Ridiculous things customers say!

[Darkclothes]

I was in an Italian restaurant today in the UK. The menu was in English. The woman at the next table asked the waiter if the prawns were cooked! He said yes of course they are. She then said that it didn't specify on the menu- it just said 'King prawns with baby tomatoes in a creamy sauce'.

The waiter then said, well it doesn't specific that the chicken is cooked- but most people realise it is. DH and I starting laughing to ourselves. It made me wonder, what other bonkers things have you heard customers say?

"I'll never come back here"

Thank fuck for that, can we have that I'm writing?

@Snoopdoggydog123 I'm guessing they were either a regular there or a PITA?

I really could buy all these books

Well go on then it is a shop after all

I worked in an off license while in uni and no joke one night a woman came up to the till with a bottle of wine and a smug look on her face and said ‘just thought I’d take this up to you hun, I noticed it says 2008 on the bottle, might need to do a check of your shelves!!!’

Can I have a latte with half a single shot?

heck, why bother??

"The customer is always right" - always said when they want something they arent entitled to/being rude to the shop assistant.

No, the full quote is "the customer is always right in the matters of taste" as in - if that is what they want, then fine

I used to work for a car insurance company. Customer rang up one day to advise that he’d lost his licence due to being caught doing 80 in a 30 mph zone.

“It’s ridiculous. Anyone would think I’d done something wrong. The police should be out there fighting real crime.”

I work for a different company now and I could honestl write a book, but as I work for them it wouldn’t be appropriate.

'Why the fuck has my cheeseburger got cheese on it?'

'I'm never coming back here!'

Has my mango and pineapple frappe got coffee in it?'

'Why doesn't my hamburger come with cheese?'

'Why weren't you in yesterday?i came in and you where nowhere to be seen!' (I'm not allowed a day off,but it is lovely to be recognised as been good at my job)

'I ordered a orange juice,I got an orange juice but I wanted a diet coke so why didnt you give me a diet coke?' (this one threw the orange juice in my face)

'My teenager came in the other day,smashed up the store,made a massive mess and passed out pissed in the totlets with their vape in their hand (that theyd been using)and you banned him/her,why?'

In an award winning pizza restaurant, the only mains are pizza - huge, spilling off your plate and very delicious pizzas. Customers on next table were complaining that they couldn't get chips as a side. Waiter listed the side salads they had available, But they weren't interested 'what kind of restaurant are you if you don't even serve chips' to which the the waiter responded 'clearly not the kind of restaurant you want to be eating in. We have a queue of people waiting for a table so if you'd like to leave please do so'
They'd had a beer each and waiter gave it them on the house as they agreee to leave but not sure I'd have been so generous.

I was a front end manager for a while for a big retailer, and I have many 😂

My favourite was a woman trying to return a nail polish, after having dropped it at home and the glass smashing. So was returning a bunch of glass fragments in a plastic sandwich bag, covered in a shade of polish we didn’t sell. She said she’d never shopped in our location before, and couldn’t remember if she’d bought it at another location, or at a Boots. No receipt. No bank charge showing the amount. She was FUMING. Lots of swearing and tears.

Swore she’d never shop with us again. At which point the security guard said ‘you never did in the first place’ 😂🫠

‘I want an analogue clock but don’t want it to make a ticking noise.’

A toaster that was returned because it ‘toasted too quickly’.

A guy who was close to screaming at me that it was his right as a British citizen to have me answer his question.

He did not want to hear that he had rung the wrong company.

Oh I've got loads. Off the top of my head:

Working at a famous theme park as a teenager. There was a thunderstorm. We had to close the (tall, metal, ready-made lightning conductor) rides because of it. A middle aged male customer started kicking off and screaming in my face because he couldn't ride the rides in this thunderstorm.

Same theme park. Looking after four lost children at the lost child centre. A parent was found for them. She said "we'll pop back in a couple of hours, my husband wants to finish his pint and I'd like another one" and walked off. She was very cross when we got security to go to the bar and ask her to parent her children as we weren't a creche/childcare service.

