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How have you been affected by the Tran's community?

653 replies

BabuFrick · 18/04/2025 16:15

As there are so many posts on here that discuss Transgenderism, has anyone been directly affected by the Tran's community, good or bad?
I'm quite young and only know one Tran's gender person, as far as I'm aware.

OP posts:
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13
Silvertulips · 18/04/2025 16:52

Trans ideology

Sweeping schools, the internet listening to teens continually talking about their how they identify rather than discussing music, films ambition, etc, I think it really took away from their childhood.

Those who ‘identified as …’ have since reverted back to who they were - shows a lot of it was bravo, showing off, or whatever -

Im all for equality, but taking woman only spaces isn’t it.

Woman fought for years for their rights, the path has been cleared, they need to get their won rights same as those who fought before them.

Lovelysummerdays · 18/04/2025 16:52

Imtootired · 18/04/2025 16:44

I understand you were scared or surprised but it sounds like the transgender person was just using the bathroom so you actually didn’t need to be scared. It’s normal to be scared of things you don’t know but that doesn’t mean the answer is to campaign against them in fear. You could give a similar scenario with people from a certain ethnic background and the answer would be to address your own prejudices.

The good men stay out do the bad ones stand out.

It’s really only been in the last decade or so that there has been a big push for women to accept men in our spaces. Before that the police would probably have been called and warned them off.

I personally would feel nervous encountering a man in a single sex environment especially alone and at night. Why is it that a woman feeling unsafe should have her feelings minimised?

It’s not a campaign against Trans people to ask that single sex exemptions are respected.

MooseAndSquirrelLoveFlannel · 18/04/2025 16:53

Yeah, had to fight a "women" in a martial arts competition. 6ft 2 and built like a brick shit house but with long hair. "Her" arms were as long as my legs. I'm 5ft 3in.

Thankfully just a local competition, hence why no weight categories but needless to say I lost. I came second, I would have come first of "she" wasn't fighting in the women's category.

Went on a city break, and walked out a toilet cubicle to wash my hands to find a bearded "woman", who asked me if I was on my period as I'd spent a while in the cubicle. I fucking high tailed it out of there!! I was shaking, knowing someone was stood timing me and then asked a personal question like that.

That's only twice in 44 years, but enough to make me cheer the supreme court ruling.

I see my 16yo daughters friends, one minute their girls, the next day their boys, then back to girls, rinse and repeat. The confusion being created in our youth is palpable.

Ladamesansmerci · 18/04/2025 16:53

Ladamesansmerci · 18/04/2025 16:43

I'm a lesbian, and have met a lot of trans people. On a personal level, I have gotten along with most of them and it was absolutely fine.

The only one I've had an issue with was in a hobby group. I won't say the hobby as it's outing, but it's a nerdy hobby where there are lots of LGBT people. There was a trans person there, who I will call person X. He was a biological 40yo man, but identified as a woman (but very much still presented as a man). There was me, another guy, and two younger queer girls, about 18yo. The younger girls would arrange to meet up, and person X would invite themselves. That in itself felt weird, and the girls used to tell me they found it weird. Person X used to go alone to a particular club night which me and my wife also attended, and used to attach themselves to us. They then used to tell us they were a lesbian, and would talk about how hot they found us, and how they'd love to date us, as a fellow lesbian. They never actually did anything wrong, but idk, they just really gave me the ick and bad vibes. They were very 'I'm a lesbian just like you' and used to talk about girlhood a lot. I just found myself thinking, you've no idea what it means to live as a woman and experience misogyny.

Otherwise, I've been to LGBT women's groups/lesbian spaces, and I personally feel uncomfortable with trans women being there. As a lesbian, there is a lot of pressure on lesbians in particular to date and sleep with trans women. And I just don't want to 🤷 I think trans women and trans identifying lesbians deserve their own space, but I feel I am also entitled to my own safe space away from biological men.

I think it's complex and I have no issues with respecting identity/pronouns. I would advocate for trans people to have safe spaces. I don't mind gender neutral single cubicles in places like restaurants. BUT I also believe in single sex spaces for things like changing rooms etc. I also have every empathy for body dysmorphia, which must be horrible to live with, but I also don't believe I'm a bad person for thinking trans woman cannot possibly know what it is like to be a biological woman. Trans women experience prejudice, but very differently to natal women.

I also think it's wrong that thousands of women are voicing concerts about things like single sex spaces, but are being told they're wrong.

Edited

To follow on from this, I also absolutely do not care what people do with their bodies, how they dress, etc. I would love a world where gender stereotypes are gone and people can present how they please without it being a problem. Be a man who likes dresses! It's fine.

