Today, I man-spread on the train.

[Trainarmrestfairy]

When a man sat next to me on the train and tried to manoeuvre my arm out the way, off the middle arm rest, so he could rest his there, I pushed back.

I’ve never ever put my arm on the middle arm rest between seats on a train before - I just take the one on the edge (either by the aisle or window).

But, today I fought back. Today I won. Ten years (excluding Covid) of men shoving their arm into my body and their legs onto my floor space, and today I fought back.

Incredibly petty, I know. But God it felt good. Not sure if that’s because of the surprised gasp the man gave or because of the power. Who knows? A victory to all women who have ever been squashed against the window of a train because a man felt it necessary to take up 1.5 seats!

I love Patriarchy Chicken. I can't be on a busy station concourse and not play it. The look of bewilderment is most gratifying.

I will also say to Manspreaders who have sat next to me "This isn't going to work for me." Indignant bewilderment and then compliance ensues.

Good one OP, good one.

Yep also cyclists on tow paths etc we are assumed to jump into the nettles or grass so they can jog or cycle down the middle as fast as they like without sharing the path ..l try to ignore them ..ha ha

I must confess I don’t move out of the way of cyclists - they seem to think they have right of way on roads and pavements!

My 3 year old son tried to get a man to move back over to the side he was originally walking on until he saw us approaching. My son was saying to me "can't stay away from the road mummy"! I said loudly "unfortunately that old man thinks his life is more valuable than yours sweetheart".

Probably is to him. The whole women and children first thing is nonsense.

I had one who continously opened and shut his briefcase so he could shove my arm off. I was not on the armrest but at the side of it so from then on I kept putting my arm back. He got the message.

On shared paths (which don't have marked lanes) I usually walk in a sensible position towards the left. (Right if I'm in a country which drives on the right). My assumption is that it's best to maintain a steady course, and let the faster/bigger traveller adjust. It usually works fine.
Somewhat similar to the rules for boats except without having to worry about wind direction

I was once one of a number of people waiting at a pedestrian crossing. Cars were slowing down to let people cross, but a cyclist came up yelling "I"m not stopping!" An old lady near me said "Oh, I think you are", and stuck her wheelie case out in front of him. Suddenly he discovered he could use his brakes after all.

Well done OP!!

Brilliant! 👏

Patriarchy Chicken.

BAND NAME

Of course his life is more valuable to him. It is a bit daft to think anything else of a complete stranger.

And also, tbh. I would have laughed loudly at the "I said loudly "unfortunately that old man thinks his life is more valuable than yours sweetheart"."
performative nonsense.

Keep your course if you're on your own.if you have a child walking and you are taking up the entire path, tbh it's on you to stop, squash up a bit or whatever. If the path is wide enough for all of you? Make sure you!re between the man and your child and carry on.

I love a good game of patriarchy chicken but we all have to be sensible and not act as entitled to the whole path as they do

I use my walking stick to "man spread" on trains..(well not man spread really, just defend my share of the space)

If I am in my wheelchair I also very much enjoy playing chicken with the men who think they are entitled to never move out of anyone's way.

I spend a lot of time on trains and win this every time now. My natural way of sitting doesn't involve the middle armrest, but if you sit next to me and sit so you're in my space it's fair game.

Top tip - go to the loo/shop/bin so that when you get back your sat down before they are.

This is my favourite post so far

Yup. One of my favourite games. Make eye contact as well if you can. As soon as they start to give way I compromise and give way too, but not before. It's interesting to see how it goes in other countries too...it comes as much more of a shock to some (Paris, I'm looking at you...)

ThoseDarnCrows the prodding man is outrageous

Loving these stories, except this one.
Why did you insist the person with 3 large dogs move? Would you have insisted if it was a woman walking them? It would have been far far easier for you to move in this scenario.

He could have pulled his three large dogs aside to let the person past. I put other pedestrians before my dog. I once had to almost push a dog out of the way rather than step into a busy road. The owner was having a chat and her dog was in the way of people. I keep my dog to the side or I stand to the side with my dog to let people past.

Don't get me started on Spain and Italy, the men use the opportunity to barge into you & grope you all at the same time. Eeew!

That’s where we differ.
I have never given way for purely gender reasons. However if someone of either gender is approaching with 3 dogs, 3 kids, or managing 3 of anything potentially difficult to handle, and I was on my own, I’d give them room. It’s just curtesy.
I’d hope others would do the same for me if I was in that position.

I once sat opposite a man on a train who was determined to stretch his legs out in front of him into my area - I was obviously supposed to tuck my feet back like a good little demure woman. I stood my ground and kept my knees bent at a 90 degree angle and took up precisely my half of the space underneath the table between us. He huffed and he puffed and he shuffled around in his seat, and kept trying to make eye contact with me. I brought my book up in front of my face and refused to give an inch as I listened to him sighing and tutting. It was hilarious watching the male entitlement fail.

Or maybe you and your friend were walking side by side thus taking up most of the path. I walk with a friend and when we approach others one of us drops behind the other to make passing easier. It infuriates me how many people in groups seem to think their group is one connected unit and expect everyone to go around them. The worse group seem to he the 50-70 year olds. Weird bunch

I'm be never had this. That's weird behaviour alright