Beautiful child, how to respond

[Mlovelybabies]

This obviously sounds like a not-stealth boast, but how do I respond to comments about DD’s appearance? She is 2 and DS is 6. They’re both adorable but DD is especially striking, people cross the street just to comment on her beauty. (She looked like a potato when she was tiny, with jaundice and frequent eye infections! People would peer into the pram, shudder and couldn’t even bring themselves to say she was cute). I know that looks can change and beautiful babies might not be beautiful adults but I worry about the effect on her esteem, and on DS’s esteem. She’s a bit shy and just looks down when they comment on her looks. And I know DS feels jealous of the extra attention she gets even though he’s not particularly hung up on appearance.

my response currently is to say, “yes, they’re both very sweet/lovely/wonderful/etc” and not give it any more time. Does that seem appropriate?

This would also be my two year old 🤣

OP, with kindness, I think you're reading rather too much into this all and probably need to drop the obsession with looks (ref both ugly baby potato and beautiful two year old comments)....

“She’s an arsehole, the other one is much nicer.”

Even it out a bit 😂

People used to comment in public similarly on DD, who was an absolutely angelic-looking toddler — round chubby face, blue eyes, blonde ringlets, full china-doll looks.

If it helps, OP, there’s a very limited time when they look so cherubic. Once in school, and in a school uniform with lunch all down the front, gappy teeth, magic marker on their hands and messy hair, onlookers stop making the lovely comments. Nobody admires a grubby-looking primary school child 🤣 Around about 8 y o they all look like grubby potatoes.

So enjoy it while it lasts! It’s a time-limited problem and your DD won’t even remember!

DD looked a bit odd until around 3 and then we used to get people commenting on her looks all the time, including complete strangers. I know some people will say that all our daughters are beautiful etc but some are more conventionally "pretty" than others.
She is a size 6 but curvy and is blonde with huge blue eyes and at 19 she still gets a lot of attention from men/boys and doesn't really like it. Her lovely BF gets told he is punching above his weight a lot and she probably could find someone to match her in terms of looks but they suit eachother very well and are happy together.
Many people will tell you you are bragging and/or your DD isn't special OP but the fact is some girls and women are more attractive than others and anyone who claims otherwise is delusional.
My response to people who comment on DDs looks is to mostly ignore it or say something about her personality or intelligence

I was that kid, although I think I got more comments because I was a bit of a black sheep compared to my relatives (fair hair, light eyes and very tanned skin in a Lebanese/Egyptian mix family). It's only difficult now I'm older and don't get those comments anymore 😂

Anyone who crosses the street to comment on a little kids beauty is a bit weird.

Don't know why you're getting these weird comments. Some children are exceptionally beautiful and people do comment on it.

OP I was a textbook pretty child and people used to comment on it often. Unfortunately they used to say it in front of my sister who was not as pretty as a child (absolutely gorgeous now!). My self esteem has always been pretty rock solid but my sister's is not so much. Sadly I do think that those comments when we were children have contributed to the difference in our self esteem. AFAIK my mum dealt with it as best she could and she certainly made an effort to tell us both that we were beautiful as children.

I think the best course of action is to jokingly say "yes I do make gorgeous children" or something like that and make sure to draw a bit of attention to your DS. Hopefully people will get the hint.

Yes, it does sound very odd, doesn't it!

I have this with my DS so I can empathise. People say DD is pretty but they go completely over the top with DS and a- I find it embarrassing and don't know how to respond. Had this recently with some school mums 'he's SO handsome isn't he, isn't he though' I'm like do I say oh god yeah isn't he?! Like what do you want me to say, b- I feel bad for my daughter and c - I think their next thought is where does he get it from and it makes me feel bad about myself. I guess a simple thank you is the best answer but it just feels uncomfortable

Dd gets a lot of comments. I usually say ‘yes it’s a good job as well’ and shrug. I think people do always comment when they’re little. I always compliment people’s children when I meet them even when they’re not that special. I think you’re overthinking it tbh.

Yes but not at 2 years old for Christ sake!

Many cute babies aren’t attractive adults in the same way not the cutest kids can turn out stunning.

My DD’s specialty was getting accosted in Italian supermarkets - I used to keep a tally and rib her about it! She was blonde, blue eyed and kept getting her cheeks pinched, her brother thought it was hilarious. Now in emo phase so no more. Just say thanks and keep it light.

Have you wrote about this ‘problem’ before?

Exactly!

It's not just me see!

Crossing the street 😭😂

😂 your 2 year old must be incredibly intelligent too then, to be so demure when people compliment her? Two! My almost 3 year old would probably just roar or something.

I love this. 🤣🤣🤣

Isn't it.

I grew up in this dynamic, my brother being the good looking one, me bit so much. He had a much more outgoing personality too so we were treated very differently.
I'm not sure how you handle it as a parent as you can't control what other people do and it can be going out with a celeb sometimes I bet! I have very much internalised that I'm not attractive but I also know it's really not that important.

Just big your son up and praise his qualities and emphasise that being a kind person, working hard at school etc are very valuable character traits.

Did people actually cross the street to tell your parents, though?

A woman once swerved her car into a lay-by and jumped out leaving the door open to compliment my sister on her greyhound.

People cross the street to comment on their beauty?!

😂😂😂😂😂

My sister was very cute and pretty and I wasn't. People used to say wow, she's so pretty/cute/beautiful hair etc. To be honest I don't like people reducing a person down to their looks. But it's life, I think what you're saying is fine. Sure I found it a bit annoying as a kid. If it's family you can ask them to say kind things about both to minimise sibling jealousy and rivalry. I'm quite competitive, this might be part of the reason why. But it's also fine, we are still friends.

You could tell them that yes, you agree ,she is beautiful, it was so worthwhile selling her soul to the devil to achieve such perfection.

This one I believe. Dog people are insane.

might be worth sticking her on ebay so you don't have the hassle of strangers talking to you all the time.

from the sounds of it there would be a major bidding war and probably Paris Hilton or Angelina Jolie would pick her up and you'd be made for life