Things you’re guaranteed to find on mumsnet

[Kibble29]

I think there have been lots of serious topics on MN recently, particularly in relation to benefits, people allegedly faking mental health issues to get out of work etc.

So, in the spirit of some lightheartedness that we can all identify with, tell me some generic things you are guaranteed to find on MN.

For me, it’s in the Style & Beauty section.

A person will post and ask for recommendations for comfy joggers to wear when they WFH with no visitors or Teams calls. I think the average human would expect that people will link them to Next, H&M etc.

Instead, because it’s MN, they get “oh I love these ones. They’ve got a bit of a homeless vibe about them and obviously you wouldn’t wear them outdoors, but they’re sooo comfy and perfect for home!”

Then a link for an obscure company selling loungewear for £187 per item.

'My DH is a great husband and father but .....'

And then the op lists a load of horrific stuff that makes Ted Bundy look like a saint.

Email the safeguarding lead!

Or the opposite - all their 17 year olds are driving and the posters (parents) are funding it!

My kids teacher has a sex life... can I report them? (was a thread on here today).

Anything and everything involving children is a ~safeguarding issue~ or ~safeguarding concern~. It’s basically lost many meaning on these site now.

Everyone is amazing parent who has firm boundaries and instils resilience in their DC.

Any baby name that’s not particularly middle-class is ‘dreadful’, ‘chavvy’, ‘just awful’ and saddling a child with a horrible name, but then everyone goes mad for names like Persephone.

“I’m wondering whether I should report myself to the police for this. I’m sick with worry and my DH has been driving around all evening trying to find the man so we can apologise in person.”

Also see - a thread started to discuss a celebrity
First reply- never heard of them

My DH didn't come home last night I'm worried sick

MN: have you tried calling him?

Don't worry he is home now

MN: have you tried calling him?
MN: have you tried calling him?

He's safe in bed now

MN: have you tried calling him?

And who cannot even understand when it's spelt out for them.

OP: I'm a non driver due to being almost fully blind and DH is refusing to take me to the shops until after he's finished watching football, even though there is nothing for the kids tea. AIBU?

Poster 1: Have you thought about learning to drive? Then you wouldn't be dependent on him.

Although might still expect drivers to ferry them about. Without offering petrol money.

Flapjacks and hollowed legged rugby playing teenage sons

I was driving through a dodgy area and saw what might have been a grey velvet futon out for the council to pick up... or it might have been an XL Bully dog. I took a photo with a potato, and posted here to rile people up.
Most comments said it was a sofa/pile of bricks/a fat lab/an actual hippo.

Hahaha!

”Speak to the Dheadteacher tomorrow first thing about this. Appalled at this, especially as the school is rated outstanding.”

Lending a friend something then posting on here with AIBU is friend a cheeky cow

boiling piss

Thread in telly addicts where everyone is enjoying a live watch along of a show (Christmas Gavin and Stacey being a case in point).

Poster: I've never seen this but I thought I'd better pop in and tell you that I still think it's crap and all of you are losers for watching.

Great, thanks.

7am BBC news reports a headline.

OP AIBU TO THINK THAT (insert raging argument against what was announced) with 400+ comments on how racist / phobic OP is as well as 400+ comments on how it is ok to be racist / phobic because people are entitled to have AN OPINION!!!!

Someone is struggling with cost of living, and the thread is full of 'just get a better job'

Yes because life is just like the Sims video games where you can ring somewhere, get hired, do some gardening to become more logical, and bam you're an Astronaut.

Forgot to attach gif 😂

Yep. Ordered the Gavin de Becker book and it was so over hyped. It was offloaded to charity within 24 hours.

Ok... I've got a few:

-everyone has their first child at 41
-everyone's DH earns a 6 figure salary
-everyone lives in the South east
-everyone is left wing (usually far left )
-everyone hates their MIL and is no contact because she refused to only feed 'Tobias' home made cous-cous
-everyone's DH is a cyclist

Or "take in ironing"

That was me 🤣

How desperate bonkers long running threads get. By the third one there is always a wannabe Pam Ayres spewing "poetry" and I use that term loosely all over them.

Nowadays you’re a Russian bot if you deign to be capable of independent thought.

Rogue apostrophe's.

😂😂