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Original poster

Beautiful child, how to respond

264 replies

Mlovelybabies · 20/02/2025 18:37

This obviously sounds like a not-stealth boast, but how do I respond to comments about DD’s appearance? She is 2 and DS is 6. They’re both adorable but DD is especially striking, people cross the street just to comment on her beauty. (She looked like a potato when she was tiny, with jaundice and frequent eye infections! People would peer into the pram, shudder and couldn’t even bring themselves to say she was cute). I know that looks can change and beautiful babies might not be beautiful adults but I worry about the effect on her esteem, and on DS’s esteem. She’s a bit shy and just looks down when they comment on her looks. And I know DS feels jealous of the extra attention she gets even though he’s not particularly hung up on appearance.

my response currently is to say, “yes, they’re both very sweet/lovely/wonderful/etc” and not give it any more time. Does that seem appropriate?

OP posts:
CarterBeatsTheDevil · 20/02/2025 19:55

Oh, OP. Up until they're about 2 there is this kind of golden period where strangers are very easily engaged by their tiny perfection and fawn all over them. I can still remember the day the bubble popped for my (now 7 and indisputably gorgeous) DD - we were on the train, she had just turned 3 and she just wasn't getting the automatic adoration that she was used to. I still remember her looking slightly baffled as the people around her just read their phones. She was still gorgeous, she'd just stopped being a baby and become a small child.

lentilbake16 · 20/02/2025 19:57

Utter tosh. Donate to charity for some poor kid who has nothing.

LikeWhoUsesTypewritersAnyway · 20/02/2025 19:58

HelloNorthernStar · 20/02/2025 19:09

Sorry I know people have already commented on this but, people cross the street just to comment on her beauty - sure they do 😂

This. ^

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Families
checkingocd · 20/02/2025 19:58

FairyBlueEyes · 20/02/2025 19:37

It was a couple of weeks ago, word for word.

Show quote history

I’m very sure I saw it a few months ago too

TheignT · 20/02/2025 19:59

neverthelastone · 20/02/2025 19:11

People used to comment in public similarly on DD, who was an absolutely angelic-looking toddler — round chubby face, blue eyes, blonde ringlets, full china-doll looks.

If it helps, OP, there’s a very limited time when they look so cherubic. Once in school, and in a school uniform with lunch all down the front, gappy teeth, magic marker on their hands and messy hair, onlookers stop making the lovely comments. Nobody admires a grubby-looking primary school child 🤣 Around about 8 y o they all look like grubby potatoes.

So enjoy it while it lasts! It’s a time-limited problem and your DD won’t even remember!

Edited

I generally agree but one of mine went to school with a very pretty little girl. They'd all go into school with clean uniform, socks pulled up, hair brushed. 29 would come out with hair messed up, socks rolled down, dirty knees etc and she'd come out looking exactly like she did at 9 am. It was very very weird particularly as she was active and generally played football which ended up with grubby kids. I decided it must be witchcraft.

Sugargliderwombat · 20/02/2025 19:59

People on here are so jealous 😆 of course you get stunning children sometimes!

Blimeywhy · 20/02/2025 19:59

purpleme12 · 20/02/2025 18:52

Very familiar thread 🤔

It does look familiar.

OP have you posted before? Exact same thing?

IWishIWasABaller · 20/02/2025 19:59

My friend had an issue like this with her two daughters. People would go out of their way daily to comment on the younger ones looks- her beautiful hair colour , her skin etc while either ignoring the other child or making a rude comment about her red hair or freckles. My friend just started saying yes both of my daughters are beautiful but they are so much more than their looks thank you . Seemed to put a stop to it

midlifeattheoasis · 20/02/2025 20:02

"people cross the street just to comment on her beauty."

Do they, though??

PorkHollywood · 20/02/2025 20:04

Sugargliderwombat · 20/02/2025 19:59

People on here are so jealous 😆 of course you get stunning children sometimes!

Jealous?! I don’t think posters are doubting there are beautiful children 🙄

Sunnydays25 · 20/02/2025 20:05

I believe you!

My sister had a beautiful tiny blond fairy child, who made my brown haired 1 year older DD look very ordinary in comparison, and there were a few times when we were out together when strangers would make a big fuss of her while ignoring my DD, who i don't think ever noticed. I thought they were just a bit odd.

My DNeice hasn't grown up to see her value in her looks, but I do understand how a parent can want to balance the messages their DD is getting that looks are the most important thing about her.

I would always tell a parent that their baby was beautiful, but I'd never tell a child they were beautiful, I tend to say their shoes are cool, or I really like their teddy.

