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EBSA support thread 2

381 replies

Luddite26 · 20/03/2025 06:28

Hopefully this links to Brambley Hedges EBSA support thread.
A community to discuss the processes and support each other when children are experiencing Emotionally Based School Avoidance.

OP posts:
ISaySteadyOn · Yesterday 21:57

Well, DD2 still sullen. Had good conversation with her new HoY on the phone and, if I can just get her in, I think she'll thrive.

I feel pretty rotten. I could barely sleep last night.

DD1 might have told me off but I don't feel like she hates me the way I think DD2 does right now.

But DS told me that I am really kind and a great person to talk to. He makes me laugh. He went in today and did PE which went fine.

Luddite26 · Today 07:46

Good luck this morning @ISaySteadyOn. Sullen teens don't bring the best start to a day. At least the school sounds supportive. But it's the pressure you feel to get them in when you are the link. The way you are left with everything hanging over you.💐

OP posts:
Piony · Today 07:51

Anything DD says to you at the moment is heavily tinged by the fact she is feeling so much pressure this week. I.hope you and she have a better day today @ISaySteadyOn but if not, try again tomorrow or next week x

ISaySteadyOn · Today 10:07

We have agreed that she will try tomorrow and school have also agreed that she only needs to come in a few days a week while she settles. I think she was surprised that their response was 'Sure, what a good idea, let's do that.'

So far they have been great and patient and very flexible. I know it's because I am paying fees but, to be fair, this approach is exactly what I paid for.

Leafywool · Today 10:15

@ISaySteadyOn I am sure she will get there eventually. It’s a big thing starting a completely new school even without the background of EBSA and anything else going on. Hopefully if you can get her there tomorrow she will have a positive day and it will set her up to keep going. It’s so hard, you have my solidarity!

Leafywool · Today 10:27

Dd wasn’t feeling well yesterday so didn’t go in. To be fair to her, she did look incredibly pasty and she said she felt sick. I thought she would say the same this morning even though she was fine in the afternoon, as she was feeling anxious last night, but I dropped her off this morning no issues!

We self referred to a charity for 1-1 talking therapy before Christmas and she’s finally come to the top of the waiting list. She’s got her first session this afternoon but I have no idea how it will go. Generally she has been pretty happy recently and we’ve had very minimal meltdowns or any grumblings of her feeling sad. She even said to me the other day she didn’t feel like she needed therapy any more but I know she will still benefit from it.

We went to view a potential school to submit as our preferred option for her EHCP on the Friday before half term. I think we liked it. It has an RP for autistic students but 80% of classes are in mainstream which I think would actually suit dd quite well. It’s a very academic school and regularly comes up in those ‘best state schools in the north’ type lists in the newspapers. People buy ££££ houses in the catchment to get their kids in there! We don’t live super close but it’s only 15/20 mins on the train which dd would be fine doing. Dd is very clever and wants to be pushed academically so on paper it sounds great but I’m still so worried about making the wrong decision. There’s an older girl who goes to her weekly autism social group who goes to the same school and she loves it and is doing well there. Dd said she has ‘the same flavour’ of autism as her, so it’s good to hear a positive experience.

We have another option we can look at which is a similar set up but slightly closer to home, and less academic. But she has a couple of friends there already which is a plus. It’s a school we had originally looked at for Y7 but discounted as the facilities and classes they offered weren’t as interesting to dd but they do have good support for autistic children with an EHCP so it’s worth us looking again now we will have that in place.

I still haven’t looked at the draft EHCP stuff and I feel so overwhelmed by it all. I’ve been on the EHCP support thread on here which has some brilliant posters offering support but I just can’t get my head around any of it. They have said she should have had more than just an EP report and I should try and get private OT and SALT done but I can’t afford to. And I find all the terminology just so confusing 😖

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