Today, I man-spread on the train.

[Trainarmrestfairy]

When a man sat next to me on the train and tried to manoeuvre my arm out the way, off the middle arm rest, so he could rest his there, I pushed back.

I’ve never ever put my arm on the middle arm rest between seats on a train before - I just take the one on the edge (either by the aisle or window).

But, today I fought back. Today I won. Ten years (excluding Covid) of men shoving their arm into my body and their legs onto my floor space, and today I fought back.

Incredibly petty, I know. But God it felt good. Not sure if that’s because of the surprised gasp the man gave or because of the power. Who knows? A victory to all women who have ever been squashed against the window of a train because a man felt it necessary to take up 1.5 seats!

@CassandraWebb - wow, do some arseholes really assume you should move out of their way?

Yup. Always male. I joke about getting a bit of razor wire added to the footrest so they never forget what arses they are.

Lots of people are amazing to be fair. But there is a certain type of man of a certain age who thinks everyone should move out of his way.

(On the flip side I had a lovely chat with a lovely male shop keeper today who has redesigned the layout for his shop to make it easier for wheelchair users after watching me struggle)

I bloke swore under his breath at me as he had to move out of my way the other day. It really triggered me and I instinctively shouted ‘WHAT’S YOUR FUCKING PROBLEM”? It caused some consternation on other men’s faces. Probably because it came of out the mouth of a 66-year-old white haired women! I’m at that ‘no more fucks to give’ age.

Total bollocks 😂 it isn’t as if they are required to keep their legs tightly together, just in front of their bodies!

Try swimming patriarchy chicken. My DD is an absolute beast at that. The looks on their faces when she ploughs her furrow through them is priceless.

Ahh yes I mastered this before I got ill too! Some men behave appallingly in the pool.

In the pre covid days when more women wore heels, patriarchy chicken was a doddle on packed train. It's amazing how much space men would give you when confronted by a stilleto heel. Very easy to cross ones legs & have the heel pointing upwards towards the crotch/splayed legs of a man. Suddenly those legs would close a bit & the encroaching legs would miraculously stay in their own area.

Ditto when standing up on the tube, men would rarely stand too close to a heel wearer. As they didn't want their feet to get skewered by heels so maybe it's time to keep a pair in our bags just to wear on the trains.

There's a story, which I really hope is true, of a middle aged woman addressing a manspreader with "Young man, I'm a consultant urologist, and I have to advise you to consult a doctor immediately. If you need that much space to accommodate your testicles, you have something seriously wrong."

Last year I had a man sitting in front of my toddler on a long haul (day!) economy flight.
My toddler was obviously wriggling around a bit, not majorly but they were too young to just watch a screen for hours. The man wasn't pleased and told us off.

Cool.

There was nothing I could do really, so after a while he asked his wife to swap with him.

The wife was sitting in a completely different row looking after their 2 primary children on her own.

My DC fell asleep shortly after the DW swapped with the husband and I was very pleased for my small role in forcing her 'important' husband actually have to share the parenting

I realise I was a massive twat for taking a toddler in my own on a day long haul flight but it was to visit a dying relative so I have my excuse!

Haha karma!

And nothing wrong with travelling on your own with a child, I did it regularly as my husband worked a way a lot so we would travel to visit him. There are all sorts of reasons someone might need or want to

Good for you, OP.

I once had a row with such a man on a train. I told him very loudly that unless he wanted to pay for my ticket, he wasn't allowed to sit in my seat, and that if he was too large to sit in one seat, standing burns more calories.

How was your toddler's wriggling bothering the man?
Unless you mean your toddler was kicking and pulling at his chair back. Otherwise he wouldn't know your child was wriggling.

In which case you were completely in the wrong and I sympathise with him.

To me the first image is man spreading. The second is just the natural angle mens hip joints angle along with increased leg length (they are generally taller) resulting in the knees being further apart than straight on.

But the second man still needs to be within his own space if there’s a stranger next to him.

But the second man still needs to be within his own space if there’s a stranger next to him.

He'd manage it if another man was sitting next to him, wouldn't he.

If they didn't slouch they'd find it easier

@Brefugee

If they didn't slouch they'd find it easier
The man in the normal seated position isn't slouching at all

@Bedecked
@ErrolTheDragon

But the second man still needs to be within his own space if there’s a stranger next to him.
I think they just sit a seat apart. If there was not enough space to do this I think the second bloke just would sit down.

I get it's not ideal but I see people complain all the time about men on planes taking up the space next to their seat but there is literally no room to do anything else.

If you are tall your knees can not go forward as there is a seat back in the way. There is literally nowhere for the legs to go but sideways.

It's the fault of transport. They've made seats too small.

It's the same for morbidly obese people. They can't fit in a seat without encroaching. What are they supposed to do?

** If someone doesn't fit a standard seat then they should pay for a larger one - the extra legroom seats or business class or more than one seat. Or use an airline which has bigger seats. Yes, it will cost them more but obviously it's completely unacceptable for them to steal the space a stranger has paid for.

Cant bear the man-spreaders on the train, good for you OP.

Funnily enough, I very rarely experience it on the pavements. And I walk a lot. Perhaps its because I always have numerous small children in tow and men surmise its quicker to move out of my way. Dog walkers (male and female equally) are the ones I find to be real rotters, a solid 50% of them expect me to maneuvere my 3 children under 4 out into the road so that themselves and the dog(s) can continue on their merry way. The mind boggles!

Brilliant!

I always do this, it works.

Oops, this was in response to @NewHeaven who uses her handbag to assert her right to the space she has paid for.

Yes he really was....bet he muttered about me for days after!