A thread for those who don’t have friends in real life.

[Showmethefood]

Hi everyone,

I don’t know how to start this thread, so we’ll just go with being plain honest! I’m in my 30s and I don’t have any friends in real life! Of course I have acquaintances/people I can chat to if at certain events - but no real life friends 🙈

It’s really hard to feel accepted for who you are sometimes, and so many of us have to alter our personalities to try and fit into the work environment (or even to fit in with our families). So, I wanted to start a thread for all those who don’t have friends in real life. A place where people can come and leave updates on how their day has gone, how they are feeling, what their interests and hobbies are, and just have a good chat!

So, a little about me:
Im married and have a teenager.
I have a gorgeous cocker spaniel.
Ive almost (one year left) completed my degree in psychology and counselling.
I have just written my first children’s book and am currently in the process of self publishing it.
Im starting a new job in a school this Friday.

Please feel free to join and let’s keep this thread a safe place where we can (hopefully) begin to make some friends and not feel so alone. ❤️

Hi, I'd like to join this thread please. I'm in my 40's and have no close friends. I occasionally meet up with acquaintances for coffee but that's only once or twice a year now. I was diagnosed with asd a few years ago and suffer from social anxiety so both of those factors don't help.

I'm early 40s , have two teenagers, a husband and a working cocker spaniel.
I had a 'best' friend who I went all the way through secondary school with. We are still friends but she lives hundreds of miles away.

Since I was 17 and started work I have really struggled to maintain friendships. I had 3 regular acquaintances (school gate mum friends) who I would meet up with every few months and then the Pandemic happened and they all seemed to ghost me.

It used to get me down but I think I've made my peace with this.

I like people, however I don't trust them enough to let them near me.

I could try and work on this with some deep therapy but really, I think I'm happier in my own space.

There is nothing wrong with me/us.
Live and let live.

@Glencocoyougo 'There is nothing wrong with me/us.
Live and let live.' Absolutely and well said, everyone is different. Also I often think on the other end of the spectrum there are lots of examples of people who are very unpleasant/selfish/nasty/criminal or a combination of these who have a big gang of 'friends' I had a lot of friends in secondary school but struggled to make friends when I started work, a lot of them were into heavy drinking and constant partying and I wasn't and seen by some of them as 'odd'. I think a big part of it is the circumstances that life throws at us, not just our own personalities.
@Catsarelovely and all recent joiners everyone is welcome here, seems like we are a bunch of very nice people!
@BillieNoM888 thanks for the peep at your dictionary, it's fascinating, I love words and I love books. Ok exact duplicate books can be got rid of but other than that I'm in the @TheeNotoriousPIG club 'you can't have too many books and I've not enough shelf space'. My dream is to have a library like the Duke of Devonshire with cosy fires and little lamps everywhere, preferably rain or snow outside while you curl up with you book.......bliss ( reality is more like DH banging about slamming doors and adult DC banging around in the kitchen getting their 200th snack of the day). Oh dear @deepermining I hope you can get shelves one day!
I like 'Fun Sponge' for NotoriousP's boss , you got to have a few nicknames for these people to keep your sanity

My dream is to have a library like the Duke of Devonshire with cosy fires and little lamps everywhere, preferably rain or snow outside while you curl up with you book.......bliss

Nice : ) My dream is to have a dancing room, a large white room with plenty of sun, that I can dance in.

Hullo to the new people!

I am lucky enough to have a home library! It’s not kitted out yet because I can’t choose a paint colour

How's everyone enjoying the weather? I ate chips with my son whilst sitting on a wall this evening. Simple pleasures.

I heard on the radio this morning that weather science people ( meterologists?) have modelled that we could have regular temperatures of 40 degrees in ten years time.

That is not for me! High teens to low twenties is fine for me,. Anything upwards of 25 degrees is unbearably hot in my book!

Are you in a crisis of indecision? I get those! I am terrible at decisions.

Hello everyone. Sorry I’ve been absent. 🙈 Desperately trying to catch up on all your updates! I’ve finished my first term as exam invigilator and have really enjoyed it!! Sadly I won’t have work now until November time 😬 - so need to start looking for things to fill in the gap. Uni has also finished until October , so I’m currently spending my time reading and watching old nostalgic programmes I watched when I was a kid 😅

@Showmethefood Glad you enjoyed your first term of exam invigilation. Its always good to start a new area of work and find you like it!

