Would the police do anything?

[DontKnowWhatToSay25]

I wrote to someone telling them if they attempted to contact me or my family I'd contact the police. I've blocked them and their partner from all sm etc.

I then contacted their partner with a separate message.

They've written to me together.

Can I call the police?

Then do it. The police will not care or do anything but you will have been true to your word.

FFS - it's the OP who is doing the harassment. Read the thread!!!

But OP hasn't been harassed, has she? It seems a very different situation. OP is sending instructions to her husband's former lover to move out and then telling the woman not to contact her about it, as far as I can work out.

Grow up, OP. The OW has not tried to contact you. YOU wrote an email to HER DH telling him he wasn't allowed to see your mutual friends. He wrote back from both of them to say they weren't going to address your points and had every right to see their friends. Which they do. The only person harassing here is you. Point your anger in the direction of YOUR DH.

She's to blame for him cheating? What did she do trick him in to having an affair with her 🙈

But this couple had never contacted OP before. There’s not a long history of them harassing her as there presumably was with your DH and his mother.

She initiated contact with them in order to issue a completely unreasonable set of demands. They simply told her that they would not comply with her demands.

There is absolutely nothing actionable here from a police perspective - if anyone is guilty of harassment/threatening behaviour, it’s the OP.

You can’t stop them contacting mutual friends! It’s not up to you to tell people who they can and can’t see. Also you’d be in danger of being in trouble for wasting police time if you contacted the police over this. Nobody has committed a crime.

Also, the affair wasn’t just her fault, it’s your husband’s too. Why have you forgiven him?

But the Op has said she wanted no contact and then contacted them agsin telling they couldn't contact mutual friend, s
I don't think new harassment laws, cover childish tit for tat nonsense.

It sounds as if you have had a horrible time OP but no laws have been broken (Unless you are in a position to make laws in this country?)

What do you expect the police will do when you contact them?

Although clearly bad, cheating is not against the law here. The police won't be involved.

Your mutual friends are free to see who they want. The police won't be involved in that either.

Why on earth wouldn't you read the replies? This baffles me so much on MN.

This is nuts!! They can see whoever they like. Complete waste of police time and resources.

FFS
Did you also write to your husband and tell him he's a cheating scumbag?

Harassment is when a ‘person behaves in a way intended to cause you distress or alarm’. Replying to nasty messages from the OP to say ‘sorry but you can’t tell us what to do. We want to move on’ is absolutely not harassment.

You cannot stop autonomous adults contacting their other autonomous adult friends!

You can chose who you socialise with but you don't get to dictate what other people do or who they talk to.

I'm sorry you're hurting OP. The pain of infidelity is indescribeable. That said, you don't get to throw your hurt at them and then use the police as your shield when then respond. Ignore them and focus your pain on the person that has inflicted it on you, your husband.

You sound unhinged... I know its a mad concept but your word is NOT 'law'.

Something is not magically illegal just because you decide you think it should be. The police have actual crimes to deal with, they aren't there to be a parent figure you taddle on to make a point when you feel someone is not doing what you said they should.

This is like my first boyfriends mother who called the police because she didn't like me and told me not to date her son. We just left and went elsewhere but I would still LOVE to hear that conversation went '999 whats your emergancy? well my son is dating a girl and Ive decided I don't like her'.

Why do you think the police will be interested in? They barely come out for crimes, let alone people responding to a letter.

You are going to learn that people don't hold others in the same regard as you do, nor do they stand by the wounded party.

You can not make anyone do anything or NOT do anything. We none of us have the slightest control over another living being. Your husband betrayed you, he knew what he was doing and did it anyway.

Sure these people are not great, but you will sadly see that your friends will stay in touch with whoever they like. Hopefuly staying in touch with you but also with them. they wont want the drama, although at the same time will pick over the gossip for sure.

With regard to your wider friends group, you sending this letter could even have harmed your chances at coming out 'on top', they will think you are crazy, and that as a couple you and the cheat are somehow a bit of a mess, and something they don't want in their circle.

You have no control over any of this. I get why you would want to have them tarred and feathered and pilloried in front of the world, but that is often the opposite of the way things go.

How are things with H now? is he working on regaining your trust? are you in counselling? do you have kids etc? how long have you been together?

Is looking over your shoulder the way you really want to spend the rest of your life?

Sorry op, but this is spot on. You chose to stay with a cheating husband - fine your choice. Just as he chose to cheat - it’s on him, not just her. And of course the OW and her husband can see who they want, trying to call the police on them for that is crazy. You do sound a bit batshit - perhaps focus on your marriage and your husband rather than other people..

Are you still with your husband?

Try contacting the Jeremy Kyall show first

The police will do nothing but laugh at you behind your back
You would be wasting time.
You cannot dictate who people see or where they go . Don't be so daft .
Sounds like you don't trust your dh. Which you shouldn't.

VERY INTERESTED in your husband's mother sounds like an overstatement.