Work "get to know you"s

[MaybeIamJealous]

Work has decided the whole office (approx 400 employees) must take turns to introduce themselves to the rest of the office, i.e. stand up when it's your turn and say something about you, your role, your interests outside of work etc. This is being done team by team.

The first introductions were done today. Everyone seemed to claim to be champion sports people / have been an extra in a movie / went from picking up a guitar for the first time in September to playing gigs by Christmas etc. No average Joe's amongst them.

I've been told I cannot do a woe is me section (saying I'm disabled and in pain and have no tolerance for this kinda shit won't fly 🤣). So instead I'm thinking of saying something completely made up, but not so obviously made up as to have me outed as full of crap. I already suspect some of my colleagues today had also played this game!

I'm looking for some inspiration coz I'm not coming up with much. Would you love some of your ideas.

@CrystalSingerFan, oh I could never kiss and tell. Oops 😁

Online poker player?
Only fans of your feet?

I shot a man in Reno just to watch him die ... And I also enjoy sudoku.

'Rhiannon and I have much in common'

A reference to Sweetpea and serial killing.

That'll shut them up whilst nodding to current tv

We seem to have a similar sense of humour

I haven't actually watched that show yet. Would you recommend it? Or the book even?

It doesn't have to be an impressive fact. You could just say something like "Hi, I'm Julie, and for the first six months I worked here, (insert hilarious misunderstanding or mildly embarrassing story)". Or just "I'm the one who keeps that fancy coffee in the kitchen cupboard, no you can't have some" or "I know how to unjam the printer, but you'll have to pay me in chocolate". People will warm to you and you'll have connected with them without playing the hidden talent Top Trumps game.

I feel your pain @MaybeIamJealous. I have a chronic pain condition and for years I did three things (1) work (2) recover for work (3) the bear minimum to stop me and my house becoming hygiene hazards.

I do have a new medication which is working miracles so don’t give up hope! x

Aw I'm glad things have improved for you @StormingNorman. I actually have a doctor's appointment tomorrow. Maybe I'll find my miracle yet.

I love researching about local history and my family tree in my spare time.

Will you get questions? Or is it just “announce and run” type of thing?

I'm a wheelchair user. When someone expects me to come out with something upbeat in front of others, I let 'upbeat sarcasm' take over - and suggest I regularly win medals for something definitely not possible on my condition.

The trick to my response is to remain smiling, eyes and all.

{mention:pizzaHeart}@pizzaHeart, today was mainly announce and run, but there was a bit of questioning too. Mostly via the "presenter '. So after Tom finished his piece, it could be just a thanks for that Tom, I think Sarah is next, type comment. But every now and then there would be," wow, that's so impressive. I had no idea you were a scuba diving instructor too. How did you get into that? "

This would kinda be my default response too. But, to be fair, work has been very accommodating so I want to keep it plausible. But with a hint of pisstaking too.

I had to do this once, I said I had recently enrolled on a course to learn ventriloquism, which was of course BS.

Doing a bucket list for retirement?

You could be someone who enters jigsaw puzzle championships.

Say you were a TV extra once

Tbh I’d refuse to do this , I have a fear of public speaking .
They can’t force you and probably no one would notice if 1 person didn’t .

Fun Fact...
You were Time Magazine's Person of the Year 2006

For context, google the cover (while my image is under review)

I think I'd have be sick that day. Or I'd just say my name is JustAbout and I think these things are a load of bloody shite!

Once, about ten years ago in this exact situation, when put on the spot I decided to tell my new colleagues I had recently taken up carpentry as a hobby! I thought it would make me sound interesting and they were all impressed.
For the subsequent five years I worked there people would regularly talk to me about carpentry things, would show me pictures of things they'd built themselves, would ask my advice on how to fix or adjust things, when asked what I did at the weekend I maintained my imaginary Saturday carpentry class.
When I eventually left, the thoughtful bunch had a collection and got me some specialist carpentry tools!
Folks, armed with my new tools, I took up carpentry as a hobby! Turns out I'm pretty good at it too.
You can use my idea OP if you want, it might lead you to a new hobby.

There’s a special place in hell for people who instigate this shit. I have absolutely no tolerance for it either.

Just stand up, say “Wibble” and sit back down

😂 @paranoiaofpufflings