Hope you find something soon. What sort of thing are you looking for?

Thank you. I actually got an offer of a job yesterday in a local tea room and start tomorrow 😊

Nice! Hope you enjoy that too. It should be great for getting to know people in the area.

Gosh, you're keeping busy, @Showmethefood ! I hope that you enjoy the tea rooms as much as invigilating. I bet that you'll have a lot of visitors, hoping to escape the heat!

@Uptoolateatnight It takes AGES to choose the right colour for a room, doesn't it? I'm still yet to choose new colours for rooms in my house, and I've been there for several years! What are the colour options for your library?

@deepermining I am too British for this heat! If I wanted hot weather, I would go abroad for it. At this rate, I'm thinking that I might have to move to the Shetlands if this global warming business continues, as it's only 12 degrees C there today (or so Google says). It's double that here! It's lovely that you got to spend time with your son, eating chips, though!

Welcome to the newbies! @Catsarelovely I don't have personal experience of ASD, but social anxiety is a nuisance. Do try not to let it ruin your life! Live your life to the full and make the most of your time here on Earth. @Glencocoyougo There's nothing wrong with being happier in your own space! It can actually be more interesting, especially if you make it so 🙂

I am briefly visiting family. So far, I've seen almost all of my family members, more people and cars (and less tractors!) than I have seen in all of the time since I've moved away, two sausage dogs offended one of my (considerably bigger) dogs by barking at her, and I have enjoyed the satisfaction of a decent curry! The spice barely registers with me at the nearest takeaway in my adopted home. Obviously, I have also been to the bookshop and came out with four new books to add to my "to-be-read pile that is going to topple over and suffocate me in my sleep"...

@TheeNotoriousPIG

That's great that you got to enjoy time with family and eat decent curry. : )

I'm feeling pretty low today. Two big awful things happened at the end of the week that are making me dread next week. Then difficult weekend at home too. Big worries about both my kids and about being able to have the time to do all the investigation and work to try to help them. And I am not well today. Just feel really alone with it all.

Oh, no! Is there anyone in person that you can discuss things with, who knows your circumstances a bit better than a stranger on the internet? They might be of a better help than us! I hope that things make a turn for the better for you and your family soon!

Not really, no.

Tbh, @deepermining that's why we're on this thread, so feel free to talk more about your worries here... I'm sorry things are so hard for you at the moment 💙

Sorry to hear that, @deepermining . Is there any way that your thread friends can help?

Thanks @TheeNotoriousPIG and @TryingAgainAgainAgain . No, there isn't anything anyone can do to help. It would just be nice to have someone say, ' that's shit. I am sorry things are so shit.'

🫂 to you, @deepermining x x

Hello, everyone! How is everyone of late? @Showmethefood How is the tea room job working out, and did you get everything sorted, @deepermining ? @Uptoolateatnight Have you narrowed down a choice of colours for the home library yet?

It just seems to have gone far too quiet on this thread of late!

I could have started this thread 10 years ago - its hard and it takes time but I now have a nice circle, so there is always hope!

Hi 👋 you’re right it has gone quiet! Tea room job is going great thank you. I’m really enjoying it! I get my uni results on the 22nd 🙈 - really hoping I’ve done well as I tried so hard. How are things going with you? Anything nice planned for the weekend? We spent last weekend at the beach in the sea, which was amazing! Managed to drag the teenager out too (he was determined he wasn’t going to enjoy it , but couldn’t stop smiling, so we took it as a win!)

It's good to hear that the new job is going well, and good luck with your results! I hope that you have you favourite things in to eat/drink to celebrate! I'm glad that the weather was good for your family's day out at the seaside. We've just had a brief spell of pouring rain, with more rain promised this week!

I had a lovely workman over to do a job for me. Unfortunately, as I'd done all of the laundry, cleaning and gardening in preparation for his visit, I had to have a restful day of reading, crafting and catching up on the Sewing Bee after that 😂

Welcome to the thread, @MascaraGirl !

That sounds nice. I have a hospital appointment tomorrow for a scan (had a bad uti a few months ago - so it’s just a check up really). Then in the afternoon it will be nice to just relax before returning to work on Tuesday.