Today, I man-spread on the train.

[Trainarmrestfairy]

When a man sat next to me on the train and tried to manoeuvre my arm out the way, off the middle arm rest, so he could rest his there, I pushed back.

I’ve never ever put my arm on the middle arm rest between seats on a train before - I just take the one on the edge (either by the aisle or window).

But, today I fought back. Today I won. Ten years (excluding Covid) of men shoving their arm into my body and their legs onto my floor space, and today I fought back.

Incredibly petty, I know. But God it felt good. Not sure if that’s because of the surprised gasp the man gave or because of the power. Who knows? A victory to all women who have ever been squashed against the window of a train because a man felt it necessary to take up 1.5 seats!

Ok then

I was in the middle of three bulkhead seats (husband in window seat) on a flight last year, I was wondering who would be sitting next to me on the aisle seat. My heart sank when a huge, rugby player type turned up, put his bag in the overhead bin and then squashed himself into his seat. For three hours he tried to make himself as small as possible, didn't even use the armrest, and kept his massive thighs together, slightly angled towards the aisle. I loved him! But a very rare occurrence.

Me and my female friends call this 'Patriarchy Chlhicken'

This is a bit dramatic. Surely if someone takes up too much space you just ask them to move like an adult????

I stopped moving out of the way for men a decade ago. The bemusement on their faces when they realise they are going to have to move never gets old.

Ha, I did this recently at an event my son was taking part in. Man sat next to me and spread his legs to a ridiculous degree. So I did too. Rested my leg flat against his and applied ever such slight pressure. It took about ten minutes but incrementally I gained ground until he shuffled and pointed his knees together away from me. I kept my legs apart. It wasn't exactly comfortable but there was no way I was letting him do that again. DH was the other side of me and completely oblivious to my victory. I was thrilled.

Me too.

Absolutely.
👏
My anger now causes me to bulldoze through them 😂

Love this thread😁

I have walked out in public before so I don’t need to do an experiment. I’ve always moved or gone to move for people but I’ve quite often had people move out my way (men and women)

If only paths were like roads. Walk on the left.

I usually have two laptops in my handbag (don’t like rucksacks)…ohh imagine the injuries I could cause if I bulldozed 😁handbag swinging left and right. sighs in contentment

Good for you.

I've always done this.

Sometimes I feel all the other girls were taken aside one day when I was off sick and given all these subordinate socialisation rules that I just never knew existed until I discovered feminism.

Man spreading never bothered me … maybe I’m not paying attention. Occasionally in airplanes because the space is so tiny.

Well done OP!

I love a game of patriarchy chicken! I'm not small, 6 foot, and used to weight train. I make myself small if I need to make room for someone, say with with children, or mobility aids etc etc But any one barreling towards me, expecting me to move, rather than take up my "share" of the pavement, I won't.

A few years ago, a group of 4 young men were doing just that, on my usual lunch time walk. This was when I was training heavily 6 days a week, so I was solid. Wide pavement, easily room for 3 people abreast, and all but one of the men shifted over slightly so we could all get past each other. But one didn't, so I stopped, and he actually dropped his shoulder and tried to barge into me! I braced, and he bounced off me, and landed on his arse. 😁I was very nice, asked if he was ok, and offered him a hand up. He declined.

Good for you!
Slightly different, but I've trained my older DC to look at bags on seats on crowded public transport and say loudly "Mum, why does that bag have its own seat while there are people standing or sitting on the floor? Do you think it paid for a ticket?" It's oddly satisfying to see the embarrassed responses.

I do this all the time these days. I take up the middle arm and I will not move my leg out of the way on a train seat to make space for any man's balls, whatever their size. They can keep their legs confined to their own space, thank-you very much.

Yes... I used to fly to San Diego quite often, the leg from Chicago typically had quite a few very solidly built navy guys on it - and unsurprisingly one was often seated next to my small self. But they were able to sit considerately.

I dont make way for men as they seem to expect, haven't done for years and I walk on the outside of the pavement as they will hog it otherwise. I'll make way for women, children or people with mobility aids etc.

Yay!
Another one here who won't move onto the road / grass because a group is taking up the whole pavement.
I felt sad the the other day when I watched a girl and boy walk up the road together. They were about 11. A group of kids were walking the other way and the boy just carried on walking straight with the confidence of knowing the group would split for him. The girl however stepped into the wet gutter to let them pass. 😪

I was sat in my GP's waiting room last year minding my own business when in came a couple. She sat down next to me on the one chair available, but the only other available ones were on the opposite row.
He then proceeded to prod on my knee with his walking stick and said 'would you like to move over there (to the empty chairs) so I can sit with my wife'.

I was furious at being prodded but instead of moving I just replied 'oh no thankyou, I'm fine where I am', and continued to stare at the wall. He looked incredulous that I had disobeyed him, but after no further response from me went and sat on the naughty chair the opposite row of chairs.
If he hadn't prodded me and just asked in a polite manner, then maybe I would have moved....but he will never know now will he!!

Definitely - a bit like a retractable cat claw!

Well done everyone 👏👏👏

when I used to commute on the train a man had his legs spread so far apart. I tolerated it for about 5 mins then asked him why he had his legs so far apart! He then put his knees together thankfully. I did feel a bit mean because he was tall. But I thought why should I be uncomfortable just so he can be for an hour.

I do this a lot. One of the benefits of being tall and having surprisingly sharp elbows. They ricochet off 😂