Do you parents/in laws help you or your children out financially or with childcare

[Warmsunnyevenings]

Just a nosy post really more than anything.

Almost everyone I know gets help from their parents or in laws.

Either through free, regular childcare. Or chipping in for the grandchildren's hobbies or things they need. Or giving grandchildren pocket money. Paying for giving money towards home renovations or paying for weddings, holidays etc.

Interested to know what help others get.

My lovely MIL has our eldest (3yo) Sunday evening-Monday evening every week. She also regularly helps out with babysitting. My parents give us financial help occasionally... they paid for our IVF and gave us cash when each of our two babies were born. I know we are very lucky, but we still feel over stretched!

We have had a lot of financial help. Roughly 1/3 of the cost of our house in cash as gifts for deposits. £20000 to put in a new kitchen. Fil pays everyone's fuel bills out of his energy company share dividends. A family holiday every year fully paid for. We don't need the support but it's a drop in the ocean for them.

I hope that's enough financial support for them but I expect it won't be..They are still in first job/ part time job so just starting out.

Well it depends how long they live with you but even if they are on a low salary, with next to no expenses, they ought to be able to save quite a lot in 3-4 years

Yes I do from my family, zero from in laws.

Its v transactional, which I don't like, but it's forced on me and I ve given up fighting it.

I’m astonished people accept money from their parents.

Why are you astonished?

In my world it's very normal for parents to help their children where possible - be that financially, emotionally or practically.

I’m astonished people accept money from their parents.

Parental incomes will vary considerably. My inlaws have far more than they want or need and like to spend it on their children/grandchildren. Fair enough if parents are struggling financially but when their savings/investments are climbing every year then why not?

Never had help from either side, financial or childcare. It was our choice to have kids and we didn't have any expectations of GPs to provide that kind of support. However, if childcare costs continue to be so extortionate, we will definitely consider helping out our own children when the time comes. I could cry many rivers at the amount of money nursery fees cost us, it set us back a long time when trying to buy somewhere to live.

Nothing from ours.

And we ended up subsidising most of our siblings.

I’m astonished people accept money from their parents

You must be very sheltered 😆

My mum helps as much as she can but not financially (as well as helping out with her other grandchildren).

My FIL actively favours just one of his children (and grandchild) because he a total coward and won't stand up to his utter bitch of a second wife (my DHs stepmother). And by favour I mean 100% favour. Help, support, financially or simply showing interest. And we get zero. We don't care about money but showing some interest would be nice but his wife doesn't want him to so he doesn't.

No money no childcare from either sets . But didn't expect it either.
Not in a nasty way . Just not anyone else's responsibility

Yes my parents helped with free childcare 2 day a week when DC were younger and later picking up from school once a week. They also help out in school holidays.

Are you going to do it for your GC?

My Mum has always helped put with childcare and my inlaws did until they got older and had health issues.

I also help out with childcare with my granddaughter where I can. I'm in my mid forties and work full time and still have a primary aged son at home so I'm pretty stretched - but my daughter and her partner both have hospitality jobs so I look after my granddaughter at weekends if they are at work.

Pils and my parents were wonderful, really loving, fun and involved gp's. They provided 3 days a care a week when ds was small when we went to work and they absolutely loved every minute of it. Sadly there's only my mum left but she has a lovely, close relationship with my now 19 year old as did my dad and pils. They also helped out when I was seriously ill or had appointments, had ds over for occasional sleepovers and loved trips out with us from time to time. Mum and ds have the best memories. They were/are the best parents too so i guess it feeds down to gc. I always feel extremely fortunate. They have always been so very kind and generous helping us out financially when it's been needed too.

Nope. My mother is passed, my father has Parkinson's and COPD and lives a good 40 mins drive away so can't expect any support there, he does give generously at birthdays and Christmas though to us and the children.

In-laws, FIL is blind and has a brain injury so absolutely couldn't leave children with him. MIL used to babysit during cute baby/toddler years but that all stopped 5/6yrs ago, she does regularly babysit my sister in law's two children though (surprise surprise!)

I do have a sister though who can be relied upon for babysitting during an emergency or necessary appointments. Other than that we just juggle it between ourselves.

Yes I have been very spoilt. My DM looked after my DSs two days a week when I worked. She loves her DGSs more than life itself and would find any excuse to have them overnight/ weekend/ holiday.
My DP and I really don't need any help financially at all, but she still insists on paying for or generously contributing towards holidays, she paid for our kitchen a couple of years ago and is about to pay for our bathrooms to be done. I think she'd just rather give us some inheritance now than when she's gone.
I'm not alone. All my friends have been given significant financial help and had very hands on parents when it came to their DCs.

It brings my DM so much happiness to help us out. We'd be denying her that joy if we refused.

My MIL and FIL were wonderful grandparents to my stepdaughter. 16 years later when I had my little one, FIL died when DD was 8 weeks old and MIL had a stroke 3 months later and has since passed away. My parents didn't willingly help much. Both passed away in the last five years too, so no grandparents alive now to spend time with DD8. It's a hole that's hard to fill. No help financially at all from either side.

MIL paid our moving costs, although it was in her interest as we were moving closer to her. DM used to buy us meat when she went to the butchers.

We don't have children together but DH has adult children from his first marriage. We don't help them as we're not in a position to do so. They have bigger homes than us so don't need it.

I think it depends on the family. My DM recently got a relatively small windfall (10k). We have no seen one penny of it nor would I expect to see anything. She’s retired, I’m not.

My mum would do child care occasionally for work purposes but would not commit to anything regular her choice. Money wise my parents bought us a piece of furniture when we moved in. Generous with DS Christmas etc but don't see him from one month to the next.
However they've since committed to looking after my sisters children two days a week (both under 3) and paid for my sisters big wedding, gifted her a car and or probably other things.
I prefer that I don't owe them anything if I'm perfectly honest

MIL did school pick up and after school for 6 years and a fair few over nights if we both worked away. She gave us money towards a car a few years back and is generous with DS

No financial help from either set of parents but my parents were happy to babysit/ have the children to stay. DM was my childminder for 18 months and loved it. We’ve done loads of babysitting for our GC and had them all in turn, one day a week when they were little.