What happens to the families of those who have committed heinious crimes?

[FaeFae]

Given recent heinious crimes and sentencing, set me thinking. How do about their parents, siblings and grandparents continue their lives?

What happens to them?

Dont know about his parents, but he has a brother in prison for murder too. Not sure whether nature or nurture.

Get on with their lives. They must live with the crime and sentence. In the case of Clifford you would deny his existence I would hope (other murderers, abusers are sadly available)

They suffer quietly with no real source of external support. If they’re lucky, they have friends and family who can remember that they are not responsible for the choices their child made.

I was wondering that. Do they disown/defend/support their family member?

This

Hopefully they can get on with (what must be) their ruined lives in peace.

Would you disown your family member if you were in that situation?

Very often family dysfunction plays a significant part in offending. Not always but more often than not. We went to a talk from a prison governor and he gave the stats, it is enormously high.

Do they move away ? I'd be scared about revenge attacks.

I know someone like this, she stays strong, masks, gets on with life etc. Its changed everything for her and her children. She dreads them getting older and finding out more and asking questions. It goes on and on for her. Pain is reinvented as the kids get older. Living with shame that isn't yours and worrying about peoples reactions if it comes up. She has a great supportive family and friends, career, which really helps.

I saw a documentary about a youth offenders institute where the families would visit and it showed that they still loved their family member and wanted to support them. A lot of the parents seemed ordinary and ‘normal’ and devastated about the whole thing.

The families of the boys who killed James Bulger were given new identities and moved away I think.
The mother of one of the Columbine killers was on Oprah once. She lost most of her friends afterwards, neighbours refused to speak to her etc.
I agree with a pp that in a large number of cases the criminals themselves come from chaotic homes with history of dysfunction and trauma.

It would depend on what they did and my relationship with them. Also what I believed about the crime and the verdict. Lucy Letby’s parents believe she was innocent.

I have two family members who committed serious crimes against children. Mostly the family claims they didn’t do it and pretends all is normal and doesn’t accept anyone claiming they need to be held responsible for their actions. Very good vibes only head in the sand. (We are NC and definitely think they did it).

Difficult to think about and work through.
Lucy Letby, her parents can doubt her guilty verdict. Clifford and Rudakubana
clearly can't. Perhaps that makes a difference.

I really don't know what I would do or how I would react. I can't imagine carrying on with my usual life though, associated to such a thing.

Both sons in prison for murder suggests they hold some of the responsibility. I hope they all suffer miserable lives.

In very extreme cases they can be given new identities, but this is exceptional rare due to the costs involved. They would likely have to be in legitimate danger of death.

Other than that they're left to deal with the repercussions of their relative's actions. They'll often move away of their own accord if they're able to. Many obviously aren't.

I knew a child who’s dad killed the mum and sibling
she wasn’t going well last time I heard

If my brother did what Kyle Clifford did, then yes I would. He wouldn’t be the brother I knew and loved if he did that, it would all have been a lie.

The Shipman family changed their names. Probably very sensibly.

Kyle Clifford's brother is also a murderer , I would disown my sons if they had done what they have

How do you reconcile yourself with your son being a murderer of 3 women or a rapist or an abuser of children. You've carried your child, raised him (I'll say him) and loved him and somehow it's gone wrong. In the case of people like Couzens or Clifford I don't think I could think of them and would never speak of them again. The Tate Brothers? Doubt I would be proud of their antics

This is the plot of we need to talk about Kevin.

It's written from the pov of the mother . We learn as you go through the book , her son is in prison for killing her daughter, husband and then a load of kids at the school

She is ostrosized in the community.

The end of the book she says she still has a bed for him when he comes out .

Most people now agree with them.

Not as serious as the ones mentioned but family 'situation ' destroyed our lives as we knew it. Luckily it wasn't in the news... You box it away ime. Or it really would destroy you. Only today actually nearly 15 years later I have accepted I need to ring the GP for some help with my mh...
Support I received here on mn is more than I have ever gotten irl.
And I am very grateful..