FlippyKiYayFlippyFlipper · 18/04/2025 16:53

Imtootired · 18/04/2025 16:44

I understand you were scared or surprised but it sounds like the transgender person was just using the bathroom so you actually didn’t need to be scared. It’s normal to be scared of things you don’t know but that doesn’t mean the answer is to campaign against them in fear. You could give a similar scenario with people from a certain ethnic background and the answer would be to address your own prejudices.

Luckily the law has spoken and disagrees with you. However they present, men do not belong in women’s single sex spaces.
if I set a lion loose in your house, don’t be scared, just address your prejudice towards the poor lion! He just wants to pee.

Abhannmor · 18/04/2025 16:53

Got booted from an FB page and chat group for supporting JK Rowling. Subsequently deleted Twitter, Reddit etc. Changed FB settings also. One is never sure if actual trans people are involved or is it their over zealous 'allies'?

Kardamyli2 · 18/04/2025 16:54

Copiousamountsofpulses · 18/04/2025 16:48

This sounds like the person I worked with, I wonder if they started working with you in the later part of last year and have the initial A....

I think it's a different person. He's been at my workplace for a few years and decided about 18 months ago that he's a woman. Dresses like a LA hooker most days too Hmm

Tiredalwaystired · 18/04/2025 16:54

BottleBlondeMachiavelli · 18/04/2025 16:46

Work directing our resident trans woman to use the disabled loo was a particular high point. Used to be locked in there for an hour at a time….We have three wheelchair users on our floor. Ironically, used to be considered a very disability friendly place to work.

I went almost fully remote.

This is so difficult. A person needs to pee somewhere! Not welcome in the men’s, or women’s or disabled toilet! Even though there are three disabled people on the floor how many times a day would there be a cross over of identical times to pee? Once maybe if that?

Personly I think your take is quite nasty as they are just trying to do their best by as many people as possible.

murasaki · 18/04/2025 16:54

Imtootired · 18/04/2025 16:44

I understand you were scared or surprised but it sounds like the transgender person was just using the bathroom so you actually didn’t need to be scared. It’s normal to be scared of things you don’t know but that doesn’t mean the answer is to campaign against them in fear. You could give a similar scenario with people from a certain ethnic background and the answer would be to address your own prejudices.

How very 'reframe your trauma' of you.

Screamingabdabz · 18/04/2025 16:54

This reply has been deleted

Message deleted by MNHQ. Here's a link to our Talk Guidelines.

You completely and utterly miss the point. 🙄

Once you let one male into women’s spaces you let them all. We can’t tell which are ‘nice’ or not but we do know that men are responsible for most of the violent and sexual crime. The only way to protect girls and women - and you want that don’t you? Is to exclude all males. Even those that wear dresses.

LittleBigHead · 18/04/2025 16:55

BabuFrick · 18/04/2025 16:15

As there are so many posts on here that discuss Transgenderism, has anyone been directly affected by the Tran's community, good or bad?
I'm quite young and only know one Tran's gender person, as far as I'm aware.

Well, they tried to get me sacked from my job, sooooooo, yes I'd say I've been affected by trans extremist ideology.

FortyElephants · 18/04/2025 16:55

Tiredalwaystired · 18/04/2025 16:54

This is so difficult. A person needs to pee somewhere! Not welcome in the men’s, or women’s or disabled toilet! Even though there are three disabled people on the floor how many times a day would there be a cross over of identical times to pee? Once maybe if that?

Personly I think your take is quite nasty as they are just trying to do their best by as many people as possible.

Why isn't he welcome in the men's?

sanityisamyth · 18/04/2025 16:56

Tran’s?

AccidentallyWesAnderson · 18/04/2025 16:56

I think it comes from a particular place of privilege to be all ‘I’m totally fine with trans women in my space’. The ones negatively impacted by the TWAW crowd are the women in prison, in competitive sports, in rape crisis shelters. Places that don’t affect the majority of women.

The majority of trans women I bet just want to life peacefully (and they have that right in law, nothing has been lost), as does the majority of men, however of the violent and sexual assaults that occur, 98% of these are committed by men, regardless of how they identify.

Until someone can tell us how we can tell the difference between a man who wants to cause us harm from a trans woman who doesn’t (and it’s not because they are trans which I’ve heard a lot recently, I’ve met trans women offenders some that you even the most ardent TWAW would never have their kids around so that argument that they’re harmless because they’re under the umbrella of trans doesn’t wash), those spaces HAVE to remain single sex. It’s a male problem, not trans.

You safeguard for the minority who might hurt you, not the majority who won’t.

