School run comments in work

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In a meeting last month I said I wasn't available for Monday meetings at 3:00. I could do any other time before or after.

The most senior person in the meeting said "that sounds like a school run" I didn't really confirm or deny what it was.

It was said in a meeting full of men I was the only female if it makes a difference and I just feel off about it and I can't work out why but I don't think he should of said it.

Am I just being over sensitive as I have form for this.

He wouldn’t have said it if it were a man (and he was indeed doing the school run). I get why it didn’t sit right with you.

@Dreammouse I'm not looking after my child for a portion of the day?

Yes, genuinely what the fuck? Boundaries!

The part which says if a child is young enough to need collecting they need childcare too.

This.

The main issue is that before covid every other mother or father had to work part time hours in order to be able to drop off/pick up from school. Now with WFH, parents can work full time but essentially only actually working part time. It’s theft and any manager is within their rights to question it.

It’s very hard for managers and work teams when half are taking an actual lunch break, and half are taking a school run break.

Of course you are, even if you're not actively having to engage with them, keep an eye on them, spoon feed them evidently they are at home when you are working past pick up ergo your attention is more divided than when they're not in the house.

my male boss does this,
pops out for the school run at a certain time every day,
always has

Be interesting to see some research about what the impact is on primary children who come home to a house where parents are WFH, and whether that is generally better or not for them than going into a childcare setting. Lots of challenging behaviour in schools, lots of mental health issues with children, lots of absence on Fridays (duvet days). But obviously not clear whether long term, being at home with parents who are working is better or worse for children. Old school (1960s) kids were just left alone to get on with it - but didn’t all the kids play out ? Can imagine some love being at home and prefer that to childcare. (Just wondering aloud and not suggesting I know the answer !)

You're probably not. In my experience men get more leeway for child related commitments, I know I did. That's working at a University where you'd think they might be a tad more enlightened.

Is this serious?

What do you mean by Trump might be right, sorry I don’t follow?

It would likely need to factor in that there may not actually be a childcare setting available, too. I'd expect that parents who've essentially been forced to do this would probably differ from those who had multiple options and felt this was the best one.

I think by arranging a meeting at 3:00 they were probably fed up with you not being there at important times.
Years ago, we had a problem with someone always being late back from lunch so arranged our meetings straight after lunch.
Even if you have agreed this with your manager, you should still let people you work with know your hours so they know when they can contact you.

I think you need to make it formal. You’re on thin ice with an informal agreement. It obviously does impact your working day as most people are available at 3pm and your colleagues obviously are having to work around it. I agree it’s crappy from them but realistically you need a formal agreement that this is ok and this will continue. Otherwise I think you’re asking for trouble..

How is a ft wfh parent working part time? I work a minimum of 37 hours a week, am at least as productive as I was when office based and only leave my desk to refill my coffee cup or take my allocated 30mins break at 3pm.

During the hour my child is home from school and I work, they watch TV or play their computer game. I work in a separate room at that time. I do not work pt.

Absolutely.

These arrangements create difficulties. It deoendsnon the role and if senior there are issues because 2pm to 5pm is generally regarded as full-time working hours. It makes co-ordinating meetings difficult when several parties are involved and can create operational difficulties for the business when delays arise.

I'm on the fence here. On the one hand it's reasonable flexible working but on the other it is also reasonable to decline such arrangements if there is an operational detriment.

If a meeting is being organised then anywhere I've worked it's arranged by offering a time slot or slots and ensuring everybody is available. If x says there's a segment of the day where they've another commitment then the meetings arranged around that.

If there are businesses where meetings are called on a dictate/comply basis then they need to move into the 21st century.

If I had a staff member request a 'reasonable adjustment' for the school run I'd be ensuring I could agree not looking for reasons why not.

I think you're being over sensitive, he assumed and asked you something and he was correct, end of.

It was a simple statement of fact. I really don't understand the issue here?

I think you’re overthinking as you’re worried somethings going to be said.
If things have been in place for you to do the school run for years and your own boss is okay with it then I wouldn’t worry too much.
The other boss said it sounds like the school run which it is. He doesn’t know your agreement with your boss and is only trying to schedule meetings that work for everyone.

I would let it go and try not to think about it.

I get why you feel off about it...

I assume if anyone else said they couldn't do a specific time, he didn't question them as to why?

And the others were all men?

I'd leave it for now but be very much on the alert for similar behaviour from this guy...

Yep. I agree with this. I am afraid the tide is turning on this sort of informal flexibility. I would put in a flexible working request.

Pretty crap of the male colleague to raise it in a Teams meeting.

If it's your lunch hour and it's agreed then you should have just said yes.

Fuck me, why can't women communicate directly? It's not difficult.