Why do men post on mumsnet? Asking after another thread.

[Mrsredlipstick]

I'm posting after a few questions on other threads have been raised regarding male posters. (I'm not that bothered personally but I have been stalked and abused during my time on MN)
The frequency of posters being offended by males joining the debate is growing.
I only use three SM platforms so I know nothing of Reddit etc. The question is why do men want to post on mumsnet?
FWIW I wouldn't dream of posting on dadsnet. I also don't touch certain boards as they feel smutty.

To be honest I'm guessing it's the same reason many childless middle age women I know are on here. It generally makes hilarious reading.

Oh come on, that's hardly the same as misleading people into thinking you're the opposite sex
🤣🤣
No misleading going on.
It's just a name. I have always been honest in my posts both when I've asked for advised and offered it.
My username is no one's business.

personally I post here because it's anonymous and I enjoy reading the threads.I am aware it's mainly women but I m not here because I am seeking out a female only space. Just like I am not seeking out 'Mums' specifically.

I can see why women on a rape or sexual assault thread would not want a man advising them. That would be entirely inappropriate.

But if I lived with an alcoholic, or, heaven forbid, had to help my young children through the death of their other parent, the sex of the person sharing their experience and offering help and support, wouldn't matter to me in the slightest, and I'd be surprised if it mattered to anyone in that situation.

Having an opinion is saying that you'd rather men weren't here.

Tellinga specific person that they shouldn't be here and should leave, is not opinion, it's telling them what they should do. And you have no authority to do that on this board.

@YoungGunsHavingSomeFunCrazyLadiesKeepEmOnTheRun Thank you. I shall take your views under advisement and forward them to MumsnetHQ for their consideration.

I don't mind men posting on MN, or reading it (hell's bells, it might enlighten men a little into how women tend to 'tick' rather than getting their impressions from porn or angry reddit subs) but every so often I read a post by a man which makes me shudder- e.g. yesterday when some male poster felt the need to tell us he is 'sometimes turned on by breasts' in the middle of an interesting discussion.

It really jarred me, Did we actually need to know that? (to be fair, it was vaguely in context to the discussion, but still... way TMI.)

@MinistryofThyme I couldn't agree more.

Plenty of women living with alcoholics have been abused.

Where did I tell a specific person they should leave?

All I've said is that I don't think men should be here, and given the reasons why I think that, as is the thread subject.

What an odd thing to do 🤔

I don’t mind posts from men. Maybe they want a female perspective?

I really do dislike the ones where they’re basically saying (dressed up in ‘I’m a supportive, equal dp’) they want more sex.

This mainly.

I read far more than I write. I don't think I've ever started... Man here sort of thing.

If/when I respond I try to do it in a neutral way. Usually when I feel I've something to offer, have experienced similar, and sometimes when someone has wound me up with a stupid or offensive comment.

To be honest I'd rather read/be on a mums net rather than a dad's net sort of site as comments are usually more measured and lack that sort of man's man type of undercurrent. Less competitive maybe. Less show off.

I understand that some men take things far too far - messaging, unwanted comments etc. Sorry about that.

I think it's better to have men on here, it makes it a more diverse platform. MNHQ moderate any of the pervs.

I think it's better to have men on here, it makes it a more diverse platform. MNHQ moderate any of the pervs.

You can't see why women traumatised by men wouldn't want advice from a man?
I think everyone can understand that women who are traumatised would not want advice.

My view is that Mn is an open forum and should remain so. It has a fabulous range of topics that benefit everyone.

I think women absolutely need a private space to talk about private matters that are traumatising to them.MN isn't the place though. It needs to be a site that can vet and guarantee it is a female only space
Personally I would not post anything too personal on here and generally keep things lighthearted.

I think it’s telling that the best the men here (together with the oh-so-desperate Pick Me’s) can do is trot out that they’re allowed to be here.

Men are allowed to sit wherever they like on a train. That some would choose to sit opposite a women in an otherwise empty carriage is creepy as fuck.

Men are allowed to browse freely in department stores. That some would choose to loiter in the lingerie section is creepy as fuck.

Men are allowed to participate in fitness classes. That some would elect to join a Zumba class is creepy as fuck.

Just because something is permitted, does not mean that it’s appropriate. Whether people want to cling to the MN tagline in its literal sense or not, this is very clearly and very really a women’s site. That some men choose to be here - and defend their presence so unapologetically and, I would say, arrogantly - is as peculiar as it is oppressive.

I accept that we can’t stop them coming here. Just as I accept that we can’t stop the men in real life who encroach on female spaces. It’s a sad state of affairs, but not a new one.

@Kittygolightlyy indeed-how many posts do we get from men on elderly parents or style&Beauty or general health -- as I posted before the amount that appear out the woodwork , many ( not all) offering their usual 'all men do it' in response to threads on porn or sex or prostitutes etc is incredible - it's as if they scour threads 'just' for anything sex related-

and then the ones who start threads- it's nearly always about lack of sex disguised under the coy headings of stuff like 'not enough intimacy 'or 'no connection'

'

And there it is.

Also, this poster found communities elsewhere. Ones for men. But because of his ‘values’ (they’re always ‘allies’, aren’t they, these men who think this space is for them) he couldn’t use them anymore. So he comes here and finds emotional support from women, makes them do the work. But it’s okay, because he really needed it. Because he couldn’t find anywhere else. Except the places he rejected, because they didn’t meet his standards. But we do. because all he really wanted to benefit from and bask in the emotional labour of women.

It is ALWAYS the way. Notable exception, tbf, for PigletJohn, who comes when calls, helps in an entirely practical manner, and disappears again.

Double post

I am sending thanks to the women I agree with but I want to publicly say, "Thanks," to @lookatthathorse

Yes, men can be here. But why do they want to homestead in this space once their important question has been answered.

I alway think of this as a parenting forum so I assume a decent percentage of the users will be male. More women will use the site because I’d imagine men have more interest that what MN covers.

What I find odd is childless women using the site or users pushing agenda that aren’t related to parenting.

Men are allowed to participate in fitness classes. That some would elect to join a Zumba class is creepy as fuck.

I don’t get this point? I’m sure it’s a man that teaches Zumba in my gym.

Maybe some of the posters on here who are at odds with owner of if this site on this subject, should start up their own, just as they're telling the men on here to do.

Clearly if you don't want men or childless/childfree women in 'your' space, you need to create a new one and get proof of ID from all your members.

What Mumsnet is, is a place of great value for anyonee who needs support, information, advice, or to vent. And men are welcomed by Justine and HQ, as are women without children. You either accept that and stop trying to bully them out, or you vote with your feet and create your own safe space.

There are many reasons but until I came here I genuinely didn’t understand how much hate there is for us it has certainly changed me some for the good and some for the bad never the less an interesting insight.

It's far from just a parenting forum.

Here's the list of topic branches. And opening even one will open lots of smaller subject 'twigs'

https://www.mumsnet.com/talk

As others have said, googling the most random of subjects will often bring you to Mumsnet.

How on earth has it changed you for the bad @Theohippopotamus?!