Things you’re guaranteed to find on mumsnet

[Kibble29]

I think there have been lots of serious topics on MN recently, particularly in relation to benefits, people allegedly faking mental health issues to get out of work etc.

So, in the spirit of some lightheartedness that we can all identify with, tell me some generic things you are guaranteed to find on MN.

For me, it’s in the Style & Beauty section.

A person will post and ask for recommendations for comfy joggers to wear when they WFH with no visitors or Teams calls. I think the average human would expect that people will link them to Next, H&M etc.

Instead, because it’s MN, they get “oh I love these ones. They’ve got a bit of a homeless vibe about them and obviously you wouldn’t wear them outdoors, but they’re sooo comfy and perfect for home!”

Then a link for an obscure company selling loungewear for £187 per item.

Get your ducks in a row, whenever anyone says they are separating with their partner. I don’t know why but the saying really irks me.

Someone will suggest solving neighbourhood problems by “ popping a note through the letterbox “

People "shaking and crying" after extremely minor incidents.

I've read it on other forums. Never heard anyone say it in real life!

Has nobody mentioned taking shoes off in the house yet?

"Raise it with the teacher".

Adjectives such as "crass", and "grim".

Don't ask strangers on the internet - Google it! Incidentally, here is why I would rather ask Mumsnet than Google, especially if it's about something I was thinking of buying:

• Replies from Google might be AI-generated.
• Replies from Google will be in Google's business interest.
• I'm then more likely to be bombarded with ads related to what I asked.
• Replies from Google are likely to be full of sales patter, whereas somebody on MN might actually have real experience of what I am asking.

Why do posters have to put "home made" whatever potato wedges on the what's for dinner threads?

Cos frozen wedges are chavvy of course!!

when its all about getting married but yet daily post about how unhappy they are and want a divorce.
Get married for security be your own security.
Having a baby under 30 is far to young.
Men are always wrong even if its the poster at fault.
Most mNers own a home earn 50k and drive land rovers.
And the word boundaries never heard it so much in my life.

lol I know who says that in real life?! I’ve only ever seen that on here

This is hilarious 😂 😂 (and SO accurate)

😂😂😂

Op "I'm thinking of cooking Weiner schnitzel for tea tonight, has anyone got a good recipe ?"

Cue: "I'm sorry I haven't heard of that!? I'm not sure what you mean !? Is this a new kind of thing I'm not aware of ? Unless perhaps you mean wiener Schnitzel then I can give you a recipe. It's not clear what you meant from your OP"

Online recipes are a minefield anyway.
They are either some cooking blog, where you have to sift through paragraphs about how the dish was made by their nan, and how they loved the flowers in her garden, and they tried the dish on a foreign holiday and their nan made her own version.... blah blah blah.
Then you get a recipe with none of the fluff, but the reviews are along the lines of "I had no strawberries for this strawberry cake recipe, but I did have red onions so I used those instead. Cake was vile. I would not recommend this recipe".

"Please can I have a handhold. My DD is in A&E after coming up with a rash that wont vanish when pressed with a glass. She says her head really hurts too. The doctors are very concerned. I am so worried, I feel like I am going to loose my mind".

Don't you mean lose

🤣 that's what I was trying with my 'wiener' schnitzel example above but think I failed !

So true! "Loved the flowers in her garden" 🤣 nobody cares! Just tell me how to make the goddamn chocolate cake !!

No one cooks without a degree of aggression.
'chuck it in the oven'
'throw it in the airfryer'
'fling it in the slow cooker'
'hurl it onto a plate'

Etc, etc..

and as for the 'batch' cooking

Yawn

People don’t let their DC say the word toilet

"Any ideas for a job I can do from home so I can stay at home with my baby?" Followed by suggestions of joining my mlm by a hun

Agree with the first one in Style and Beauty. There's always a random poster who recommends an obscure clothing company. One recently made me laugh. A poster was looking for an affordable, mainstream cocktail dress, and a poster recommended an expensive niche clothing company with the weirdest, most ugliest dresses. One in particular was reminiscent of a goat herd/milk maid

The poster saying she wasn't "desperate" enough to "gobble" homemade brownies "plopped in a sack by some rando" recently felt extremely aggressive as well.

And no one goes anywhere. They "pop".

And everyone avoids going in their gardens because they might have to make eye contact with their neighbours or say hello to them. I get on OK with the neighbours but I'm apparently unusual.

People claiming to be “pottering in the garden” in those “what are you doing today?” threads.

What even is pottering? Very English pastime I think, so I don’t get it.

Boomer and boundaries are two words that irritates me !