NB - I know plenty of nice males and one trans woman colleague who also seemed very nice.

coldscottishmum · 18/04/2025 16:56

We have a transgender (person?) live nearby. Formally male, now dresses as a female and works in our local Asda. My autistic DS was curious but never said anything but you could tell from his face he was confused. I’m grateful for the time this person took to explain that he too was biologically a male, but felt different so dressed different. It gave my DS some understanding of a complex world and subject. It was a really positive experience for both me and DS and there was no offence or upset at all, just curiosity on a subject I wasn’t in a position to explain fully. It was a kind, gentle experience and one I’m very greatful for.

Tiredalwaystired · 18/04/2025 16:56

FlippyKiYayFlippyFlipper · 18/04/2025 16:53

Luckily the law has spoken and disagrees with you. However they present, men do not belong in women’s single sex spaces.
if I set a lion loose in your house, don’t be scared, just address your prejudice towards the poor lion! He just wants to pee.

My trans man friend has a full beard. I really really hope you are welcoming of him when he goes into the ladies loos. He has been using the mens for years.

Annascaul · 18/04/2025 16:58

Tiredalwaystired · 18/04/2025 16:54

This is so difficult. A person needs to pee somewhere! Not welcome in the men’s, or women’s or disabled toilet! Even though there are three disabled people on the floor how many times a day would there be a cross over of identical times to pee? Once maybe if that?

Personly I think your take is quite nasty as they are just trying to do their best by as many people as possible.

Why do you think they’re unwelcome in the men’s?
And, if that should be so, that it’s women’s job to sort that out?

Screamingabdabz · 18/04/2025 16:58

Imtootired · 18/04/2025 16:25

I know some trans people through peace activism and they’re all great. I’m in Australia and really can’t understand the vitriol directed at them. It’s really sad

I think you’ll find the ‘vitriol’ is mostly directed at women fighting for their rights to dignity and safety. Women want spaces without having to share them with male bodied people. What is it about that that you don’t get?

Planetmonster · 18/04/2025 16:58

Yes. When I have to share the public loos with scary looking men in dresses. It is scary and they don’t pass or behave in a female socialised way, as if they did they wouldn’t Dare be in the women’s loos. They glare at everyone, as if asking someone to say something so they can shout at them. This has happened lots of times as I live in a friendly seaside city.

yes at work when a single transwomen took over the women’s group and made everything trans. Stopped good conversations about equality happening.

yes with my children as they think people can change sex and that JKR is evil.

I am old so know exactly how male privilege works and see it in action every day.

’most vulnerable’ my arse. Middle aged men looking like aunt sally.

who we should be helping is poor trauma suffering teenagers who believe changing sex is the answer to their problems. It isn’t.

do you know the damage puberty blockers do to?

we have all been affected by the push for trans rights as it has over shadowed women’s rights.

also I think it’s what caused Trump to win in the US. Lia Thomas got Trump in.

LittleBigHead · 18/04/2025 16:58

Went on a city break, and walked out a toilet cubicle to wash my hands to find a bearded "woman", who asked me if I was on my period as I'd spent a while in the cubicle.

Fetish, fetish, fetish. And a creepy voyeur. A perve.

What actual woman would ask a random stranger that???

Tiredalwaystired · 18/04/2025 16:59

Annascaul · 18/04/2025 16:58

Why do you think they’re unwelcome in the men’s?
And, if that should be so, that it’s women’s job to sort that out?

What makes you so sure they will be? If women can be transphobic you can bet men will be too.

Kardamyli2 · 18/04/2025 16:59

Tiredalwaystired · 18/04/2025 16:54

This is so difficult. A person needs to pee somewhere! Not welcome in the men’s, or women’s or disabled toilet! Even though there are three disabled people on the floor how many times a day would there be a cross over of identical times to pee? Once maybe if that?

Personly I think your take is quite nasty as they are just trying to do their best by as many people as possible.

Why are they not welcome in the men's ? Perhaps that's what needs to change? A campaign to explain to men that they need to welcome trans presenting men in male loos, changing rooms etc.

Gymmum82 · 18/04/2025 16:59

A guy at work who was absolutely terrible at his job decided to become a woman and is now a transgender woman. I expected her to become good at her job because women are obviously better at everything. She is still terrible at her job. It affects me almost daily because I have to deal with her and her incompetence.

TinselAngel · 18/04/2025 16:59

This reply has been deleted

Message deleted by MNHQ. Here's a link to our Talk Guidelines.

Theres over 5000 posts about how me, other women like me and our children, have been directly affected.

You don’t know much about mumsnet do you?

https://www.mumsnet.com/talk/womens_rights/3101834-trans-widows-escape-committee

tobee · 18/04/2025 16:59

Exactly @FortyElephants!

Why is it that it's pitted as women being the hateful bigots? When surely it's the "unwelcoming men"?

How anyone can say this isn't at heart a male rights movement I don't know.