McDonalds. Customer complained to me that the staff clearing tables had cleared away his drink. I got him another one and apologised. Then a week later it mysteriously happened again to the same man. I asked him who it was and whether he'd told her that it was his drink. He lost it and screamed at me that I needed to learn to speak English.

Argos. Christmas student job. Christmas Eve. Customer demanded a PS3 (they'd just come out) even though we explained they were out of stock across the country, apparently we must have one somewhere in the back because it was advertised in the catalogue so we must have it in stock.

At a pharmacy, the customer who dropped a bottle of Calpol after leaving and smashed it, then brought the gloopy sticky mess back in, insisted we'd sold it like that, cited the GDPR (!) and demanded we replace it with a new bottle. The pharmacist refused on the basis that I'd obviously not sold it like that because I would have noticed if I'd scanned a sticky, dripping box with shards of glass sliding around inside it.

I forgot about this one parent that came in about 6 months ago

Her teen dd had been caught (by me) having sex in the toilets (not that unusual) with her teen boyfriend

She found out that the teen was pregnant and came storming in to blame us and 'what are you doing to do about it?!'

'Fuck all love,we are mcdonalds,not family planning'

During the last World Cup I was shouted at for about 10 minutes by two women because it was "too loud for them to talk" and they wanted the TV's turned down... it was an England match... playing at a sports pub full of fans.

They demanded a full refund on the bottle of red wine they'd more than half drank because I'd "ruined their nice afternoon".

I work on a deli counter.
How many sausages in a triple sausage baguette.
if an item doesn’t scan oh it must be free!
Do you do gluten free bread as I can’t have gluten, then ask for breadcrumbed ham on their sandwich! When told it’s gluten the breadcrumbs in ham is different apparently.

I worked on a supermarket hot food counter. One customer came over to my counter with a pack of raw steak and asked me to cook it. I explained that I was only able to cook the items we sold on our counter not items from the aisles. She then informed me that it wasn't from our aisles, she had bought it in a different shop. She was surprised when I still refused to cook it.

People have sex in McDonald’s toilets?? Jeez.

Working at an insurance company, someone went online and bought a new policy for their car, starting with immediate effect. They then called up about 10 minutes later (immediate red flag) to make a claim... for a crash which happened the day before...

I explained they'd need to speak to the previous insurer who covered them up until yesterday as our cover was only purchased today. Obviously they had been driving around uninsured. They shouted "WHATS THE POINT IN INSURANCE IF IT DOESN'T PAY FOR ANYTHING THEN", threatened to report me to Watchdog and demanded a full refund so they could "take their business elsewhere".

Do people really think they can take out car insurance after they've had an accident?

All the time (not every shift,but enough)

They also get pissed (vodka and tango being the most common drink for some reason) take drugs,shit everywhere,flush undies down the loo and vape because we can't have cameras in the loos and they think we are not aware they do it

It's not nice having to get them to stop and they are always snotty with us for stopping their fun

“Is this item vegetarian?” Was the question I got asked a lot at my previous job. Chinese ready meal with prawns, beef burgers, pizzas with chicken on topping.

“Do you know what brand of washing powder my wife buys?” I don’t make a mental note of what customers buy or been through their cupboard where they keep washing powder at home,

”I bought this from here last week and only shop here” we have not sold that product for several years now. Stop lying and admit you go to other shops.

”you keep moving the eggs!” Me:“They have been in the same place for 14 years”.

”Do you know if (shop in the area) sells (item)?” Unless I have seen/bought item from that shop, I tell them. Otherwise I say I’m unsure. A few customers got irate from my answer. I don’t go around shops and locate everything.

Think you need to lock the toilets and only unlock them for certain customers and the chavs, only let one at a time.

Complaint that the aquarium didn’t let you hold the fish….

Thankfully never at any of the five stores I worked at over the years. But we did have some other really disgusting behaviour including pants stuffed down the toilet by someone who shat himself and obviously blocked it with poo and pants so the store manager had to deal with it because everyone else refused to.