What happens to the families of those who have committed heinious crimes?

[FaeFae]

Given recent heinious crimes and sentencing, set me thinking. How do about their parents, siblings and grandparents continue their lives?

What happens to them?

Watch the movie instead, slightly different ending if I recall!

So much chat about Lucy Letby, which is derailing the thread. This isn't about her guilt or not. If we go back to the thread, I wonder where her parents are? Are the living just as they were?

And we haven't really thought about other criminals’families mentioned.

I have a relative through marriage who is also a convicted for having child pornography including some of a known child. We are also NC but other family members on in-laws side don’t believe conviction and act as though it never happened. We will never ever see that person again.

This!

These people must be able to compartmentalise to the Nth degree.

I'm NC with my sister for appalling stuff but not on this level.

I wonder if people actually turned their backs and never went near them again, there would be more of a deterrent?

Well Lucy Letby’s parents have been very visible by attending court every day of her ten month trial (apart from the last one when she was sentenced.) That is probably unusual.

I’ve just scoured the internet and I can’t find any mention of it either.

I suppose that so long as you think there's even the tiniest, tiniest chance that your child is actually innocent, or had a moment of insanity and isn't evil, or that the crime was a genuine accident, then the thought of not being there to support that actually innocent, or mentally ill, or unlucky, son or daughter will feel impossible.

Is easy for us to say that being 99.9% certain that the criminal wasn't framed (or momentarily crazy, or that it was an accident) is enough to justify disowning them, because we're not related. If you're someone's parent the temptation to cling on to that faint possibility, however unlikely, must be overwhelming.

I live in a town where a man shot dead his ex wife and mother in law.
There was also a man who murdered a priest and a man who he accused of being a pedophile.
I have no idea who the family members of these men are.
Thinking about it whenever big news stories come up like this I tend to feel more sorry for the family.. I remember at the time thinking about Wayne Couzens wife, it must have been horrendous for her to know what her husband had done. I do blame the family (parents) more when it's a child committing the crime. The boys who murdered James Bulgers parents from what I've read about them share the blame for their children's horrendous actions.

I have read a few books on Jeremy Bamber and how his biological parents and family were tracked down and found by the press and the shock that must have been to them. His father said he was adopted by good people. He looks a lot like his sister who is a reputable sculptor, it makes you wonder how he might have turned out if he hadn’t been adopted.

Also the children of Fred and Rose West and I think they had new identities. The son Stephen committed suicide, Mae had a new identity.

@qandatime I remember at the time thinking about Wayne Couzens wife, it must have been horrendous for her to know what her husband had done.

I did too. I always spare a thought for the wives of the "lovely bloke" who nobody would ever believed capable of doing such terrible thing, as they've had their lives blown apart and will have to carry stigma for something they had no part in.

I remember the partner of the man who murdered Jo Yates being hounded for a statement by the press, but she would only say that she sent her condolences to the family as Jo was the only one who mattered.

@Passenger42 He was motivated by greed so possibly the same if there was a lot of money involved. There are loads of cases of people killing their (biological) family members over money.

"His biological parents and family were tracked down and found by the press".

Good lord the press were brutal back then. They're a very long way off perfect now but thankfully that would never be allowed these days.

This is interesting though. A wife standing, publically ‘by her man’. Doesn't seem to think the actions of her husband are horrendous.

Scarlett Vickers

That’s psychological self-protection though isn’t it. I have worked with a number of relatives of murderers. I find some as you describe, but others who struggle with ambivalence, confusion and cognitive dissonance.

I believe it was Barry West who committed suicide. Awful.

The Wests don’t all have new identities.

Some of the children were under 18 when the crimes emerged and as minors were given new identities. Mae and Stephen certainly weren’t. (And yes, it was Barry who took his life.)

If my child committed a terrible crime involving abuse of someone else I would wish that they had never been born and I would wish that I had never been born. I don't think I would turn my back on them though.
Unless you are very good at self deception it must be an horrendous thing to live with.
It's difficult to know until you are in that situation.
I would divorce a husband but I don't know for how long I would attempt to delude myself that he might be innocent.
I know two families where a son has committed acts of serious sexual abuse. One of these families is very well off and the son had private education and went to Cambridge. They appear to be sensible, kind people as far as I know. The case hit national news.
The other family are middle class-think teacher and doctor. Their case was only publicised locally and they quietly moved away. Their daughter went to Australia.
I feel extremely sorry for both families. It has caused great distress.
There was a horrible crime involving murder of a little girl locally. The mother of the murderer was hounded out of her council house by people jeering outside and throwing bricks at her windows.
I know some families persist in defending their family member and insisting they are innocent but I think many families suffer terribly and get no sympathy.
I feel sorry for Lucy Letby's parents-it must be difficult for them to know what to think and whether she is guilty or innocent it must be horrible to live with.

I feel sorry for Lucy Letby's parents-it must be difficult for them to know what to think and whether she is guilty or innocent it must be horrible to live with.

I imagine they have no doubts at all that their daughter is innocent. That must be difficult to deal with though. Hopefully she will be released soon.

We keep being derailed by LL, I'm not sure why, when this is about more than her.

I imagine they have no doubts at all that their daughter is innocent.

They can never be 100% sure, they weren't there.

It’s not about her but I have wondered how they’ve coped as well. Their anguish has been evident.

So you start a thread about how the relatives of people convicted of horrific crimes feel about it but you only want the topics to be discussed that you have decided are ok? Perhaps not the best approach to take on a public forum?

Some relatives will think their loved ones are innocent. Some will think this because they are delusional and cannot bear to face the truth. Others will think it because their relative actually is innocent.

No, I haven't decided.
If you read back, the thread was stuck on LL and her innocence.

This isn't a thread about whether LL is innocent.

This isn't a thread about any convicted criminals’ innocence. It is a thread about how the families manage and what happens to them,

How they manage is very much affected by a wrongful conviction.

Maybe, but who has been wrongly convicted?

Can you not follow a conversation?