why the effing jeffing is there a Surrogacy board on Mumsnet???

[nevertuesday]

I have been on MN for 15 years or so and only just realised via a post in Active Threads, that there is a Surrogacy board on Mumsnet??

I only read a couple of the discussions there, along the lines of can I buy my baby abroad? has anyone else had a baby via Surrogacy?? so, looks to be a chat board to SUPPORT people try to remove babies from their mothers using cash.

huh?? on Mumsnet?

there are threads asking questions about Surrogacy from abroad. the ones I looked at were prefaced with 'im not interested from hearing negative comments from people who don't agree...'

🤮🤬

I can't believe Mumsnet allow it

The baby doesn't get a choice. And surrogates are never the rich ones are they? There's always a power imbalance especially in surrogacy abroad.

But that's what I'm saying. You think its only things like smell? I think responsible loving parents would have the biggest impact on a human

You asked me if I was against children being born. I said I wasn't, except in cases where the child's needs are not prioritised.

I then said I don't think that surrogacy ever prioritises the child's needs.

I made the point because you asked.

And not necessarily. If you do some research children born to surrogate parents are also abused and killed. One study revealed around 30% of the abused children they looked at were born to surrogates.

Surrogacy doesn’t mean love for life. Neither does biological birth or adoption, I’m not saying that, but it doesn’t mean the children will be loved.

My 4 month old doesn’t give a monkeys whether she is with me or my wife. If anything it burns me that she’s more content with my wife after I carried her for 9 months to be honest. Babies can tell when they’re being scooped up and fed with love and care, she isn’t very bothered about hearing my personal heart beat. I think that’s why they make all those sheep with heart beats for near the cot, because even a fake heartbeat is soothing.

Yes, like when you can't find a valid argument to justify your beliefs.

mumsnet isn't a UK only site. yes of course we'll off, middle class people use surrogates, who else would??

Its definitely given away so it's to be hoped its loved
Unless it has something wrong with it or is stuck in the wrong country or there are legal issues.

Have you reported the threads? They say they monitor the board, but generally their monitoring can be…slapdash.

As with anything there are good and bad people. Those in favour of surrogacy are not talking about human trafficking, exploiting poor women etc. We are talking about legal UK not for profit surrogacy

Oh really?

https://www.scmp.com/news/asia/australasia/article/1935955/convicted-australian-paedophile-father-allowed-keep-thai

As I said, women are used in this way in the U.K. they don’t have the big payment but you can buy a baby in this country, you just do it by giving them payments and buying them things under the guise of ‘things/money to support with the pregnancy’ which is perfectly legal. I don’t mean to be rude, but you’re naive if you don’t think it happens here.

My point is that the trauma of being removed from its mother will have an impact on the baby's brain development.

Your really splitting hairs now! Like I keep pointing out these are all things that can apply to normal family set ups. It's not a reason to be against surrogacy.

Read through all my posts. And there are also quite a number where the person I quoted didn't come back with anything further.

I don’t think I am but okay. I said they can happen in normal and adopted family settings ups. But I think you have a rose tinted view of surrogacy and you’re asking why people don’t fully agree with it and people are explaining why to you and you’re dismissing everything anyone says.

What's that? One case?

As I say, people in favour of surrogacy are not in favour of any examples of exploitation etc. I'm afraid bad happens in pretty much every aspect of life.

Here’s a study showing multiple surrogate child fatalities due to abuse:

https://pubmed.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/34369437/

“There were 452 pediatric homicides and 219 cases of fatal child abuse. Of all cases of fatal child abuse, 60% involved biological and 29% involved surrogate parents”

So not just one case, 131 cases. And that’s just those in this study.

So 60% involved biological parents and 30% involved surrogates and your using that as a reason against surrogacy??

No, it doesn’t have to. If surrogacy didn’t exist or maybe if the rules were tighter and no money could exchange hands then it wouldn’t exist because poor women wouldn’t feel like they had to do it.

Same as if men didn’t pay for sex women wouldn’t have to sell their bodies or be trafficked. One causes the other. It’s not ‘just life’.

No, have you not read any of the messages?! You’re arguing for arguments sakes.

It isn’t the reason I’m against surrogacy, I’m not even completely against surrogacy as I’ve told you about ten times when you’ve been messaging me, I explained my issues with surrogacy. But you said surrogate children will all be loved and we are pointing out that isn’t true - same for biological and adopted kids.

I'm sorry you can say that about ANYTHING in life. If cars didnt exist there would be no roads deaths, if knives didnt exist there would be no knife crime. If plastic surgery didnt exist there would be no death through surgery. If TV didn't exist there would be less obese people 😆

I'm going to stop replying to you now because your a sandwich short of a picnic.