Daughter in hospital, what am I meant to do about work.

[123dontcomeatme]

Dd is 19 and has been in hospital since thur evening. She was originally in resus where i stayed with her till 4am, went home for a few hours and was back at 10am. She's on a ward now but still very unwell and not likely to be home for a few days..

There is only me visiting/ taking in clothes/ snacks etc. I have chronic fatigue and am exhausted.

I'm meant to be working tomorrow, what do I do? I can't think straight at all. Ive got it in my head that since she's 19 I'm meant to just work and visit after work but she's so unwell and I'm struggling myself.

I didn't work fri, I was with her in hospital until 4am, came home and slept for a few hours, packed a bag and went back in. I was planning on catching up with work over the weekend but I just can't. I ll need to be at the hospital at 10 again this morning.

What do people do in this situation?

They say, I am not in a fit state to work, and get signed off. Exhausted and not able to think straight = not well enough to work

It’s not clear:
how sick your Dd is / when you expect her to be out of hospital?
what kind of work you do?
what your employers take on this would be (compassionate vs don’t care)

but ultimately if you are diagnosed with chronic fatigue syndrome you should just take the time off as sick leave. You can self certify for 5 days and this is what I would do in your circs

You take leave. Most workplaces have an allowance of emergency leave. Then you take holiday leave. Then you take unpaid leave.

Yes take leave. Your DD is in hospital. They will understand

Contact your manager, explain that you can't work and ask them for a couple of days compassionate leave.

If, beyond that, you need more time then a GP will sign you off sick if you're stressed, exhausted, have CF and your daughter is in hospital.

She needs her mum so ring in and talk to work, can you take leave or do they want you to go sick?

I don't know when she will be out. There seems to be some complications, the drs are trying to figure out what's wrong.
My manager would be kind but I don't want to look like I'm taking the piss.

I'm just wondering what the standard thing to do would be?
When I left resus at 4am a nurse said to me that I would be tired at work.. I hadn't even considered going to work at 8am when I'd been up all night. I'm just too tired and stressed to think straight really.

Contact your manager and explain the situation. Tell them how you’re feeling and you won’t be in to work. Ask for some carers or compassionate leave.
In my workplace we can be given up to 5 days off for this sort of scenario.

Hope you’re daughter gets well soon

What are you bosses like? If I explained this mine would 100% tell me not to worry and focus on my daughter.

Just take the time off. When my partner was in hospital with appendicitis I had two days' compassionate leave. If you work for a decent employer they'll give you that, if not take annual leave or just get yourself signed off sick with stress.

You would not be expected to just go to work when she's still very ill, don't worry.

In my organisation (I'm a manager), we would encourage someone to go off sick in this situation.

Ok. Thank you.

Nailed it,
You can self certify for sickness for the first week and after that you need a ‘fit note’ to say you’re not fit for work. Your sickness reason is stress / burn out / similar.

As a manager I would expect to give someone 1 day emergency grace leave
if they need longer .. annual leave taken

you could also go off sick and need a sick note if need longer than 7 days
Our policy would only give compassionate release for bereavement but can give one day for emergency like flood in home or unexpected hospital admission .. giving you then a chance to arrange something.. maybe another relative to cover or as I said agree short notice AL .

Use your annual leave. I wouldn’t class this as sick leave.

You are absolutely not taking the piss ❤️Any decent manager would understand that and grant a few days paid leave (compassionate/carers) and there should be policies to outline the conditions of these.
I’ve granted paid leave in similar circumstances
Otherwise, echo the advice to self cert off with stress for a few days, you sound in no way fit for work
I hope your daughter is feeling better soon. Take care of yourself ❤️

Resus is where the very sickest patients / most at risk patients go. Your daughter is clearly very unwell. Absolutely reasonable to ask for a couple of days compassionate leave at least, whilst your daughter stabilizes, and you recover yourself.

We have a special leave policy that would give some days off for this scenario....ask about that first.

Your workplace may have a dependents’ leave policy. I know DD is technically an adult but this may still be covered.

Whatever kind of leave it is, you are absolutely not taking the piss to have some leave,

If you’re too tired to think then you’re sick because you have CHRONIC FATIGUE. Your condition means that the toll of the last few days means you’ve been unable to manage your condition like you normally would and NOW YOURE SICK

I had 5 days emergency leave in a similar situation with an adult relative.

Take some AL or ask for some special leave. Can you take some half day’s? Work in the morning and head to the hospital for the afternoon? Hope they are feeling better soon?

I have no annual leave to take, we run april to april, aren't allowed to carry over, so it's all used.

Call your manager tomorrow morning, explain the situation and ask to take a day’s annual leave. One day off shouldn’t cause a back up at work. I would be hesitant to take a week’s leave because you don’t know how long your daughter will be in hospital and if she needs any procedures or when she is discharged, you will want to take some leave for that.

Just saw this. Can you take a day’s family leave?