Big event clash - WWYD?

[everychildmatters]

Just found out a provisional date for my niece's wedding (husband's side) is on the same Saturday as my Mum's 70th. Bloody typical!!
I know all "big" birthdays are special, but my Mum was really poorly a while ago and she honestly never expected to make this milestone. We are incredibly close.
What would you do in my position?
Wedding about 4 hours drive from home.

Mums birthday

Mum's birthday no contest.

Is your mother not going to the wedding?

Edit learn to read the op!!

Can you do your mum's birthday day before or after?

Your dh goes to the wedding. You go to your mums birthday.

Yes mum’s bday

DH goes to the wedding, you do whatever is planned with your mum.

Make a w/end of it. Go to the wedding, take mum and stay in a hotel nearby. If you can't get her into the wedding (you prob will at the evening reception assuming there is one but after the speeches) she can do whatever but the next day take her somewhere nice

You spend it with your mum. DH either also gives his apologies to his niece or he goes to wedding himself

Birthday, your husband can go to his family wedding, you can spoil you Mum.

Divide and conquer

What in the Cheeky Fuckery have I just read?!

Try to wangle an invite for someone the bride has probably never met? Ridiculous.

Split up and go to one each.

We also have a 4 yo who may be asked to be bridesmaid 😢

Do not do this. don’t be the CF who asks to take their mum to a wedding.

Definitely prioritize your mums birthday if you’re close.

Mum's birthday. No question.

This. Simple

Your mum's birthday easily takes priority. I'd have thought the niece would be happy enough to have more space for their friends and you can always send a gift if you want to?

I didn't bother going to either of my nephews two weddings as I'm just not bothered about those sorts of events. Lots of people you don't know and often lots of very drunk people too, which is my pet hate.

However, I did organise a surprise party for my mum's 60th when I was a teenager and recently a surprise party for my husband's 70th. (He's older than me) I enjoy a family party with close members of your immediate family.

Ooooh

Well wait until she's asked I guess

Well either DH takes her or you just say no sorry straight away, explaining it's your mums Big Birthday and your DD will be going to a family do.

As Mumsnet likes to say "it's an invitation not a summons!"

I'd go to the wedding but take my mum for the weekend, maybe book her into a spa for the afternoon while you're out. You can always celebrate her birthday fully on the day or two around it. If it was a working day you may not necessarily have been able to take the day off.

DH and DD go to the wedding. You go to celebrate with your Mim. Easy.

i am assuming you wouldn’t be able to do as some have suggested and take her away with you because she probably has other people she would also want to see on her big day.

Surely you go to your mums birthday and husband goes to the wedding. Seems fairly obvious unless it's more complicated.

It's a bit of a leap to assume the mum would like to do that, let alone spend her 70th doing that.

My mum barely knows my husbands nieces.

Your mum. Definitely.