I am a narcissist

[ohyesido]

I am. But I'm not a horrible person.

I lack empathy but I've learned that it isn't nice to manipulate people.

Yet I still do, only in such a way that no one can ever really accuse me of it. Because I twist my words to indicate that I have everyone's best interests at heart.

Everything I do is calculated to ensure I get my own way while maintaining a facade of good intentions

Can anyone relate?

Reading a lot of your comments, I would more say that you were and are just simply trying to control your environment - so that you don’t have to do anything that makes you uncomfortable or that leaves you not knowing socially perhaps what to do.

I haven’t read the whole thread but the fact you say your adult son is similar to you in not caring about others, i wonder whether in fact you might be autistic and not a narcissist at all?

@Wonderi I don't believe I have described him as a dick. I said he has zero respect for others, but did not give specifics.

He is extremely self confident and doesn't suffer fools.

I believe tiger think you're being clever by making remarks about my DS, and as such I have nothing more to say to you

No, just a self-absorbed fantasist with indigestion.

My understanding of narcissism is that one’s ego is prioritised above all else, but to a delusional level. A member of my husband’s side of the family is narcissistic and it has had a fairly damaging impact upon their children.

Psychopathy is a lack of empathy and connection with others, and it is this which I suspect I have to some degree. I have considered whether I may be autistic but I’m certain I’m not as I have no real traits. To me the OP sounds like an armchair psychologist’s mixture of the two, but the disdain with which they post seems forced to me - as if they’ve read that a narc should be aloof and so every response must follow this pattern

your showing empathy right here in this post by caring about how your son treats other people. Would you be empathetic if you saw someone get badly hurt physically, like a bloody gory situation. It yes, then your not a narcissist, your just like everyone else who is looking out for their own benefit. Otherwise you’d be a martyr.

Ha ha exactly…

How annoying. I was hoping you'd surprise us with florist or painter decorator. you have a predictable job.

Pls give lessons, as I'd love to have some of your skills

@wizzywig I have not revealed what my job is, but you would be surprised

Other people most likely do have a sense that something is off with you. Instinct is a wonderful thing and people will sense that you really don't care.

I'm intrigued by the dynamics of your relationship witt your son - is there a lot of conflict (because you are both self serving) or do you understand one another and work well together?

By extension, have you met other people who you recognise as having a similar personality type to you? If so, what did you think of them?

Already called it. Nothing in the least surprising about that. Yawn.

@Brusselsproutsarethebest what do I do for work then?

Do you have friends?

This Dr Ramani?

Most clinical psychologist would agree that narcissism is a personality disorder.

Of course you can have narcissistic traits and not be a narcissist.

Oh, I'm sorry if I hit a nerve.

It was a smoothie

Mental health professional. You’re not as stealth as you think. That would actually take a degree of intelligence.

@cheeseismydownfall my son and I have a problematic relationship as we both disapprove of each other's lifestyles. But we do understand each other.

@Brusselsproutsarethebest I don't know where you got that from. Wrong.

@Dollydaydream100 I'm sorry you feel the need to deflect

You may be right but I have always had lots of friends and am generally "popular". I still have friends I made at Secondary school so I can keep friendships to a certain extent, although thinking about it they all live a distance away and we only see eachother a few times a year. Maybe if I saw them more often they would realise. I have some local friends but not many.
I think people DO like me on one level but perhaps people who get to know me better realise
I just find it all very interesting, I am what I am, I can't change but I don't harm anyone and probably do more for charity etc than most.
A lot of people like me do charity work etc to add to the disguise. I don't do good things and declare them on SM, I actually don't care what people think, most of them are idiots anyway. However, I enjoy the positive attention I get from my charity work so everyone wins

Certainly nothing that would actually be properly challenging, such as the STEM fields, since you do not strike me as particularly bright.

How about other people with the same personality type as you? Have you met any? Do you respect those characteristics in other people, or do you interpret them as flaws when they present in someone else?

Is your life mainly focused on getting validation and praise, with people agreeing with your opinions and decisions?

That’s how I would envisage a narcissist’s life to be for the most part.

My MIL and one of my old friends (since grey rocked) are both narcissists, different types, but they have many common traits. Both will go to such lengths to showcase how clever and ‘right’ they are. It’s very much compulsive as they cannot handle being seen as wrong.

One of them talks endlessly about how much they do for people, to try and ‘look’ like some sort of hero, they believe they are, they think no one else can see it (some can / some can’t). It’s quite tiresome.