What do to? Operation and no childcare...

[daisydaisyrose]

Not sure if there is any solution to this, I need an operation and currently have just been told I am booked in for it in just over a week (very short notice, must have been a cancellation, I was told to expect three to six months at least!)

It will require two nights minimum in hospital and a six-eight week recovery with no driving for at least six weeks... I have zero childcare for dd7. Lone parent with old and incapable mother who would rather walk barefoot across hot coals than help me, all friends etc have their own children/work etc so can't really help either.

Any suggestions? I am going to have to call and say I can't have it, aren't I?

If you have pet insurance, they might cover the cost of your dog to be in kennels while the policyholder is in hospital. Ours has this and I’ve claimed back with the discharge letter as evidence. Hope you get things sorted.

I would absolutely help out any friends of my DC by having their child overnight - even if i didnt know the parents well. Im sure a lot of people at your DCs school will too. Please ask some of your DDs friends parents as Im sure they will be a few that will gladly help you - even if its just 1 night each spread between a few when youre actually in hospital.

I would also help with taking your DD to school everyday whilst you recovered and I know that many other parents would too. Whenever a plea for help goes out on DCs school year whatsapp group there are always many offers to pick up/drop off DC when their parents are ill etc.

People cant help if they dont know you need it so please ask!

I think this is good. No pressure on anyone but I bet some would offer, some would do it as a favour and others might be glad of the few pound. You can pay it forward when fully recovered.

Someone who doesn't have a dog might leap at the chance to have a visitor for a few weeks. If someone I knew were in your predicament I'd gladly take the pup for an extended stay.

Rescue groups may know of fosters. My sister is retired for medical reasons but nearly always has a dog staying with her either pending adoption or in emergency. Last few weeks she had a Chihuahua whose adopter had an operation.

If this was out in my kids class whatsapp id take the child for those few days / nights. It is no extra work. Lots would at our primary. One woman found out her mum died while she was on the school run and another parent told her to go get sorted and she would look after the younger child that day as she had her younger child anyway.

ask first. Dog will be fine for a few days not getting a proper walk. Mine acts like he is living his best life when i am sick in bed. Absolute couch potato.

Friends have used https://www.workaway.info/ in similar situations. It's bit short notice to find someone you trust enough for sole charge of your dc, but maybe for when you are back home and need an extra pair of hands. Some have become life long family friends. You provide bed and board and they help out for a few hours a week

Foster care for a few days is absolutely fine no different than a friends mum. Put your daughter first she needs you to be well it’s actually not considering her needs at all to contemplate cancelling. I don’t mean that horribly at all you just are not thinking logically dye the difficult situation you are in.

I'm a single mum, and I do understand how you feel about asking for help. But honestly, I would offer to look after a child in heartbeat for a woman in your situation, even just for an acquaintance like a school parent, if their kid felt ok staying with us. I've done it a few times over the years in exactly this kind of situation.

Does your DD have best friends at school? I would ask ask those parents first as they are doing the school run there anyway. If no luck then ask your friends. People love to help other people, don't underestimate this. I would do this for you no question. Kennels for the dog. You've got this! Good luck for the op.

Are you in London OP?

Ask at the school. They may have a pastoral care team who may be able to put something together to help you out.

Aww. Sounds scary but please ask your friends.

I have arranged to work from home before so I could have my friends daughter for a midweek sleepover for my friends work things and I wouldn’t hesitate to do it again. My friend’s daughter was a little late for school for a couple of days as I had to do two drop offs, but that wasn’t awful.

I’d rather my friend and her daughter felt safe than not be asked. Takes a village and all of that.

Also for dog care you can look at Pawshake or Rover to get someone to look after your dog while you are in hospital, and for walks while you are unable.

Also ask your dog walker for recommendations for someone to look after the dog. You need help and I am sure you are a lovely person, people will do their best to help you.

If your daughter has any play dates with friends ask them first. Again, I would be happy to help out one of my daughter’s friends mums.

A night nanny? I believe they are around £20 per hour. Or private carer?

Do you have a family worker at your child's school that you can approach for help? They may know what options are available in the area or families to approach.

I bet it will be another single mum who steps up, even though they have so much to be dealing with. It’s always the people who know what it’s like who go the extra mile.

Could you afford an agency nanny for a few days?

Do you have any family? Even fairly distant, a cousin or someone like that. I wouldn't worry about her going to school those few days and offer to pay all expenses.
I would be wary of posting anything on group whatapps etc though. If you really don't have anyone I think you have to pay for a nanny which will be a lot but I am not sure what else you could do.

Surely you have friends, family or Dad, dad's family. It's an emergency y so I am sure they would rally round good luck

Alternatively, I just googled Nannies UK and there are lots of services. I'd hire asap to let nanny/dc get to know each other, move nanny in as well. Keep on for a month after surgery, living in, and play it by ear after.

Are there any TAs at school who do babysitting? At my DCs nursery there is a boy who is regularly looked after by one of the nursery staff. He lives in the house while the mums away - she’s a single mum who travels for work. He’s my dc’s favourite nursery teacher so they are wildly jealous and wish I had to go away for work for a week too 😂

Just wanted to say I hope you sort it. Few people can really imagine being alone with your child and no support but for some of us its reality.

We can plod through as this is our life but sometimes you just need someone when there's no one.
Best of luck OP

Does the school have a family support officer. ? is "homestart" or similar in your area? They may be able to offer help/support. i think if know dates the essential stopover care dd requires is primary issue.if cn do-but not go school mybe?

Ask people in your community to help for the hospital stay. Put dog in kennels. Speak to school about her getting to school once you are home. Activities may have to be missed for first few weeks. Maybe look for a local babysitter to give a bit of respite. Batch cook now , get some easy foods, plan films/games to do on the bed with your dd.

For a couple of days, I would think a good friend would figure it out how to help and juggle. It’s not like you’re going on a jolly. People’s lives are busy but there’s always generally some wiggle room. Just ask

Join your local Nextdoor group and ask for doggy care on there. There are very kind folk around who would pitch in. Maybe someone local has suggestions re emergency childcare.