Thornybush · 20/02/2025 20:05

LifesTooShortForYourNonsense · 20/02/2025 19:19

My DD’s specialty was getting accosted in Italian supermarkets - I used to keep a tally and rib her about it! She was blonde, blue eyed and kept getting her cheeks pinched, her brother thought it was hilarious. Now in emo phase so no more. Just say thanks and keep it light.

Aw that's adorable. I remember my sister in Spain when she was 2/3. White skin, white hair and blue eyes. The locals loved her! My own dd was swamped by a massive group of Chinese tourists as a baby. They all wanted a photo with her, then did a big group photo with her 🤣

TrickyD · 20/02/2025 20:06

I have two mixed race grandchildren; DGS is noticeably darker than DGD. While their mum was wheeling them both in the pushchair, an old lady came up to her and said “What beautiful children! Do they have the same father?”

She may not have crossed the road in order to say it though.

Cakeandcardio · 20/02/2025 20:06

bomalan · 20/02/2025 18:55

Everyone does this with my youngest (4). It must be really hard for her older Sister (7). People come over to us on holiday, in cafes etc to say how beautiful my youngest is.

My poor eldest is just sat there.

I never know quite how to respond to it either :/.

Can you just maybe say something like 'oh I love my babies so much' or 'I am so proud of both of my children' or something?

Waterweight · 20/02/2025 20:07

I had a brother used to (used to!) get thousands of comments on his looks too the point we would be often held up (though nobody crossed the street to do it😜)

He hated it at the time being held up/talked about/others who didn't notice or care suddenly zooming in on him because a fuss was being made but grew up with massive confidence

Now looks like a potato at 35 & has low self esteem when anybody points out he used to be better looking so it's come full circle

friendlycat · 20/02/2025 20:07

They must have excellent eyesight to cross the street. I would compliment them on their eyesight.

Julimia · 20/02/2025 20:08

What? Is this a genuine post? If do it's beyond my understanding !!

Mirabai · 20/02/2025 20:08

I knew there would be all this mean-spirited, competitive carping.

I grew up with 3 siblings - one of whom as a child was exceptionally beautiful - and people did comment. It all evened out later and we ended up looking fairly similar, but I too would be concerned about the unequal dynamic. I even considered what would happen if it occurred with my own kids but it didn’t. It’s actually quite hard for the child who’s the recipient.

Kitkat189 · 20/02/2025 20:09

Come on, this does happen - my friend’s daughter had a phase when she was a toddler where people would absolutely gush when they saw her. I witnessed this frequently. I have children of my own so I know what baseline niceties around children sound like and these reactions were nothing like that, so I believe op.

The child I was referring to above is a teenager now and still pretty but I guess people don’t act like that around older children or teens so it doesn’t seem to be happening anymore so the op won’t have to worry about this for much longer

TheignT · 20/02/2025 20:09

ChampagneLassie · 20/02/2025 19:54

Come on that’s daft. You can love them equally but appreciate things objectively too. I’ve got two daughters. First was stunningly cute, huge very blue eyes, long eyelashes, very symmetrical features, we had many people comment. Our second baby is averagely cute, the comments we receive are different.

its tricky @Mlovelybabies id be inclined to not focus on looks too much with either kid. I was probably lucky that it was my first that got all the attention as now, she still gets the attention even when there’s a baby there!

Show quote history

My youngest had a very traumatic forceps delivery and looked like he'd gone several rounds with a very good boxer. Then he developed an allergic rash. People recoiled when they came to coo at the new baby. He did improve with time but even I could see he was no beauty at that age. Just made me love him more. I could see the handsome boy he would be.

Waisted · 20/02/2025 20:11

I would look them dead in the eye and ask if they are a peadophile, not because I think they are of course, just to make them feel massively uncomfortable so they think twice before doing it to anyone else’s kids.

FriendlyEeyore · 20/02/2025 20:13

people cross the street just to comment on her beauty.

Sure Jan

Ritzybitzy · 20/02/2025 20:15

We had this - “don’t be fooled” was my go to answer.

oakleaffy · 20/02/2025 20:15

LadyKenya · 20/02/2025 19:07

Crossing the street to comment on a child's looks, sounds a bit much, unless they are from some top child's modelling agency, wanting to take said child on.

Or a raging nonce.

DancerOnIce · 20/02/2025 20:17

I have a different but similar situation - DD6 is a wheelchair user and people trip over themselves to talk to her and say how pretty/clever/smiley she is. DD10 just gets ignored 90% of the time and I really feel for her. I know people are just trying to show how inclusive they are, but it’s at the expense of my other child