighbours, who are overwhelmingly retired empty nesters and couples.

Well done @Showmethefood and welcome to the Newbies.

@TheeNotoriousPIGI'm half way through so will let you know when done. I expect I’ll finish it this week!

Morning everyone. How’s things today? Mil birthday so we will be going out for a meal later on. Weather looks nice but most of it will be spent doing coursework 😅

Have a nice time at the meal! I’m working but started early so hoping for an early finish (suspect it won’t happen). Nothing major planned but I’m sure someone asked something about this weekend so who knows?!

I am an introvert by nature, no friends here. I did have a good friend but due to their mental health it became impossible to continue sadly, due to only so much I can deal with, and stay sain. Currently overwhelmed by life’s challenges, bereavement and dealing with elderly parents. 😢 Nothing lasts forever and I know this time will pass but I wish it would hurry up.

Hi @Nex you're right. It’s just a season and will pass , but it is very difficult whilst you’re going through it. Sending strength and support ❤️ @Tillow4ever hoping for an early finish for you too. @NopeNotAmanda how you doing? Wanted to check in on you.

Thinking of you x

@Showmethefood Did you ever get around to finishing your essay? I hope that it went well and that you got a good mark, despite the distraction of MN!

@MoneyBall1 How was the book, and what are you reading now? I'm trying to get through my To Be Read pile, but I'm sure that it keeps mating and multiplying overnight!

It is nice to see that lots of other introverts have joined the thread! I hope that everyone is doing well and that you all have a lovely day tomorrow 🙂

You sound so interesting , positive and can do.