Things you’re guaranteed to find on mumsnet

[Kibble29]

I think there have been lots of serious topics on MN recently, particularly in relation to benefits, people allegedly faking mental health issues to get out of work etc.

So, in the spirit of some lightheartedness that we can all identify with, tell me some generic things you are guaranteed to find on MN.

For me, it’s in the Style & Beauty section.

A person will post and ask for recommendations for comfy joggers to wear when they WFH with no visitors or Teams calls. I think the average human would expect that people will link them to Next, H&M etc.

Instead, because it’s MN, they get “oh I love these ones. They’ve got a bit of a homeless vibe about them and obviously you wouldn’t wear them outdoors, but they’re sooo comfy and perfect for home!”

Then a link for an obscure company selling loungewear for £187 per item.

May I add:
My dh and I are trying to pick a name for our baby who is due in 3 days! We've finally narrowed it down and love all three of these, but can't decide! My dh really wants Edward, though.
Edward
Gregory
Warren

Replies:
What about Samuel?
I hate those. None.
How about James Edward, or Christopher Warren?
Pick the one you want.
LTB.

😂

Lentil pushers

Sorry but I love a good Potter....pottering around the house (doing little cleaning and tidying jobs) and pottering around the garden (small yard with pots!) sweeping leaves and doing a bit of weeding.
I am a serial potterer and could waste hours just wandering around....
I'm 41 for context!

Its doing nothing much slowly. But only if you're a certain class of person. So, you may 'potter' in your large garden with a glass of good white wine, whilst hubby throws together some salmon and new potatoes for lunch. But you could not potter in the front garden of your council house with a can of strongbow. This would be classed as being an idle layabout. See also 'snuggling'. Fine for whole afternoons if there is hot chocolate and your leisure wear is from Mint Velvet. However do not attempt this in your primark leggings, while gaming or this will depress you and you will be advised to take a brisk walk in nature.

I love threads like that. OP posts perfectly lovely names and the replies go completely insane.

”I don’t like those. Have you considered…

Ptolemy
Aloysius
Beelzebub
Ranger
Hatstand
Ubend”

I literally cry laughing at some baby name threads!

Love this! Incredibly accurate.

Omg.
'My neighbour has said hello over the fence. Should I build a taller fence or report him to the police for harassment?' 🤣

In the TV show Keeping Up Appearances, Richard says to Emmet "I'm supposed to be having a potter in the garden, but it's not big enough for a decent potter".

Op "my dear mum died 2 days ago and I'm struggling to cope. I just keep crying"

Reply "I think you need to go have a chat with your GP. Bereavement counselling will really help. Also consider some couples counselling with relate for you and your DH. Your children might also benefit from a chat with their pastoral support at school and some separate counselling for themselves"

I really hate all this shit bought over from America.

The sensible reply "so sorry you lost your mum. How you feel is completely normal. Time will make things feel just a little easier. Wishing you the best"

And lo and behold an unhelpful name thread is happening as we speak. 🤦‍♀️

Replies:
I would be pissed off if my parents had named me after my dad's job. Why is his job and acknowledging it more important than your child?

I'm not keen on those names, but it's not my child, imaginary or not.

I find it strange on MN that everyone looks for the most 'out there' name they can find

And the classic:

These are horrible names.
**

I'm laughing because there are so many criticisms on that thread! Only on MN, though. 😂🤷‍♀️

Or another classic that's currently running:

"I had my gender scan today and I'm confused about the potty shot "

Cue hundreds of posts about how hideous the phrase potty shot is (it is, but that's not the point) and how it's a SEX scan

In the end mNHQ had to step in and say 'now now ladies, play nicely' 🤣

<all content paraphrased before the vipers come after me>

Every mistake/error/fault made by a man is 'weaponised incompetence' no matter how minor, and if you don't agree then people feel sorry for your low standards...🤭

OP: Sorry I had to post, this is going to be brutal/polarising/controversial/upsetting.
Then post couldn't be further from the description.

OP: I'm thinking of changing my hair. DH likes it long, Dsis prefers it shoulder length, mum the same and BFF thinks a pixie cut would suit me. Round face, olive skin, currently have mid waist hair. Any thoughts?

First answer: Is he always this controlling?

OP: DH keeps leaving his coffee tin lid off. Tell me your other half's annoying habits.

Answer: I would clam shut! How do you have such low standards?

OP: who else is up, in A&E with hours of waiting.
Answer 1: Have you tried Nytol, always works for me.
Answer 2: Give your head a wobble, of course we're up. UK isn't the only place on earth you know, it's daytime over here.

Someone saying we'd all be replying differently if it were a man not a woman, then posting a supposedly reversed synopsis that leaves out most of the important details.

I do this too. Huaage chicken in the slow cooker, it does me and the cats for a week. I don't have a burly husband or five sporty skinny teenagers though and I don't earn 6 figures 😅

OP: Name changed as outing.
Continues to post regular topic.

Same OP: Oh sod it, may be outing but here are the photos.
Generic photo that could be anyone's.

Same OP: Can't possibly say the colour, have already posted too much outing stuff.
OK it's green.

Same OP: Oh no, everyone knows it's me now. Will have to name change again.

Hone cooked. What’s wrong with home-made???

Served. As in “dinner was fish fingers served with mash and peas”. I’m not running a restaurant, I’m not wait staff, I don’t serve food in my own home.

You forgot:
I'm going to have MN delete my post before the DM picks it up. 😂😂😂

The one I'm referring to has completely gone off the rails. It will be easy to find ... 👀

See also:
My SIL/best friend/cousin has ghosted me/not invited me to a wedding/baby shower/hen weekend.

I always think OP, are you a massive high maintenance neurotic PITA who will annoy everyone 😅

Folk who are utterly amazed to find themselves pregnant after having unprotected sex. People who can't afford basic food when they're earning £100k a year.

Someone asking 'AIBU' and then arguing with all the people that say they are.

Apostrophes in plurals (e.g.plural's).

So many posters do it and it's horrible. Please stop.

We're meant to see our ribs sticking out.

The one that makes me incandescent with rage and 🙄🙄🙄.....

Op "I've just had my 20 week scan and I'm sobbing..... I've already got 4 girls....."

1st op: 'oh op, think of all those sisters, it'll be lovely "

Op replies: " no you misunderstood, it's a BOY 😭"

🙄🙄🙄🙄 That one really grinds my gears. I fucking LOVE boys , the same way I LOVE girls!