Work "get to know you"s

[MaybeIamJealous]

Work has decided the whole office (approx 400 employees) must take turns to introduce themselves to the rest of the office, i.e. stand up when it's your turn and say something about you, your role, your interests outside of work etc. This is being done team by team.

The first introductions were done today. Everyone seemed to claim to be champion sports people / have been an extra in a movie / went from picking up a guitar for the first time in September to playing gigs by Christmas etc. No average Joe's amongst them.

I've been told I cannot do a woe is me section (saying I'm disabled and in pain and have no tolerance for this kinda shit won't fly 🤣). So instead I'm thinking of saying something completely made up, but not so obviously made up as to have me outed as full of crap. I already suspect some of my colleagues today had also played this game!

I'm looking for some inspiration coz I'm not coming up with much. Would you love some of your ideas.

What do you do in your spare time?

Yes, make up some plausible crap.

This is just it. I do very little. I have chronic fatigue and pain. I barely leave the house. This introduction will be the first time in over a year since I made it into the office.

I used to enjoy socialising, cinema, eating out, holidays, reading, baking etc. I could probably still say these things but I don't actually do most of that anymore. I just about manage to cook dinner a few times a week. DH picks up the rest of the time. I do still read a bit but it's not very exciting is it. So basically most of my spare time is spent in bed.

My husband had this when he started a new job! He claimed to be currently writing a novel! They believed him! It was a complete lie!

This is what I'm thinking. The whole thing is crap anyway. I will have forgotten what anyone today said by next week.

@MaybeIamJealous nothing wrong with saying you love to read.
I love books and would really enjoy to hear someone talk about their favourite author or book.

Omg, that's brilliant!

@Needmorelego true. I guess I just feel really boring compared to everyone else. A decade ago I was always off on holiday or planning my next holiday. Now I use my annual leave on medical appointments or recovery if I've overdone it.

"I'm a murderer and part-time jewel thief"

I’d go with boring stuff like
my favourite food is…

Did you know I have a (pet/musical instrument/stamp collection…)?
My best holiday was to…
I once ran into (celebrity of your choice)
My favourite colour is … and guess what, I’ve even got a … in that colour

that kind of stuff.

Lord, could you imagine HRs faces 😂

Something about baking/cooking, what your signature cake/dessert/meal is, where you discovered it or what it reminds you off (on a holiday?) and/or being a social butterfly who just loves spending time with her family whenever you can or getting the girls round for drinks and a good old chin wag. Just nonsense but say it with conviction like it is the best hing in the world.

Done 200 jigsaws last year?

In my spare time I make my own pasta.
Knit jumpers for abandoned puppies.
Illustrate for a friends book that he is trying to get published.
Forage for mushrooms.

@Pepperama I'm actually thinking about mentioning the celebrity thing alright. I've met a few. Most famous was probably Ed Harris. I was also a bit of groupie of a particular genre rather than 1 band in my heyday and often ended up having late night drinks etc with band members.

Ooh some great ideas here. Definitely plenty of plausible ones. I forgot my love of jigsaws and puzzles.

This! I'm too old to be subjected to this nonsense, but if I was I'd love to hear from someone who actually read books. Fiction? Non-fiction? Have your tastes changed over the years? (Mine have and that's also interesting IMO.) Do you prefer printed paper? Online via a laptop? Project Gutenberg? Kindles? Aren't the technology changes fascinating? And so on...

As for "champion sports people / have been an extra in a movie / went from picking up a guitar for the first time in September to playing gigs by Christmas" not everyone has to admire that.

Tell them you have 6 toes on one foot (unless you intend wearing sandals to the office in the future).

Tell them you're regional champion at under water basket weaving!

This one's for saveforthat and anyone who's a fan of the Whittlesey Straw Bear festival in the Fens.

Sounds a bit of a painful session, but believe me, everyone will be focused on what they want to say and what they how to appear and your moment will last, literally a moment, and unless you say something particularly startling, time will move on, with no consequences. You might not think you have anything, but it is OK to say something really mundane that no-one can prove. Don't worry about it, they will stop on you for a short 15 seconds, and then move on to the next person. Hope this helps x

The music genre stories will be perfect - keep it clean though 😉

I've been told I cannot do a woe is me section (saying I'm disabled and in pain and have no tolerance for this kinda shit won't fly 🤣).

You asked them if you could be honest about your life and they said no? If that's what you'd like to do, you should be able to.

@OldChairMan , yeah I asked my team leader. It was kinda said as "keep it light. Just say something fun and interesting about yourself ". Now I know that makes him sound terrible. He's actually a lovely guy. We've worked together for years. But I think these sessions are meant to be up beat.

Nah - that 'etc' from the OP upthread is doing a lot of heavy lifting. I'm interested... Practice on us, OP. 😉