Police have just dropped home drunk DH

[MrsJaneyLloydFoxe]

… covered in vomit.

DH went out to work even straight from work, it was meant to finish at 8pm. Woken by DH at 1245 saying ‘come downstairs the police want to talk to you’ . We have three children including a 12 week old baby that was now awake and crying. Police officers said they had found DH vomiting on the pavement in town and had to bring him home. I was so horrified I couldn’t speak.

DH is covered in sick and incoherent. Has vomited again and I’ve left him on the sofa with a bucket.

What do I do? I am so angry. I want him to never do this again. He has a problematic relationship with alcohol - all or nothing - and he has done this in the past and has always said he will stop. This is the first time in about 18 months.

I am heartbroken. I hate him for this and I’m upstairs crying not knowing what to say to him. He showed no sign of remorse. I am sobbing. Please help me know what to say to him and how to handle this.

They actually say learn and move on in a post explaining why as grown adults they puke on themselves from time to time. Madness

Nah, there isn't any learning. Just disgusting behaviour on repeat.

If you honestly need to get polluted drunk to escape the rigoura of life with kids, you need to improve your parenting.

Drinking yourself into oblivion is a dysfunctional way to deal with stress and it's a horrible example of "adulting" to set your children.

@WorkItUpYourBangle
Irish = smiling benignly at a man who leaves his wife with a 12 week old baby and two vey small children to go on a bender?

Really????

I really don’t think it’s setting a good example to the children to see their father brought home by the police absolutely plastered without his phone or wallet. If you think that is acceptable behaviour then I would question your judgement as a responsible father.

He threw up all over himself, lost belongings and was bought home by the the police. This is called an extreme. Ok, pass out and fall asleep but he was staggering all over town. Not normal.

I think people are allowed chances - we all make mistakes , can get carried away in the moment, peer pressure, whatever - it happens.
What is not acceptable, what crosses boundaries and comfort levels is purely individual. What you tolerate will be different to what I tolerate.
If only we could all complete a questionnaire before we consider long term relationships or marriages with the other person, asking us how we would react to x y and z situations.
In the absence of that, we learn what is acceptable as we go along, we will make mistakes and we will upset our partners, but then we discuss, compromise and hopefully be adult about it all.

Surely if you love someone, care for your family and value the life you have built with them, once you are aware that something is having such a negative effect on them, it stops? I know, ideal world and all that and nothing is ever simple.

Just my thoughts and opinion, for whatever that is worth.

I don’t know why but I wanted to update the thread-
DH went sober after this incident, and hasn’t drunk alcohol since that night. He read the Allen Carr stop drinking now book and then just gave it up. He is happier, healthier, and our family life is better for it.

I love this, how brilliant!

Let him contact banks etc as it is his fault he has lost his wallet and he can explain the situation. I do feel sorry for you and your children. I am aware alcoholics only act when they reach rock bottom. I do hope your husband wants to become sober. I couldn't live with a man like your H.

So glad to hear your news OP.

OP has recently updated.

My update is to say he’s been 10 months sober now. My OP was in March 2025

Delighted that your dh realised what he could lose if he continued drinking.
i’m so glad your life with him is better.
Thank you for updating @MrsJaneyLloydFoxe

Positive result - well done to that man for realising what he could lose and doing something about it.
Its nice to hear when something good happens :-)
All the best for 2026.

Great update OP I was following this thread. Well done DH.

Great to hear your update.

Bloody hell, a big hug and ‘I’m proud of you’ every day ! I wish you both all the best.

And thanks for coming back and telling us 😊