What do you think of open/polyamorous relationships?

[chocolateychurros]

My opinion is that well it's not really any of my business and it's a free country, but personally I don't believe that it's possible to truly love more than one person.
To me love means loyalty.

It definitely wouldn’t work for me and I don’t understand it. It strikes me as being unable to find all the qualities you want in one person, so having to look elsewhere for the rest.

But if it makes a poly person happy, then I don’t need to understand it. And if everyone is being honest with each other, that’s a million times better than someone being hurt because they’ve been cheated on. Each to their own.

Open relationships: I can’t imagine being in a long term relationship where I have to constantly worry that my partner could be giving me a serious disease.

polyamorous: I can see how in unique situations a group could come together and find happiness. There is potential for abuse just as in a couple. If it is polyamory that is part of a larger culture and in a particular sex pattern, then the potential for abuse is far too high because the ratios of available participants is skewed.

Wouldn't be me, but each to their own.

I just cannot fathom it at all tbh

usually involves someone (ie a man) having his kink and the submissive partner going along with it so he doesn't leave her.

I think it is very very rare that both partners (or all partners in case of poly) are equally happy about it

If both people in the relationship are happy with the arrangement, it’s nobody’s business.

Not for me, and I think it's often very one-sided- one partner who wants to sleep with other people and one who has agreed to it in order to keep some semblance of a relationship going. As such, it's the sort of arrangement that often leads to unhappiness and exploitation.

Do what makes you happy...

...But I can't fathom how anyone has the time! I also wonder how people work out the logistics in a fair way when things like childcare, shared finances etc are taken into account.

Sounds like a lot of hassle to be honest though I can understand the appeal of sexual variety and different partners bringing out different sides of you (though to solve extent friends can do that, and that's a lot less faff).

Commitment-phobes who just want a ticket to be able to shag around, and not have to be faithful to one person. They just can't help themselves, poor lambs.

‘ If both people in the relationship are happy with the arrangement, it’s nobody’s business.’

I don’t think you have quite grasped the principle of polyamory. If only two people are involved, it’s just good old fashioned monogamy. Poly =many, so at least one extra person.

I am in an open relationship. Not going to share the boundaries we have as it's not relevant but it works very well for us. I also don't believe it's possible for most people to be in love with more than one person at once in a way that is positive and healthy (cheaters can I believe - but they do it by being deceitful) but I'm sure it works for some. I know a number of genuinely poly people who seem to make it work as well as anyone ever makes their relationships work.

Open relationships are different to polyamory.

It's probably the opposite of what I'd be comfortable with so it is difficult to imagine how people feel emotionally comfy and secure. But if it works for all parties involved then that's fine.

It strikes me as being unable to find all the qualities you want in one person, so having to look elsewhere for the rest.

That's a perfectly good reason to be poly. Why would you expect one person to give you everything you need?

The ones I have seen have not been happy. The participants I have known have had multiple psychological and psychiatric issues. Perhaps someone manages it healthily, but I’ve never seen it.

Beyond that anecdata, I have no interest in the idea.

It’s not really about love though, necessarily. I can sort of see a situation where a long term partner doesn’t want sex, the other does, but they don’t want to split

Recipe for disaster

Myth no1 about poly relationships.

I think they're a fetish.

I think everyone is different and what works for one person won't for another. I'm happy for people who are happy in their relationships as long as no one is being hurt.

I was referring to open relationships.

I used to work in a field where I met a lot of polyamerous people, and people in open relationships.

In general they seemed a lot happier than monogamous people imo.

Not a lifestyle for me, but I can see the appeal.

@pinkyredrose a myth is a widely held but false belief. Having encountered this lifestyle via friend's and family experiences and on a professional level via my work, not to mention the numerous documentaries they've made over many years about this subject, I'd say it doesn't fit the definition of myth.

I don't want to do it, but I don't care if other people I do.

I'm a lesbian and hang out in very liberal circles. I've known a few poly people, and it genuinely works well for them. One of my long time friends has two partners. The partners don't date each other, but know each other and get along well. My friend always says you are friends with different people for different reasons, so why not partners. From my experience, poly involves very good communication and a lot of trust. Most meet their partner's partner and need to approve. I think it takes someone very secure in themselves.

I actually think many people would be happier poly. Think how often cheating happens. Not everyone is cut out for monogamy.

On a practical level, I think it might be confusing for children. And also, I don't understand how anyone has the time. One partner to keep happy is enough for me 🤣

Me and my wife are both open to sexual experiences with others (we'd both need to be involved), but not dating around.

Honestly it's just no one's business. Somone bring poly etc has 0 impact on anyone else.